Who has Anhedonia? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-09-2013, 07:57 AM Thread Starter
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Who has Anhedonia?


Hi everyone.

I've been suffering with anhedonia for almost 5 years now. I cannot feel any human emotions/feelings whatsoever, no joy/excitement.... nothing. I also can't enjoy anything... nothing interests me, and there is simply no desire/motivation to do anything. I just waste time watching movies and sitting on the computer the whole day.... logically, I know that's not good, but I feel OK about that (ok well, I feel nothing... hard to explain) Complete, flat-out, zombie state.

I know many people suffer from lack of pleasure (anhedonia) but does anyone suffer with anhedonia + no emotions as well? If you do, could you please let me know what treatment worked for you?

Just wanted to see who's suffering from anhedonia. Thanks.

Suffering from SSRI induced Emotional Anesthesia/Anhedonia since 2009.

Currently taking:
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post #2 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-09-2013, 08:17 PM Thread Starter
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ne1?

Suffering from SSRI induced Emotional Anesthesia/Anhedonia since 2009.

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post #3 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-10-2013, 08:43 AM
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There are not too many things worse then not being able to feel something when you know you should. Most of the time all I feel is depression/anger. I hate laying in bed not knowing what to think or feel. Makes for very long nights. But yes sometimes I do feel like I feel nothing.
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post #4 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-10-2013, 12:32 PM Thread Starter
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There are not too many things worse then not being able to feel something when you know you should. Most of the time all I feel is depression/anger. I hate laying in bed not knowing what to think or feel. Makes for very long nights. But yes sometimes I do feel like I feel nothing.
Did you take any antidepressants? Prozac gave me permanent anhedonia... most people recover, however, because I have no luck in life (and things always go from bad to worst) I lost all my emotions/feeings and cannot even enjoy life. My personality and identity has been erased.... I can't even enjoy anything at all... anything I do is just to waste, fall asleep, and wake up to repeat the process.

Honestly, this really isn't a "life". Life was beautiful before I had anhedonia.... the problem is, it's permanent... I honestly don't think I will be able to continue living like this anymore. I never thought this type of suffering was even humanly possible.

Suffering from SSRI induced Emotional Anesthesia/Anhedonia since 2009.

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post #5 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-10-2013, 01:44 PM
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A test I took last year told me I had anhedonia. I think it was flawed though - there's a difference between not taking pleasure in things and not being able to take pleasure in things.

Isn't lack of emotion one of the hallmarks of anti-social personality disorder? Anti-social personality disorder is what psychopaths have. I'm not saying that you're a psychopath - anti-social personality disorder expresses itself in all kinds of ways - psychopathy is just one rare way. I just used that example to give you an idea of the disorder that I'm talking about. Then I start to think about autism and those kinds of disorders, but it sounds like you recognize emotion in other people, just that you can't seem to feel it.

Anyway, disregard most of what I just said and go see someone about it. That's your best bet.
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post #6 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-10-2013, 01:53 PM Thread Starter
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A test I took last year told me I had anhedonia. I think it was flawed though - there's a difference between not taking pleasure in things and not being able to take pleasure in things.

Isn't lack of emotion one of the hallmarks of anti-social personality disorder? Anti-social personality disorder is what psychopaths have. I'm not saying that you're a psychopath - anti-social personality disorder expresses itself in all kinds of ways - psychopathy is just one rare way. I just used that example to give you an idea of the disorder that I'm talking about. Then I start to think about autism and those kinds of disorders, but it sounds like you recognize emotion in other people, just that you can't seem to feel it.

Anyway, disregard most of what I just said and go see someone about it. That's your best bet.
No, I'm not psychopathic... I use to be a normal, happy, and hyper kid... I ended up becoming depressed because of terrible **** that happened, so I took Prozac, and ever since, I lost every single human emotion/feeling that I took for granted.

I also can't enjoy anything in life. I basically just waste time and do nothing, because honestly, this isn't even living anymore. I'm simply existing, and thanks to Prozac, I've been permanently brain damaged. Honestly though, as I said, it was to be expected because I honestly have the worst luck ever... not something I can explain in words, but sometimes I don't even understand why I even continue to live. Anhedonia = living hell... I just never thought living (or should I say existing) can be this painful.... the excitement/fun in life is completely gone.

I was never a suicidal person... never thought of suicide, but now, that's all I honestly think about... because I'm not even living anymore, I feel dead.

Suffering from SSRI induced Emotional Anesthesia/Anhedonia since 2009.

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post #7 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-10-2013, 01:57 PM
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Originally Posted by anhedonia View Post
No, I'm not psychopathic... I use to be a normal, happy, and hyper kid... I ended up becoming depressed because of terrible **** that happened, so I took Prozac, and ever since, I lost every single human emotion/feeling that I took for granted.

I also can't enjoy anything in life. I basically just waste time and do nothing, because honestly, this isn't even living anymore. I'm simply existing, and thanks to Prozac, I've been permanently brain damaged. Honestly though, as I said, it was to be expected because I honestly have the worst luck ever... not something I can explain in words, but sometimes I don't even understand why I even continue to live. Anhedonia = living hell... I just never thought living (or should I say existing) can be this painful.... the excitement/fun in life is completely gone.

I was never a suicidal person... never thought of suicide, but now, that's all I honestly think about... because I'm not even living anymore, I feel dead.
I don't think you read what I wrote, so I'll remind you..

"I'm not saying that you're a psychopath - anti-social personality disorder expresses itself in all kinds of ways - psychopathy is just one rare way. I just used that example to give you an idea of the disorder that I'm talking about."

Go talk to someone. You obviously want to talk about it, or you wouldn't be here talking to us. Why not talk to someone who can help you? Strangers on the internet are nothing compared to a stranger who is in the same room with you and who has been trained to counsel people.
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post #8 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-10-2013, 02:04 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by distinctlybeautiful View Post
I don't think you read what I wrote, so I'll remind you..

"I'm not saying that you're a psychopath - anti-social personality disorder expresses itself in all kinds of ways - psychopathy is just one rare way. I just used that example to give you an idea of the disorder that I'm talking about."

Go talk to someone. You obviously want to talk about it, or you wouldn't be here talking to us. Why not talk to someone who can help you? Strangers on the internet are nothing compared to a stranger who is in the same room with you and who has been trained to counsel people.
To be honest... I actually have no clue why I'm even posting this... the only reason I might be posting this is to see if there's other people suffering from anhedonia as well... and if they are suffering from the same type of anhedonia (no emotions/feelings + can't enjoy anything in life)

Suffering from SSRI induced Emotional Anesthesia/Anhedonia since 2009.

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post #9 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-10-2013, 03:24 PM
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Originally Posted by distinctlybeautiful View Post
Isn't lack of emotion one of the hallmarks of anti-social personality disorder? Anti-social personality disorder is what psychopaths have. I'm not saying that you're a psychopath - anti-social personality disorder expresses itself in all kinds of ways - psychopathy is just one rare way. I just used that example to give you an idea of the disorder that I'm talking about. Then I start to think about autism and those kinds of disorders, but it sounds like you recognize emotion in other people, just that you can't seem to feel it.
Actually, sociopaths can feel emotions, they just seem to lack a conscience and empathy. (They UNDERSTAND how other people feel, they just don't really care.) Sometimes they're a lot more impulsive and have a greater need to do more extreme things in order to feel emotions, but no, they don't usually lack emotions or the ability to feel pleasure, entirely.

(Sorry that this has nothing to do with the original thread...just wanted to clarify! I have much experience with apathy, including induced by SSRIs, but not technically anhedonia.)

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post #10 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-10-2013, 06:08 PM
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Do you by any chance have any of the following?:

-daydream most of the time
- have a dissociative disorder
-insomnia

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post #11 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-11-2013, 07:23 AM Thread Starter
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Do you by any chance have any of the following?:

-daydream most of the time
- have a dissociative disorder
-insomnia
No.

If you type in "SSRI Anhedonia" you will a lot of people suffering from it. Some people do recover, but there's people like me who don't, which ruins your life.

You don't feel any emotions, you can't feel joy, you never get excited... etc. I lost my personality and sense of humor... I don't even understand what's the point of leaving the house anymore when I can't enjoy anything anymore.

I miss the old me...

Suffering from SSRI induced Emotional Anesthesia/Anhedonia since 2009.

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post #12 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-12-2013, 09:46 AM
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I have to post here. The feeling of not enjoying anything is terrible. I don't if this is related to ADD/Socialanxiety. My medications made me worse I think. I take stimulants and tranquilizers and the anti depressant lexapro. This combination helps me but I never abuse stimulants stimulants anymore for this reason. Also still bit dependent on some weed sometimes, I don't see any problems with this. I have the feeling I can learn anything but I can never focus extended periods on stuff. I just need someone in life. There just comes just a point in life where you just have to accept things around you.
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post #13 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-12-2013, 09:49 AM
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I have anhedonia too. It sucks not feeling pleasure in anything. Ritalin doesn't even help, which I take daily for ADHD.
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post #14 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-12-2013, 12:16 PM Thread Starter
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I have to post here. The feeling of not enjoying anything is terrible. I don't if this is related to ADD/Socialanxiety. My medications made me worse I think. I take stimulants and tranquilizers and the anti depressant lexapro. This combination helps me but I never abuse stimulants stimulants anymore for this reason. Also still bit dependent on some weed sometimes, I don't see any problems with this. I have the feeling I can learn anything but I can never focus extended periods on stuff. I just need someone in life. There just comes just a point in life where you just have to accept things around you.
It's awful man, it really is. Do you also have a flat mood/no emotions as well? Like, I honestly have no emotions... I simply don't feel anything. I have to wait years (and that's if I ever will recover)

So you're taking Lexapro? Did you get anhedonia after taking stimulants/lexapro?

Let me know.

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I have anhedonia too. It sucks not feeling pleasure in anything. Ritalin doesn't even help, which I take daily for ADHD.
What caused your anhedonia? What about your emotions?

and I agree, it's absolutely horrific.

Suffering from SSRI induced Emotional Anesthesia/Anhedonia since 2009.

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post #15 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-12-2013, 12:35 PM
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I think I've struggled with more or less what you're talking about at least since I finished college nearly 2 years ago. To a lesser extent before that maybe.

With me though... I get the feeling I can't enjoy anything because I know I have other more productive things to do and the guilt and nagging feeling stops me from relaxing and living the moment enough to immerse myself properly in what I'm trying to enjoy.

It makes though in my case anyway I think. I need to get a job but the OCD and SA have made that complicated.

I have my moments now and then though. Very unpredictable though.

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I also can't enjoy anything in life. I basically just waste time and do nothing, because honestly, this isn't even living anymore.
Yep, that's about how I feel in general most of the time.

No real highs or lows anymore much... that feeling of coming home from school tired and stressed and unwinding completely guiltlessly was great some years ago.

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I'm simply existing, and thanks to Prozac, I've been permanently brain damaged.
I was on Prozac for a while a long time ago, but I never thought it did anything good or bad. No relation to it in my case anyway.

Are you sure you're not just in a horrible monotonous routine that may be causing the monotonous feelings? Do you have a job? You seem to suggest that you don't and are doing nothing.

Granted... it could be quite a cyclical thing... but if normal people were doing nothing like that, they'd be feeling anhedonia and pointlessness too. Worth looking into the possibility that it's more caused by circumstances. Hard to break out of a routine like that though anyway.

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post #16 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-12-2013, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted by anhedonia View Post
What caused your anhedonia? What about your emotions?

and I agree, it's absolutely horrific.
I'm really not sure what caused it, but it might have to do with moving from place to place all the time when I was a kid and went to 13 schools until high school. And nobody was in the military.

I guess my brain got overwhelmed and became numb.

I don't feel like a person anymore. I recently tried Citalopram, but after 5 days I felt as if my body was panicking inside and my heart was beating rapidly so I stopped taking it.

What's the point of living like this? Is there any medication that can help?
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post #17 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-13-2013, 12:30 AM
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It's awful man, it really is. Do you also have a flat mood/no emotions as well? Like, I honestly have no emotions... I simply don't feel anything. I have to wait years (and that's if I ever will recover)

So you're taking Lexapro? Did you get anhedonia after taking stimulants/lexapro?

Let me know.


What caused your anhedonia? What about your emotions?

and I agree, it's absolutely horrific.
ALways had it to be honest. The meds make me more stable. I feel very little. Feel like some robot. Stimulants barely motivate me. Stress/bullying in my youth kinda kills the brain and I'm inside I'm barely alive. A process that can't be reversed it seems but I'm happy with who I am. I still have emotions, but I never express them. My social life is nothing, what about yours. Sorry to hear it anyway. Keep going on! No matter what!
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post #18 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-13-2013, 02:10 AM Thread Starter
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I think I've struggled with more or less what you're talking about at least since I finished college nearly 2 years ago. To a lesser extent before that maybe.

With me though... I get the feeling I can't enjoy anything because I know I have other more productive things to do and the guilt and nagging feeling stops me from relaxing and living the moment enough to immerse myself properly in what I'm trying to enjoy.

It makes though in my case anyway I think. I need to get a job but the OCD and SA have made that complicated.

I have my moments now and then though. Very unpredictable though.



Yep, that's about how I feel in general most of the time.

No real highs or lows anymore much... that feeling of coming home from school tired and stressed and unwinding completely guiltlessly was great some years ago.



I was on Prozac for a while a long time ago, but I never thought it did anything good or bad. No relation to it in my case anyway.

Are you sure you're not just in a horrible monotonous routine that may be causing the monotonous feelings? Do you have a job? You seem to suggest that you don't and are doing nothing.

Granted... it could be quite a cyclical thing... but if normal people were doing nothing like that, they'd be feeling anhedonia and pointlessness too. Worth looking into the possibility that it's more caused by circumstances. Hard to break out of a routine like that though anyway.
Well you see, I have no feelings or any emotions... I mean, it's been so long I don't even know what they even mean anymore, or what it's like to have emotions/feelings. I just remember before taking Prozac, I was completely a different person. If you type in "SSRI Anhedonia", you'll see a lot of people are suffering from what I am... most people recover, however, so far I haven't.

From my point of view, I don't see the purpose of doing anything anymore. I see everything as pointless, and money means nothing to me anymore. I just don't care about anything anymore, everything is meaningless to me... and I know it's not right, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Nothing makes me happy/sad/mad, I simply do not feel anything. I'm in some sort of zombie state and I hate it. I miss the high's/low's and everything about life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Twigster View Post
I'm really not sure what caused it, but it might have to do with moving from place to place all the time when I was a kid and went to 13 schools until high school. And nobody was in the military.

I guess my brain got overwhelmed and became numb.

I don't feel like a person anymore. I recently tried Citalopram, but after 5 days I felt as if my body was panicking inside and my heart was beating rapidly so I stopped taking it.

What's the point of living like this? Is there any medication that can help?
I'm not a doctor or a psychiatrist, but to me, these mind altering drugs honestly can't be good for you. Unfortunately, I had to learn it the hard way (as always in life, if things couldn't get worst).

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Originally Posted by Freesix88 View Post
ALways had it to be honest. The meds make me more stable. I feel very little. Feel like some robot. Stimulants barely motivate me. Stress/bullying in my youth kinda kills the brain and I'm inside I'm barely alive. A process that can't be reversed it seems but I'm happy with who I am. I still have emotions, but I never express them. My social life is nothing, what about yours. Sorry to hear it anyway. Keep going on! No matter what!
I'm sorry to hear what you went through, but you see, you say you have emotions but don't express them... I have none whatseover. I'm in a complete, and flat out, zombie state that cannot be described. It is worst than physical pain... give me diabetes or some sort of physical illness instead of this emotional anesthesia/anhedonia that I am going through. This is simply inhumane... and I miss life. There was something magical and beautiful about life, but now, to me, everything is meaningless.

If you guys type in "Lost all my humanity, thanks bupropion" this guy is pretty much describing what I'm going through.

I'm not a professional (or an expert), but IMO, these "psychiatrists" who do absolutely nothing but sit on a chair, listen, not say a word, and then say "OK... I'll prescribe you this" writes your prescription, and off you go.

If you're a normal person just going through a rough time with situational problems, drugs will not help you, but screw you up real bad, maybe in the long term/permanent. These "psychiatrists" have no clue what these drugs even do to you. I'm not an anti-medicine person, but I wouldn't touch mind altering drugs ever again.

I'm just a fellow human being suffering from something that is inhumane... I feel like this is a living nightmare.

Suffering from SSRI induced Emotional Anesthesia/Anhedonia since 2009.

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post #19 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-13-2013, 04:12 AM
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Are you sure you're not just in a horrible monotonous routine that may be causing the monotonous feelings?
this.

The reason you stay at home / watch TV etc is because of SA. Are you sure you are emotionless? Are you doing something, seeing a therapist? I'm just saying the mind can be powerful at denying and coming up with justifications.

"I don't enjoy anything. So why should I even try?"

It also makes sense. How can you enjoy doing something when you have SA? I mean your exposed as soon as you leave your home even if you are not directly socializing. I tend to shut down emotionally as soon as someone is around me.

And then that is like anhedonia and having no emotions and you can get used to that state because it also hides bad feelings from depression.

Would you be here if you felt nothing? You feel bad don't you?
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post #20 of 47 (permalink) Old 01-13-2013, 04:42 AM Thread Starter
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this.

The reason you stay at home / watch TV etc is because of SA. Are you sure you are emotionless? Are you doing something, seeing a therapist? I'm just saying the mind can be powerful at denying and coming up with justifications.

"I don't enjoy anything. So why should I even try?"

It also makes sense. How can you enjoy doing something when you have SA? I mean your exposed as soon as you leave your home even if you are not directly socializing. I tend to shut down emotionally as soon as someone is around me.

And then that is like anhedonia and having no emotions and you can get used to that state because it also hides bad feelings from depression.

Would you be here if you felt nothing? You feel bad don't you?
Well no, I don't feel anything, I do know logically this is a living hell, and I feel like I am simply existing and NOT living. Honestly, I never even knew something like this was even possible... and if anyone tried explaining this to me before I had experienced this, I couldn't possibly imagine what it's like living like this, because it cannot be explained in words... however, the person who REALLY explains it very well what it's like, can be found here:
http://www.paxilprogress.org/forums/...ad.php?t=49034

Logically, I should have no reason to be depressed whatsoever. I have a beautiful family, a roof over my head, have a computer/tv, whatever...

You see, I would take SEVERE depression any day, then living in this state where it feels like I'm not alive, but I'm not dead. (DP/DR + Emotional Anesthesia + Anhedonia caused by Prozac). Severe depression would be a beautiful thing compared to the living death that I'm experiencing.

As for social anxiety, I don't have social anxiety... maybe before I took Prozac, I would be shy and a bit nervous meeting new people, but I think it's normal... I was a normal kid. I don't feel fear, I simply feel nothing. I could go up to someone and say the nastiest things possible, and I wouldn't feel a thing... I simply don't have fear. As messed up as this sounds, if someone was shooting at me (with a gun) I wouldn't even be scared to die... I would actually think I'm invincible and that I can't die... and that bullets won't effect me (how messed up is that?)

I honestly don't even feel like a normal human being anymore, and I just miss what it was like to feel like any normal person feels like.

Devoid (the guy who went through what I went through) explains it perfectly:

"With my self and emotions gone, life has been a completely non-existent experience. I spend literally all my time in bed and eating and have gained over 50 pounds. As the days and months pass, I am oblivious. I do nothing, yet I'm not bored.

The world is going by without me, yet I don't care. Because of this broken consciousness, no matter where I go or what I attempt to do, everything is a non-experience for me. Basic feelings about being alive that I always took for granted are no longer there. The concept and schema of summer along with everything it used to mean doesn't exist anymore, so the fact that it has passed me by doesn't matter.

If the area of my brain containing my personality, emotions, self, and psyche were a hard drive, it's as if someone has used KillDisk to format and completely obliterate its contents. None of those aspects of me exist anymore, and so in a very real way I don't exist. I can't "feel" anything towards this, because my capacity to feel has been completely destroyed. "

Suffering from SSRI induced Emotional Anesthesia/Anhedonia since 2009.

Currently taking:
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