What age did you first feel depressed? - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-19-2019, 07:12 AM
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Probably 8 or 9, though obviously I didn't know it at the time. It made me a very isolated, angry child, and I took that anger out on myself and everyone around me. My mother had multiple sclerosis and was mostly bed ridden until she died when I was 12. I constantly sabotage any chance of happiness for myself now, because of the guilt I feel for being such a horrible brat when I was younger.

If you were happy every day of your life, you'd be a game show host, not a human being.
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post #42 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-19-2019, 08:28 AM
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I was 14-15 when it was obvious to me and then I was first diagnosed. I've had times where I've been down or sad and don't know why when I was younger. I know there was a time where I'd cry myself to sleep for weeks or months or something, but I have no idea why when I was between 7-10. But for certain, when I was 14.
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post #43 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-19-2019, 02:17 PM
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I dont know. I was a happy kid I suppose but there was also an undercurrent theme of sadness. Around 9-10 I lost my best friend at school and that's when the lonliness kicked in. I felt true depression at 12...I was super suicidal and that's when everything went downhill.


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post #44 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-19-2019, 02:54 PM
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I dont know. I was a happy kid I suppose but there was also an undercurrent theme of sadness. Around 9-10 I lost my best friend at school and that's when the lonliness kicked in. I felt true depression at 12...I was super suicidal and that's when everything went downhill.
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post #45 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-24-2019, 08:20 PM
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I was 19 years old when I started to feel depressed. Just graduated High School and I always had trouble making friends and many people judged me. In HS, I was quiet and kept to myself so I guess they thought I was weird. It made me feel insecure due to bullying and people making fun of me. My social anxiety made me nervous and they saw me as a open target. This is why I've never judged anyone because I've been judged all my life.
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post #46 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-25-2019, 12:03 AM
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16 when it became severe. But because it was always there within me from a young age, I guess it was easier to cope with it because I wasn't alive long enough for it to rot my insides. I've never been that pre-16 year old me again.
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post #47 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-31-2019, 05:50 PM
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I was always a sombre and pessimistic kid, but severe depression didn't hit me until I was 12 years old. However, the depression I struggled with at that age didn't present itself through sadness and demotivation but through rage and hate. Disturbingly, my depression wasn't brought on by any traumatic experience; it came out of the blue. Currently, I am much better now and the depression I have as an adult, though it's hard, is more like a nuisance than anything else.
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post #48 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-31-2019, 07:21 PM
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The start of 7th grade. This is when my anxiety and depression started. It’s still going strong to this day!

Live life no matter what.. never quit you deserve better.
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post #49 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-31-2019, 07:29 PM
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When I was 9, first time the bullying started. I remember feeling alone even though I did have friends all day in school; these girls just randomly started picking on just me. I started to question what was wrong with me and it was just a downward spiral.
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post #50 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-01-2019, 12:19 PM
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When I was 9, first time the bullying started. I remember feeling alone even though I did have friends all day in school; these girls just randomly started picking on just me. I started to question what was wrong with me and it was just a downward spiral.
Kids are vicious. That's for sure. I feel like I kind of got lucky in that I did have some serious bullies later on but all the SA type stuff I had going on was already there long before school. I kind of expected to be bullied eventually and it didn't really actually happen until I was about 13. 6th grade was my year of hell.

I didn't really so much care what they said. I was just afraid of them.

/WYSD
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post #51 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-01-2019, 12:44 PM
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I was bullied by a narcissist when I was 13, for a couple of years. True bullies are disordered. I'd had bad experiences with people before that, but that was really bad, to the point where I thought about injuring that guy to the point where he was incapable of bullying anyone, tbh. Not long after it started I thought my parents were going to get divorced because of my fathers narcissistic abuse. All that really affected my development. What hope did I have? 13 and having horrible thought's while trying to go through puberty. It was hell. A lot of the other kids were a nightmare as well. Teachers all miserable and couldn't give a ****. Horrible place. Glad they knocked that hell hole down.
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post #52 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-01-2019, 12:48 PM
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I went to nursery once. I remember a kid pushing me off the slide and banging my head. Apparently I cried the whole time I was there (probably felt abandoned by my mother) and never went back. That's the first memory I have of someone hurting me.
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post #53 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-01-2019, 12:55 PM
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post #54 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-01-2019, 07:42 PM
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I'm going to say probably 12, is when. Although my anxiety started around the fourth grade.

Underneath the cold November sky, I wait for you... As the pages of my life roll by, I wait for you... I'm so desperate just to see your face, meet me in this broken place...

Be a little brave for a little bit of time.
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post #55 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-01-2019, 07:49 PM
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When I was 9, first time the bullying started. I remember feeling alone even though I did have friends all day in school; these girls just randomly started picking on just me. I started to question what was wrong with me and it was just a downward spiral.
Were the school or your family unable to help?
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post #56 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-01-2019, 07:59 PM
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Were the school or your family unable to help?
I never told anyone growing up. Only ones that knew were my school friends. My family still doesn’t know. I felt embarrassed I guess.
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post #57 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-02-2019, 10:08 AM
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I never told anyone growing up. Only ones that knew were my school friends. My family still doesn’t know. I felt embarrassed I guess.
I can relate to that, I was abused on/off by this one girl from about the age of 6 (to varying degrees.) and I didn't get away from her 100% until 18. Sometimes other students tried to help since they noticed and even got teachers involved a couple of times when I was younger, but I'd play it down because I was embarrassed about it. My parents never talked to the school but I think when I was 7 or so this other parent who gave me and my brother a lift to school tried to talk to teachers too but I can't remember what became of that (nothing evidently.)

I really didn't like the idea of having everyone's attention on me, so I just put up with stuff. I was essentially in a platonic abusive relationship for the majority of my life. I feel a lot of shame about it still, and don't like going into details.

I'm pretty sure this is why I became kind of schizoid.
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post #58 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-02-2019, 11:07 AM
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I really didn't like the idea of having everyone's attention on me, so I just put up with stuff. I was essentially in a platonic abusive relationship for the majority of my life. I feel a lot of shame about it still, and don't like going into details.
Exactly, I definitely did not want anymore attention from anyone since this person was clearly giving me plenty. I mean yea maybe the smart thing to do was tell an adult but I just wanted to be invisible at that point.
It went on from 3rd grade to end of 9th with this particular person and the only reason it stopped was because she was held back and didn’t advance with our class. (Only to be met with another bully in my sophomore year.)
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post #59 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-02-2019, 11:55 AM
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Maybe 10 or 11 - got bullied a lot at school, there were other things going on in life outside of school. It was a very lonely feeling but I always think the naivety of not understanding what the depression or anxiety was helped deal with it.

What would happen if you believed that you ARE enough?
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post #60 of 65 (permalink) Old 04-04-2019, 04:41 PM Thread Starter
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It's a shame so many people were bullied and how it's effected their lives into adulthood.

"It's a gift to exist, and with existence comes suffering. There's no escaping that."
Stephen Colbert
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