What age did you first feel depressed? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-11-2019, 06:26 PM Thread Starter
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What age did you first feel depressed?


I was in elementary school probably when it first hit. I was alone and bullied quite a bit and did feel suicidal. People commented on my low self esteem, and that was around the time when I first saw a psychologist at the school (who wasn't much of a help unfortunately). So I'd say about 11 years of age. Then it lingered off and on throughout school years and still does until today.

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post #2 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-11-2019, 06:33 PM
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Well I'm not sure it was depression when I was younger since I enjoyed my childhood but for as long as I can remember there's always been a tinge of sadness there behind everything. Even my happiest times and memories there was a sadness beneath it and it never really goes away. It's gotten worse as I get older. The sadness and this off feeling never really goes away even when I feel happy.
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post #3 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-11-2019, 06:57 PM
 
 
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Age 11 or possibly younger. My parents had an awful divorce, not to mention they had a really unhealthy relationship in the first place.

My parents divorced when I was 7. I didn't really understand what was going on until a little later. I just don't remember being younger than 10 very well, so I can't claim much about it. I do remember in 4th grade (age 9-10) I was starting to struggle in school and skipping my daily homework. So possibly around then.
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post #4 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-11-2019, 08:54 PM
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I think about 21 or so. I can remember being over in Perth and standing looking down into the Swan River wondering what the hell I was going to do. In other ways my life was actually okay - I was over there with my gf but I could tell something was very wrong with me.
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post #5 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-11-2019, 09:17 PM
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I was in elementary school probably when it first hit. I was alone and bullied quite a bit and did feel suicidal. People commented on my low self esteem, and that was around the time when I first saw a psychologist at the school (who wasn't much of a help unfortunately). So I'd say about 11 years of age. Then it lingered off and on throughout school years and still does until today.
I don't have depression but anxiety. I'm sorry to hear that you have depression and was bullied and felt suicidal! Wish you well
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post #6 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 12:25 AM
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probably second year of college

i just lived anxiously and ignorantly before that. i also had a couple friends. But by that second year of college i didnt really have anyone left and delved a lot more into my thoughts, and fell into that hole. was a rough 3 years that i still a constant pull that i feel would take me back down there if it could. sometimes i want it to, that 'give up' part of my mind.

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post #7 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 12:46 AM
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its hard to say. i wasn't very self aware - i was always anxious and confused as long as i can remember. i don't really remember what it felt like though. i was suicidal at 13, and not happy since 6 or 7. probably depressed? no one really acknowledged that i could have valid meaningful feelings until i was an adult and i definitely had no idea what that was all about.

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post #8 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 01:13 AM
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post #9 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 01:23 AM
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I have no idea but I was never very pleased with the world. I think the more I learned about how things are the more depressing it got.

/WYSD
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post #10 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 01:25 AM
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post #11 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 06:01 AM
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Not sure but probably around 10yrs old when my dad left, things turned sour very quickly. A toxic home environment, dread of school along with my horrendous shyness/anxiety soon made life zero fun. I slept as much as possible, dropped out of school before I turned 15 and then stayed in my room fantasising about the life I could never see myself having then coming back to reality and wishing for death.



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post #12 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 07:05 AM
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I think it must have been in high school when my life went to **** after changing schools. I had to go somewhere where I didn't know anyone and I was painfully shy. No one seemed to like me. I couldn't relate to anyone. It was the first time I was truly alone and hated it.

There were times in elementary school where I was alone but I just walked around and watched people. That wasn't really an option in high school. I was worried I'd get bullied so I kinda just stuck to one place.

But being alone in general at that age and time was a shock to me. I didn't know I was that horrible socially because I nearly always was with somebody I was familiar with and at least somewhat comfortable with. But when I suddenly didn't have that, it was really bad. I didn't "live" for years, I was only trying to survive.
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post #13 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 07:13 AM
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At 13 I constantly thought about killing myself.
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post #14 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 10:58 AM
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I think I was 16 when I first experienced severe depression. My mother told me, "Stop moping around the house and go clean your room."

That helped me a lot.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #15 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 01:08 PM
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I think around age 20 or 21. I was feeling really low then. I didn't know what to do with myself in life or what my life purpose was. {I still don't} I think it was a phase because it seem that as the years went by and after I started to build up my Faith in God I slowly started to get out of that low state of mind without being aware of it. My depressed phase seem to be over now because recently in the last 6 months I haven't had a depressed day. Even before the 6 months I had those days when I would feel really down. It seem that ever since my Family and I have moved to a whole new State in the US not only have my physical location had change drastically but also my mental and spiritual mindset. I also been thinking about the things I want in life since moving here. Creating ideas. Getting into the idea of Manifesting and Believing more in God and having Faith and Hope. Back then I wasn't doing this. Creating and manifesting. This caused my depression back then.
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post #16 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 01:40 PM Thread Starter
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I don't have depression but anxiety. I'm sorry to hear that you have depression and was bullied and felt suicidal! Wish you well

Thanks lily , it comes and goes but the psychological wounds are hard to heal.

"It's a gift to exist, and with existence comes suffering. There's no escaping that."
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post #17 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 02:11 PM
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8th grade. It sucked.
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post #18 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 02:24 PM
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I'm fairly surprised at some of the answers. I think "Life stinks" was probably the first coherent thought I was ever capable of. I guess I'm just kind of surprised to see people here who thought everything was fine for close to two decades.

/WYSD
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post #19 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-12-2019, 02:38 PM
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Never remember a period of not being depressed. My home was always sad, crazymaking, unstable and violent. My mom left really early on for a year. Both my parents are untreated mentally ill. I stayed with relatives that I've been told didn't treat me well.

There might have been a few months early on before little baby me realized no one was coming to help and life was hopeless and unsafe, but it set in pretty early. I look at pics from very young and I look very sad and disconnected already. The few clear memories I have from then are terror. Yea so I shut down/repressed/depressed my emotions really early on.

Miles to go before I sleep.

Know your ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score?
Sometimes, SA is a symptom of significant developmental, attachment or interpersonal trauma (emotional neglect counts). If you're still stuck after you've tried SA treatments such as CBT and exposure, research C-PTSD and see if it resonates. Here's an awesome resource. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
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post #20 of 65 (permalink) Old 03-13-2019, 12:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
I'm fairly surprised at some of the answers. I think "Life stinks" was probably the first coherent thought I was ever capable of. I guess I'm just kind of surprised to see people here who thought everything was fine for close to two decades.
personally, i was lucky on the family-front of life and had a good childhood. I was just shy till highschool, then the shyness turned to anxiety in high school, and all of that didnt pile up unhealthily till college. I'm simplifying some stuff a bit, but i'm just generalizing things. I'm sure if you asked high school me at some point i'd be "my parents SUCK!"...but yea..i just sucked lol

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