Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Staten Island, NY (Home, on my computer):P
Lately I've just been unsatisfied with everything, I don't even find joy in my favorite hobbies anymore. I keep trying to do drastic things to make me feel alive (like change my hair, clothes, makeup), but it's all fleeting. I am in a long-term relationship with someone I love, but it's no longer romantic, it's just a care and affection type of love. I feel lonely even when I'm with him and he's not so obsequious like he used to be when he was courting me.
I don't even want to hang out with my friends anymore, I'll find any excuse to say I can't make it. I feel misunderstood half the time whenever I open my mouth and I have no support. I've been off anxiety medication for about a year and a half now. It felt so liberating to be able to go out in public again and talk to people without panicking, but I feel like a slow regression is occurring now. I get depressed rather easily now, way faster then when my social anxiety was prominent. Is this a relapse? What's going on and what can I do to stop it? Is this perhaps something else?
I'm turning 21 in February, I know it's a long way off but I'm kinda scared I might become an alcoholic (I know that's such a weird thing to think about.lol) even though I don't have an addictive personality, hate the taste of alcoholic beverages, and the idea of drinking to ease pain in general. I might become something I'm disgusted by out of desperation. Any advice is welcome, I seem to gain clarity from differing opinions. Thanks in advance.