Unable to have Visitors - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-14-2019, 02:52 AM Thread Starter
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Unable to have Visitors

in summation, i am afraid to have people over because i feel exposed and like they are trespassing in my mind.

the reason is that i have 4 computers and,
1) since childhood, i have been very anxiously possessive of my computers
2) i store very personal data: my diary, controversial porn, gore pics etc.

i'm looking into encryption but i'm procrastinating on exactly how to execute it. this is because of reason 1 above, in conjunction with GAD (i.e: i'm terrified of breaking something (dat GAD lyfe)) because I can't live without my puters, and i'm terrified to improve myself because dat GAD lyfe).

i've had people over many times (~50 times since 2011 - usually 1-3 ppl, one time had like 20 ppl over), and at those times i always just log into a different account, but it seems weird since I never "have time" to configure those accounts to my preferences, so it always feels icky having people over. especially because i know that a lot of people actually do snoop. i don't let people use my phone either. can't trust people not to view my camera roll or read my email.

i haven't had a visitor in 3 years now. don't know how i'm supposed to be dating or have friends if i can't invite people over.

i'm brain wrong....
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-14-2019, 06:45 AM
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these after hospital rehab - my home rehab

clever people? PSYYY chohhhloggyyy?
fiddle with people's minds? giving orders what to do?
they start practicing on themselves?

they teamed in pairs or lone
that 'Help' N/A! a bit nice when lonely, no employment. in hospital interacting with patients & staff 24/4

home preferred, but lengthened lonesomeness

visits mutually agreed.. no need. i video'd us chatting

i like goinngg OUT! ? to someones office.. clinic? to INspect me?
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-14-2019, 07:17 AM
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I haven't had company over in two years or so. Most people I know don't even know where I live. Really see no need to have people over though. Plus I always disliked people dropping by unexpectedly, so just never having anyone over to begin with prevents that.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-14-2019, 09:23 AM
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I don't have any friends so it goes without saying that I don't have any visitors.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 07:16 AM
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Could you put passwords on your computers and make a guest account so if they ask to use one (which Iím sure they wouldnít) they wouldnít see anything?

I donít have anything like that on my computers, but Iíve still always hated anyone using them.

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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 07:52 AM
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It seems like work to maintain friendships, and sometimes that's a drag.

But sometimes I want to express myself and to be understood. At those times, I want an old friend, whom I've known for years. Someone with whom I can talk about life and feelings.

But it's like if you don't do the work of maintaining a friendship, you don't have access to the benefit of having another person who at least halfway understands you.

So I want friends, but do not want to do the work of maintaining them. If you expect them to be there for you, when you need a friend, then you must be there for them, even when you need solitude.

The upshot is, that I think I have to become interested in the lives of those who I would like to have as friends. I think that normally social people have keen interests in the lives of others. I don't know why. I guess it seems that nobody has a life that is any where near as interesting as my own, LoL. But I'm probably just self-absorbed.

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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 03:10 PM
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Why would you be leaving them unsupervised to browse your computers, anyway? Does that ever happen? Granted I've hardly ever had anyone over, but nobody has ever asked to use my PC or phone.

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"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'" ― Kurt Vonnegut
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 08:02 PM
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I live alone and haven't had any visitors in years, but that's mainly because I have no friends to invite over.
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 08:35 PM
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I've got stuff on my computer I don't want other prople seeing. I use a program called Folder Lock. You can hide folders and they only become visible after you input a password.
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 09:40 PM
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If you have people over, have them focus on an activity away from your computer
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-16-2019, 01:09 PM
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What's this "having visitors" thing? Last time I had anyone over was ... about 15 or so years ago. (Not counting family or repairmen.)

For forty-seven years I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming ... but how?
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-16-2019, 02:01 PM
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Was never a big issue for me, I don't think I've had anyone over in some sort of social fashion since I was a child, 20+ years, my siblings had people over sometimes of course.

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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