in summation, i am afraid to have people over because i feel exposed and like they are trespassing in my mind.
the reason is that i have 4 computers and,
1) since childhood, i have been very anxiously possessive of my computers
2) i store very personal data: my diary, controversial
porn, gore pics etc.
i'm looking into encryption but i'm procrastinating on exactly how to execute it. this is because of reason 1 above, in conjunction with GAD (i.e: i'm terrified of breaking something (dat GAD lyfe
)) because I can't live without my puters, and i'm terrified to improve myself because dat GAD lyfe
i've had people over many times (~50 times since 2011 - usually 1-3 ppl, one time had like 20 ppl over), and at those times i always just log into a different account, but it seems weird since I never "have time" to configure those accounts to my preferences, so it always feels icky having people over. especially because i know that a lot of people actually do snoop. i don't let people use my phone either. can't trust people not to view my camera roll or read my email.
i haven't had a visitor in 3 years now. don't know how i'm supposed to be dating or have friends if i can't invite people over.
i'm brain wrong....