Took A Shower Today - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 1064 (permalink) Old 11-15-2009, 02:23 PM
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It's encouraging to see that you are still trying. I would add a shave on the second shower. That should help synchronize times. It's easier to shave after a shower.

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post #42 of 1064 (permalink) Old 11-16-2009, 02:00 PM
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Hi helpless,

stick with it and keep posting. We'll support you where we can.

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post #43 of 1064 (permalink) Old 11-16-2009, 02:10 PM
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^^ Ditto


Sometimes I feel as though my mind and body are two seperate things. It's my body that doesn't want to do anything. My mind does.

When I have to get things done I remind myself that I am my mind and that I'm not going to let my body stop me from doing things.

Hope that makes sense.

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post #44 of 1064 (permalink) Old 11-20-2009, 01:04 PM Thread Starter
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Well, I shaved, showered & shampood today, the second time this week, the first time being Tuesday, 3 days ago.

Going to reception in memory of a deceased person, so I wanted to be clean.

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post #45 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-03-2009, 12:16 PM Thread Starter
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Well, I shaved, showered & shampooed today, probably first time since last post of Nov. 20. Had to get up early in the morning, and hated that.

Had to see a supervisor on my job, and was worried about making a bad impression with my horrible clothing, even tho I was clean, but I think the meeting went well.

I do need to get some decent clothes, tho.

I just have no idea at all of how to shop for clothes, and dread the thot of doing it.

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post #46 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-03-2009, 04:20 PM
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Glad to see you've been steadily progressing.
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post #47 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-04-2009, 12:57 PM
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I've almost given up on showering because it makes my dandruff worse. I only do it when I have to to keep the smell at bay and wash some dirt off.
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post #48 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-04-2009, 10:39 PM
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Helpless, I was reading your posts with interest. I know so little about this and was wondering if that's generally what happens with SAs. I'm sorry you're going through this. I was so relieved to see one of your later posts asking if anyone has the opposite problem that you have.

I'm getting much better, but I used to over-shower and over-wash my hair. It wasn't really OCD, because it wasn't constant, but I always felt like I was dirty and smelly. I'd shower in the morning and a couple hours later, I wished I could shower again. I'd have to force myself to wait until evening. You can imagine that my skin was very dry so I'd have to lotion myself and then I'd feel oily. It was kind of a vicious cycle. For the past several years, I stick with one shower a day. That's all I allow myself.

Does this spill over into every aspect of our lives?
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post #49 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-04-2009, 11:10 PM
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It can, but this seems to be more a sign of depression rather than OCD. Anxiety fuels depression and the depression fuels the anxiety - the vicious circle. Depression brings lethargy, not wanting or feeling one can handle things, and then the frustration over why one can't do it.

We just have to learn to accept ourselves at the present moment.

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post #50 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-07-2009, 02:41 PM Thread Starter
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Angie,

I am OCD, and OCDs often are contradictions, who can be extremely neat & orderly in one area of their life, while being filthy & disorderly in other areas of their life.

Years ago, I felt that a room I had processed photos in had become chemically contaminated, so I had a special set of clothes to be worn only in that room, which I would burn in the fireplace & get a new set of clothes only for wearing in that room.

Needless to say, a thorough shower & shampooing was necessary after going into that room (or, any other place where I might become "contaminated" and need a "decontamination").

At that time, I might sometimes shower 3 times a day or more, but I seldom did laundry, and afterward would put on my "uncontimainated" but seldom laundered clothes, which had a lot of perspiration odor on them.

We OCD people are real contradictions, aren't we?

A Agree with milliennumman75 that not bathing is a symtom of depression.

Today, I seldom do anything where I need special clothes & a deconontamination shower, and with my depression being so severe, I selcom am able to make myself bathe.

Living the life of an SA can be extremely depressing, & I think many SAs are depressed, but with a good reason, not like those people who are depressed for no reason, while everything seems to be going well for them in life.

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Originally Posted by Angie View Post
Helpless, I was reading your posts with interest. I know so little about this and was wondering if that's generally what happens with SAs. I'm sorry you're going through this. I was so relieved to see one of your later posts asking if anyone has the opposite problem that you have.

I'm getting much better, but I used to over-shower and over-wash my hair. It wasn't really OCD, because it wasn't constant, but I always felt like I was dirty and smelly. I'd shower in the morning and a couple hours later, I wished I could shower again. I'd have to force myself to wait until evening. You can imagine that my skin was very dry so I'd have to lotion myself and then I'd feel oily. It was kind of a vicious cycle. For the past several years, I stick with one shower a day. That's all I allow myself.

Does this spill over into every aspect of our lives?

Once An SA, Always an SA
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post #51 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-07-2009, 03:54 PM
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The SA fuels the depression.....the vicious cycle. It can wear one down.

Helpless - keep trying, man. You will get there.

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post #52 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-08-2009, 03:58 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by millenniumman75 View Post
The SA fuels the depression.....the vicious cycle. It can wear one down.

Helpless - keep trying, man. You will get there.
Thanks for the encouraging word, millenniumman75.

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post #53 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-09-2009, 01:04 AM
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I hope you're doing better helpless. I truly know how it feels as I have major depression and chronic SA, plus other issues relating to inferiority, perfectionism.

I'm in a state of depression and reclusiveness at the moment. Averaging 16 hours sleep a day. Different things trigger it. As MM said, it's a vicious circle/cycle.

Right now I'm so utterly depressed that I wish I was dead. I have so many suicidal thoughts when im laying there in bed but it's futile because I know I'll never do it or purposely harm myself. My way of harming myself is laying in bed, in the dark, not eating or drinking.

There are so many things a typical 27 year old man could've achieved. Undertaken university and post-grad studies. Travelled the world. Had an awesome social life and gone to many parties. A stable job, long term r'ships. Slept with some of the hottest women.

Alas, my life is a joke and a waste. There's no way out. It sucks, I suck.

I know how it feels...
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post #54 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-09-2009, 03:29 PM Thread Starter
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Makaveli, thanks for the post. You're 27, so just imagine yourself feeling the same thots you & I are both feeling, but I am 58 years old!

I don't want to die. I want to live as long as I can, and as long as I am alive, there is still a slim & none chance I can do something with what's left of my life, altho time is rapidly running out for me.

It doesn't seem likely, but I am still living for that slim chance that something might change for me, and maybe there is also a slim chance for you to live for.

After we are dead, there is no chance at all, not even a slim chance for us to do anything with our lives.

One thing that really overwhelmes me is how dependent modern social life is on machines, and electronnic devices, and how these devices so often malfunction.

Again, thanks for the post, and don't give up!

Keep living for the slim chance you can still do something with your life, like I am doing, with 31 more wasted years than you have so far.

Quote:
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I hope you're doing better helpless. I truly know how it feels as I have major depression and chronic SA, plus other issues relating to inferiority, perfectionism.

I'm in a state of depression and reclusiveness at the moment. Averaging 16 hours sleep a day. Different things trigger it. As MM said, it's a vicious circle/cycle.

Right now I'm so utterly depressed that I wish I was dead. I have so many suicidal thoughts when im laying there in bed but it's futile because I know I'll never do it or purposely harm myself. My way of harming myself is laying in bed, in the dark, not eating or drinking.

There are so many things a typical 27 year old man could've achieved. Undertaken university and post-grad studies. Travelled the world. Had an awesome social life and gone to many parties. A stable job, long term r'ships. Slept with some of the hottest women.

Alas, my life is a joke and a waste. There's no way out. It sucks, I suck.

I know how it feels...

Once An SA, Always an SA
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post #55 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-09-2009, 11:22 PM
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eh, I still prefer to do a lot of stuff without machines. I get laughed at because I used text-based email readers. I don't need pictures or colors - get to the point.
It also keeps my mind sharp - that is the most important part.

You still have time, Helpless, but don't focus too far into future quite yet. It cam easily overwhelm you if you are depressed at the moment. Wait until it lifts a bit. Right now, make some plans . It willl make you feel like you are accomplishing something.

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post #56 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-10-2009, 03:07 AM
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Thanks for the reply helpless. We're all in this together friend. I'm feeling alot better than earlier this week but it's a constant battle with my mind and thoughts.

When there's life there is hope I guess
We just need to remind ourselves of this fact.
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post #57 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-10-2009, 02:04 PM Thread Starter
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Glad you are feeling better, Makaveli.

I have been a little more active lately, & have taken a little more interest in some of the things I used to enjoy doing but haven't felt like doing lately.

Quote:
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Thanks for the reply helpless. We're all in this together friend. I'm feeling alot better than earlier this week but it's a constant battle with my mind and thoughts.

When there's life there is hope I guess
We just need to remind ourselves of this fact.

Once An SA, Always an SA
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post #58 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-10-2009, 02:41 PM
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Quote:
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When there's life there is hope I guess
We just need to remind ourselves of this fact.
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post #59 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-10-2009, 03:32 PM
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Hello I'm new and was reading this thread I don't have OCD but I am horrified that you cannot shower for weeks. I have gone 3 maybe 4 days and depression 4 sure is the reason. I'm not in anyway criticizing you or anything like that but cannot even begin to understand not showering for that long and you did say you work how do you manage to work without showering for that long. Do you work from home? I'm just curious and I'm here to help anyone if I can and hopefully get some help myself.
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post #60 of 1064 (permalink) Old 12-10-2009, 09:32 PM
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I let go some basic hygiene, but i just wont completely stop showering, I got to, its just about being clean. But I don't trim my beard and make it as neat as many, i usually wait until a month and half to get a hair cut, at that point i need it, but other than that i don't let myself get to that.

Don't do it to look good, do it because its healthy, and you can feel good physically,, like less stress after a good shower, helps some with SA.

Nz fzft bsf judiz!!!!
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