So here I am, another friday night in front of the computer. Only this friday, instead of mindlessly droning away at some online video game, I decided to get wasted so I could feel some relation to my old friends who are no doubt doing the same, except they're surrounded by their new friends which theyve gained through an ability almost mythical to me: networking. I've done this before, constantly sipping vodka while stalking their myspace and facebook profiles...wondering what my life could have been.

I've lurked on this board for some time and have only now mustered up the guts to be able to post after drinking half a liter of Five'o'Clock. When I'm sober and think about posting, I know most of the world is too busy to worry about my problems, so I never bother. I'll no doubt regret this in the morning, but then it will be too late.

But here I am! The emboldened drunk! That said here is my question for my fellow SA'ers...do you also get that feeling of approaching normality after you've had a bit to drink? Right now I wish this could last forever. I've already had the audacity of making a myspace of my own and sending invites to all my old friends. It feels good right now to almost be normal but I know undoubtedly I'll later grimace and wish I'd never done such a thing.

Maybe this will force me to be social in a way? I dunno. Imagine that. Alcohol as a therapeutic substance.

Hi there KidIcarus, yes I know exactly what you mean. I wish there was a way to keep that initial buzz going... if you don't keep drinking, you turn back into a pumpkin, so to speak. You keep drinking, you end up with a massive headache and an empty wallet next morning, or you end up making a total fool out of yourself which only makes you more apprehensive about being around the same people.

Looking at people's Myspace profiles can be depressing. I don't know why I do it.

As far as drinking goes, I like it. The problem is that I easily drink too much and get sick. It may have something to do with me not eating enough. I've spent way too much money on alcohol, though. I should really stop buying it.

YES!

Drink yourself normal

I don't really like the taste of alcohol though, so i will spend an eternity taking little sips to get a good buzz going.

When I'm drunk, I am less inhibited and I feel zero anxiety amongst a crowd. But I find that I still have a hard time holding conversations with people. I'll be all over the place, making silly & random comments...which is exactly what you'd expect a drunk person to be doing. So while it does make me more outgoing, it also makes me look like a fool

Im kinda the same way. I now view alcohol as a demon drug even though I continue to use it for now. This is because as most of you know it is excellent at eliminating anxiety.

Unfortunately a whole host of other problems usually comes with drinking. Medication such as benzodiazepines may be worth looking into if you are tired of the stigma attached with drinking. They act on many of the same receptors as alcohol but they dont work quite as good. The drawback of this, as well as alcohol, is that they are very addictive and tolerance builds rapidly.

With all this in mind, the drug Marijuana is the most promising drug for me because I believe it will help me live a happier and less worrisome life in the long run. I was doing quite well using the drug until I got busted. Unfortunately this means that I will not be able to use the drug for at least a year and after that I will doubt that ill have any contacts anymore.

So a solution I am thinking of is to move to California and apply for a Medical Marijuana card. Ricky Williams, the former football player, did the same thing. It seems that if your problems are severe enough, this could be a viable option to you as well if Marijuana works on you too.

Well, come take my place then. Come get your medical card or whatever. My friend won't let me leave here. Just try to make yourself look like me. Get here by tommorow morning and just be laying down in bed, dressed as me, when she gets home.. see how long you last. You'd love it. You could sit inside all day, smoke pot, play with the cats, take a raft on the river into downtown. The Thai restaurant down the street constantly smells like marijuana, as in every single time I walk by it. They probably put it in the food. So, there you go. You're all set. Get on out here so I can go home.