Spiritually deprived derealisation - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-23-2014, 12:12 AM Thread Starter
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Spiritually deprived derealisation


I've had derealisation before but my spiritual awareness still remained the same. Now not only do I feel like im not even here anymore my spiritual awareness has gone too. Spirituality was all that mattered to me, without it I have nothing of interest in life. I used to be aware of my dreams, moments of sleep paralysis and deep meditative states but now they barely even register to my awareness. I feel like im stranded out at sea, surrounded by nothingness
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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-30-2014, 04:36 PM
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been there. Wonder why this is occuring with you though?
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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-30-2014, 04:47 PM Thread Starter
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thanks for the reply peach, it truly baffles me
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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-30-2014, 05:20 PM
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Hi, I am new but I just had to respond to your post as I am amidst something similar myself and it is a total mystery where it came from. I am trying the fake it until you make it school of coping but so far no joy. I am so sorry this is happening and I wish you all of the luck in sorting it out and reconnecting with that part of you life again.
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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-30-2014, 05:22 PM
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I've had derealisation before but my spiritual awareness still remained the same. Now not only do I feel like im not even here anymore my spiritual awareness has gone too. Spirituality was all that mattered to me, without it I have nothing of interest in life. I used to be aware of my dreams, moments of sleep paralysis and deep meditative states but now they barely even register to my awareness. I feel like im stranded out at sea, surrounded by nothingness
I doubt I've experienced this even close to as much as you have, but I've experienced enough of it to know it sucks. :/ I hope you recover. Keep at it.

You might be able to find more people who have experienced things like this well enough to give you advice in the spirituality subforum.
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-30-2014, 06:19 PM Thread Starter
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Hi, I am new but I just had to respond to your post as I am amidst something similar myself and it is a total mystery where it came from. I am trying the fake it until you make it school of coping but so far no joy. I am so sorry this is happening and I wish you all of the luck in sorting it out and reconnecting with that part of you life again.
Thanks, what are you experiencing exactly, I feel just my perceptions are dampened but my last meditation would seem that not to be the case. While I still don't feel as sharp and as aware in this state, for the first time I began seeing random images briefly and what seemed like i was looking over a small portal. As I focused on it, it expanded which startled me, I don't know what is going on right now
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I doubt I've experienced this even close to as much as you have, but I've experienced enough of it to know it sucks. :/ I hope you recover. Keep at it.

You might be able to find more people who have experienced things like this well enough to give you advice in the spirituality subforum.
Thanks and yeh didn't really think this one through when posting it in this category but I'm contempt with the responses I have now
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-30-2014, 10:34 PM
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So you get visions?? Like me or no.

Can you project, or no? because it is something, and it is affecting you anyways. (not many people will reply to what they haven't experienced themselves)
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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-01-2014, 11:44 AM
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Thanks, what are you experiencing exactly, I feel just my perceptions are dampened but my last meditation would seem that not to be the case. While I still don't feel as sharp and as aware in this state, for the first time I began seeing random images briefly and what seemed like i was looking over a small portal. As I focused on it, it expanded which startled me, I don't know what is going on right now

Thanks and yeh didn't really think this one through when posting it in this category but I'm contempt with the responses I have now
Right now it feels like I am locked in, stuck in my head as opposed to the expansive, more connected, experience I used to have. I feeling like in am I am wading through tar, this is even the case when I meditate. I have a few brief moments of clarity then the fog roles back in and I am back to being locked in my own head. It is really frustrating and is making me doubt my previous spiritual experiences. I feel like my best bet is to just keep moving forward and eventually I will sort this out.

I am glad you posted, even if you had not thought it through, it is good to know that others have the same issues and how they are handling them.
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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-01-2014, 01:19 PM
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I'm s**ually deprived and I realised this long, long ago.
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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-01-2014, 07:10 PM Thread Starter
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Right now it feels like I am locked in, stuck in my head as opposed to the expansive, more connected, experience I used to have. I feeling like in am I am wading through tar, this is even the case when I meditate. I have a few brief moments of clarity then the fog roles back in and I am back to being locked in my own head. It is really frustrating and is making me doubt my previous spiritual experiences. I feel like my best bet is to just keep moving forward and eventually I will sort this out.

I am glad you posted, even if you had not thought it through, it is good to know that others have the same issues and how they are handling them.
That really does sound like me, it's like your spiritual element just packed up and left. Do you have severe depression at the moment?

Yeh it helps to know others are struggling through it, that way you may be able to help them in some way too and vice versa.
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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-02-2014, 05:04 AM
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Could it be that your anxiety and other social crap that expose you to the "outside" world, lessen your interest in spiritually? because that's usually how it works..
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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-02-2014, 05:49 PM
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That really does sound like me, it's like your spiritual element just packed up and left. Do you have severe depression at the moment?

Yeh it helps to know others are struggling through it, that way you may be able to help them in some way too and vice versa.
Yes, and I definitely feel like that is a part of it but it has not ever previously had this particular manifestation. I have never felt quite so cut off before and I know part of it has to be me getting in my own way but I have no way of figuring out how to stop doing that. It is frustrating and a little maddening. I have people in my life, family even, who have this connection and belief that does not get shaken no matter thier situations but I can not seem to find that certainty in myself right now. I am envious of thier belief- thier faith, even if that faith is in something I do not believe in myself.
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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 12:46 AM Thread Starter
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Yes, and I definitely feel like that is a part of it but it has not ever previously had this particular manifestation. I have never felt quite so cut off before and I know part of it has to be me getting in my own way but I have no way of figuring out how to stop doing that. It is frustrating and a little maddening. I have people in my life, family even, who have this connection and belief that does not get shaken no matter thier situations but I can not seem to find that certainty in myself right now. I am envious of thier belief- thier faith, even if that faith is in something I do not believe in myself.
That was the same for me, it never budged even with my severe depression. It wasn't until my patience with my reality began its gradual decent. Slowly different parts of my awareness began to fade and return then eventually disappearing completely. Now I'm left with nothing, I feel so empty, so blind but I also realised recently that this is the worst my depression has ever been.

Don't be envious, I don’t feel faith or a belief to be the problem. It's something we have to urgently work on in ourselves. I think when the brain is so out of balance it cannot keep all our senses and abilities online.
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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-03-2014, 07:49 PM
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That was the same for me, it never budged even with my severe depression. It wasn't until my patience with my reality began its gradual decent. Slowly different parts of my awareness began to fade and return then eventually disappearing completely. Now I'm left with nothing, I feel so empty, so blind but I also realised recently that this is the worst my depression has ever been.

Don't be envious, I donít feel faith or a belief to be the problem. It's something we have to urgently work on in ourselves. I think when the brain is so out of balance it cannot keep all our senses and abilities online.
Exactly! My own patience with my reality is pretty non existent at the moment. I just wish I could figure out how to get my brain back in balance. Previously my sense of spiritual connection was my way of finding my way back to my center whenever i would get lost but now it's like I am adrift without a compass or any idea where I am, let alone how to find my way back to where I was. Or even if going back to where I was is even an option anymore.

I guess that is part of the solution, accepting that going back is no longer an option and i have to find a new direction to evolve into. Where that may leave me now I don't really know, but I hope that maybe if I figure out how to reframe the questions I am asking of myself I will find new answers. Until them it's mood boosting supplements and mediation to attempt to get me through the worst of it until I can change my current situation to something less likely to add to my depression.

In the end I guess we have to remind ourselves that when things seem the worst is often when the break through happens.
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-04-2014, 12:07 AM Thread Starter
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Exactly! My own patience with my reality is pretty non existent at the moment. I just wish I could figure out how to get my brain back in balance. Previously my sense of spiritual connection was my way of finding my way back to my center whenever i would get lost but now it's like I am adrift without a compass or any idea where I am, let alone how to find my way back to where I was. Or even if going back to where I was is even an option anymore.

I guess that is part of the solution, accepting that going back is no longer an option and i have to find a new direction to evolve into. Where that may leave me now I don't really know, but I hope that maybe if I figure out how to reframe the questions I am asking of myself I will find new answers. Until them it's mood boosting supplements and mediation to attempt to get me through the worst of it until I can change my current situation to something less likely to add to my depression.

In the end I guess we have to remind ourselves that when things seem the worst is often when the break through happens.
You could on medication or you could get to true cause and heal yourself. I saw a healer who done some work on me and provided me with positive healing affirmations. Normally that would work for most of his clients but for me it was not enough, sometimes people need further support.

I'm seeing that healer again with another person he arranged to be present on the day. I hoping there will be some great change or advancement soon. You won't go back you will move forward past your previous state once you've overcome this, providing you address the root cause.
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post #16 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-08-2014, 09:13 AM
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You could on medication or you could get to true cause and heal yourself. I saw a healer who done some work on me and provided me with positive healing affirmations. Normally that would work for most of his clients but for me it was not enough, sometimes people need further support.

I'm seeing that healer again with another person he arranged to be present on the day. I hoping there will be some great change or advancement soon. You won't go back you will move forward past your previous state once you've overcome this, providing you address the root cause.
Right now the supplements are necessary for me. My general anxiety level is so high right now that my life feels like one long persistent low grade panic attack that never ends. Fun times. So I take fish oil, b complex and kava to take the edge off of it so I can actually do the work necessary to fix myself. Which of course means therapy, mediation, and unpacking a life time of not dealing.

I have never had much luck with healers or energy workers, I am not sure why that is. I have friends who have had great results but for me it just hits a wall and has very little effect. It's funny I am very good at, or at least I used to be, at reaching out to the universe, but letting anyone influence my own personal energy has been pretty impossible. If I were a star ship I would say my shields are set to maximum at all times. Have been this way for almost as long as I can remember.

That said I wish you nothing but luck and success with your healers. I hope they are able to help you sort this out.
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post #17 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-08-2014, 09:32 AM
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Interesting way to put it. I feel the same. Spirituality is a personal thing that is hard to depict to others. I think because I'm lacking severely in all social aspects, the one thing I felt I had innate within me is dying off too. Maybe look at mooji teachings on Youtube, it can really help you get back to the core centre, however if like me you are lacking so much in all areas of life and isolated, keeping that inner peace is easy forgotten. Maybe you need to get more into your body and out of your head. Personally I want to change so much in life but I have found it quite impossible. Apathy and depression consumes me.
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post #18 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-08-2014, 03:20 PM Thread Starter
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Interesting way to put it. I feel the same. Spirituality is a personal thing that is hard to depict to others. I think because I'm lacking severely in all social aspects, the one thing I felt I had innate within me is dying off too. Maybe look at mooji teachings on Youtube, it can really help you get back to the core centre, however if like me you are lacking so much in all areas of life and isolated, keeping that inner peace is easy forgotten. Maybe you need to get more into your body and out of your head. Personally I want to change so much in life but I have found it quite impossible. Apathy and depression consumes me.
Depression is a killer to the mind, body and soul; it makes sense that it has that effect on us. Work hard on resolving that and you will find things begin to shift.
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post #19 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-08-2014, 03:44 PM Thread Starter
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Right now the supplements are necessary for me. My general anxiety level is so high right now that my life feels like one long persistent low grade panic attack that never ends. Fun times. So I take fish oil, b complex and kava to take the edge off of it so I can actually do the work necessary to fix myself. Which of course means therapy, mediation, and unpacking a life time of not dealing.

I have never had much luck with healers or energy workers, I am not sure why that is. I have friends who have had great results but for me it just hits a wall and has very little effect. It's funny I am very good at, or at least I used to be, at reaching out to the universe, but letting anyone influence my own personal energy has been pretty impossible. If I were a star ship I would say my shields are set to maximum at all times. Have been this way for almost as long as I can remember.

That said I wish you nothing but luck and success with your healers. I hope they are able to help you sort this out.
Good, no doubt with all the extra stress you would need those supplements to replenish and support you.

Me neither until I saw this one, once i saw his card i knew why. He is a shamanic soul warrior, the experience spoke for itself. You got to be careful so it's a good thing you've had your shields at maximum. Some healers aren't pure and work with dark forces, I've been a victim of that. You must use your intuition to sense their energy, it's unlikely that a shaman would be of any concern though.

Thank you, I hope you do too, it's just a matter of finding the right one as with anything. I'm not sure what level you are at with healing but the session I had with him was finding my lost soul fragments, instead of him doing it, I did, he merely guided me. It was incredible, the bright light and the emotions that soul fragment emitted. It's restored how I was feeling before that part of me separated.
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