yesterday i come across this wiki article - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoi...s_and_symptoms
- and it instantly shock and fascinate me, I kept researching for hours. I always viewed my disorder manly through the social anxiety, but reading this I came to the conclusion that it is only a part of it.
Social anxiety has a big role in schizoid personality disorder.
I think this could be to intrest to others that are coping with SA. Alot of people in this forum which are slient but do read this forums.
I am one of them, and writing this post is pretty hard for me, because I am not a person who shares any personal stuff with others, not even 1st-grad relatives. I find it very difficult to talk about emotions in gerneral no matter positive or negative.
I realized a lot that was always there but I didnt see it up until now. Looking in the internet for other people with SPD is very hard, because this people are not likely to share, it's not that there are so few of them but like schizophrenics they dont realize their issue and even if they most likely dont open up about it. For me SPD is like SA on crack and I dont mean to play down SA at all. Because even if I overcome my fear of SA, Im still not able to have a normal conversation because of my fear of intimacy, holding back emotions and talking very formal and artificial.
Reading this yesterday was for me like getting smacked in the face.
I think this posting is boring, very selfish and trivial, without any "content", and that I am giving up a part of myself sending it, im going to do it anyway, because Im told this is the normal thing to do. So embaressing, uncomfortable. I want to tear up myself.