So how do you get out of depression? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
Thread Tools
post #21 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-12-2019, 06:30 PM
Socializing with myself
EmotionlessThug's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: New York, Westbury
Language: English
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Posts: 4,831
I concentrate on the issue around my environment that is reoccurring and learn from the way its directed at me to make me feel uncomfortable in my environment.

Multi-Agent Quantum AI Computers governing citizens 24/7 using Quantum Cryptography Satellites to run a thought interval to generate cryptographic keys to refresh key information into thoughts to channel the communication 24/7.

NSA Software Engineers & NASA computationally remapping buildings, jobs, relationships, wealth, education, and income using bio intelligence system to manage citizens time & events. Getting away with airplane crashes, accidents, diseases, homelessness, and suicides.
EmotionlessThug is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #22 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-13-2019, 04:31 AM
Skygrinder's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Land of Potatoes
Language: Serbian, English.
Gender: Male
Age: 29
Posts: 427
My Mood: Fine
Just stop being stuck. I was forced to change things due to my circumstances. I'd literally die if I didn't. Like it was pretty bad (as in near starvation bad), and I was at the bottom of the pit.

I don't know what it is that is making you depressed, but I guess it doesn't really matter. You need a change in every sense of that word, just like I did. I think that's true for anyone that suffers from depression.

It will be a year soon since I've gotten a job and that's when things started improving. Of course, there were ups and downs, but how I've felt was ALWAYS better than how I've felt when I was jobless and just wasting away here on these forums.

Here's a little comparison

Me from a year ago: Anxiety to even go outside of the apartment, strong phone anxiety, scared to ask questions, not trusting anyone (very much focused on bad in people), giving quick yes/no answers in order to avoid longer conversations with people, pathetically low self-esteem, No energy to do anything that I want to do, and of course, depressed.

Me these days: Went to a public pool with hundreds of people there and I've enjoyed it very much yesterday, Taking fencing training in 5 days from now (It's free for a couple of weeks, and then you can join the club, which I probably will), Job's going well (on a 2 weeks vacation now), and I have the energy to do things that I want to do and learn new things that I've always wanted to learn, I can call numbers and ask about things over the phone without any feeling of anxiety (phone anxiety was a huge problem for me, stemming from low self-esteem and not liking the sound of my own voice, so overcoming this was a huge victory for me).

There's of course still things that are a problem, but I'm working on it and improving every day. Talking with people obviously being the hardest thing for me. I'm doing a lot better than before, but it's still not on a level that I want it to be.

So anyway tl;dr, here's my suggestion for you

I know you said you've tried working out, but keep at it. Also eat healthy and get sunlight. And this shouldn't feel like a chore. It might at the beginning, just like every new habit that you're trying to add to your life, but just stick with it. You might want to use "HabitBull" app, it helped me develop some good habits that I wanted to.

I would also recommend you read The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden. (I honestly think every single person on this planet should read this book)

Remove negative people from your life, especially if you have those that speak out openly on how they don't think that you can achieve something that you want to achieve. Your vision of the future for yourself is very important, so don't let anyone smear it for you.

In case you don't have a vision (dream), you need to define it for yourself, because you need something to drive you. Don't expect to walk this earth aimlessly and stay happy.

One sort of mantra, well, I'm using it as a mantra, but it's really something that you need to start believing. It's that "No matter what you say or do (socially), you will be fine". It's easier said than done, of course. But think about it, and sort of internalize it over time.

On your path to self-improvement, you'll probably have ups and downs. Say you start working on yourself and in two months something happens and you fall a bit, at that point just try to stop and then ask yourself "Alright, I'm feeling REALLY bad right now, BUT am I feeling better or worse than I did 2 months ago when I started this?". This has stopped my depression from resurfacing countless times.

If you don't cut corners and actually work on yourself for 2 months, it's highly unlikely that you won't be in a better position than where you were before you started. So when these little falls happen, and you ask yourself this question, it will sort of stabilize you and keep you going.

And just to be clear, I'm not saying that you have some of these issues that I've had and still have (some of them). What I'm trying to say is that change is important in order to deal with depression. At least in my experience.
Skygrinder is offline  
post #23 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-13-2019, 05:01 AM
Barbells and kittens
JH1983's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,609
I went through some true rock bottom type experiences that changed my perspective. Then started working hard to improve myself and my life.
Posted via Mobile Device
JH1983 is offline  
post #24 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-13-2019, 09:57 AM
SAS Member
millenniumman75's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Dayton, OH
Gender: Male
Age: 45
Posts: 153,972
My Mood: Angelic
Depression is definitely a mindset that fuels the low feeling. It's a pattern of thinking. Sometimes, it takes medication to get things jumpstarted, but it's about finding something positive and focusing on's been mentioned in this thread.

You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!


(troll activity on the increase)

millenniumman75 is offline  
post #25 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-13-2019, 10:02 AM
SAS Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Maryland
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,133
Originally Posted by freedom00 View Post
A near death experience pulled me right out of it, but I can't really suggest that as a methof of therapy.

Previously I'd dip in and out of it and can't explain why at some periods I'd be happier.
Is there anything short of a near death experience that you think would work? What did the near death experience teach you? I wonder if there is anyway to duplicate the effect without nearly dying?
chrisinmd is offline  
post #26 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-13-2019, 03:00 PM
SAS Member
ShotInTheDark's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Lithuania
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Posts: 1,398
My Mood: Sleepy
Very "simple" - I don't...

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
I'll put drunk raccoon in my signature as well, because I CAN...
ShotInTheDark is offline  
post #27 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-13-2019, 09:24 PM
Permanently Banned
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: paraspectral_semireality?
Gender: Other
Age: 33
Posts: 5,787
Originally Posted by chrisinmd View Post
Is there anything short of a near death experience that you think would work? What did the near death experience teach you? I wonder if there is anyway to duplicate the effect without nearly dying?
DMT, ayawaska.
Posted via Mobile Device
versikk is offline  
post #28 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-14-2019, 10:14 AM
SAS Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by chrisinmd View Post
Is there anything short of a near death experience that you think would work? What did the near death experience teach you? I wonder if there is anyway to duplicate the effect without nearly dying?
It put everything into perspective for me, simply being alive gives me a chance at anything, when you have something you take for granted taken away from you, you start to appreciate everything more. Just waking up and seeing the sun was amazing, drinking coffee, going for a walk despite having nothing else - no job, friends or prospects no longer bothered me.
Obviously the high of having your life back doesn't last forever, but the appreciation for everything still lasts, I don't compare myself to others so much anymore and therefore don't feel worthless or depressed.

I don't know how you could simulate this feeling exactly but I would imagine being sent to boot camp would have the same effect. I read a story a while ago that there were these military style disciplinary camps that parents send their spoiled out of control kids to, their beliefs and world views get rattled so hard they come back as angels who appreciate simple things like comfort and not suffering.
That being said, I don't know how a depressed person who react to being in a survival environment, I'm not suggesting it but just thinking of an idea with similar concepts!
freedom00 is offline  
post #29 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-14-2019, 01:20 PM
SAS Member
hwtryan's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 75
My Mood: Sad
All of these ideas are great, but I'll add one as well.

I try to find successes in the little things.

You made your bed this morning? Give yourself a pat on the back.
You made yourself some toast? Excellent, congratulate yourself.

You made it through traffic and all the way to work? Great job. Give yourself a hug.
You made it through the day and back home? Super, treat yourself to something you enjoy.

It sounds silly written out like that, but you've just got to find the joy in life, no matter how minute it may be. That works for me anyway. I hope it can help you too.

"You're going to fail a lot. Sometimes you'll fail over and over again, but you have to keep trying every time. You can't give up just because there is a chance that you might fail." - Dante Basco
hwtryan is offline  
post #30 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-14-2019, 01:54 PM
SAS Member
AbbasGreen's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Australia
Language: English
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Posts: 129
I feel also Depression can be unique to the individual feeling it. For example Depression seems like a really broad term. Every depressed person has their own situation why they are depressed. Maybe another person can share some of the same reasons. But we are all different including our circumstances. One person may have had a loss. Another may be in financial difficulty. Maybe someone just has really low self esteem or can't seem to get out of a cycle of thinking or confusion. Each requiring a different approach. Depression seems to be just a general form of pain and whenever there is pain you need to respond to it. What does the pain say? What is it trying to communicate to me? Pain always communicates something. It's a healthy signal of the human essence. It give us some awareness or motivates us towards some change. Changing my attitude towards the feeling of depression and seeing it as a gift to motivate me to change really helped me.

It's really good to start with what's in your heart, list your problems, confusions and questions or whatever and go through them. For me it was a combination of what was going on inside and actions to make changes or respond to these issues in the best way possible. Heaps of support, education helped. It also helps to get serious about it and take an organized approach. Even the action of writing down what's going on inside to process it feels like you are making progress because you are. And progress feels great. You will feel like you are doing something about the depression instead of letting it persist. That feels exciting. You may feel better immediately because you are gaining momentum (things are changing).

It also helps not to let negativity creep in. Whatever form it is in. Choices, bad company, music etc. I know it seems like oh yeah that won't do anything but it is actually extremely helpful. Invite positive things into your life.

Time, patience with the pain and positive action are your friends with depression.
AbbasGreen is offline  
post #31 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-14-2019, 05:42 PM
Quit: Spam filter lmao
Kiwifruit's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: MN, US
Gender: Female
Age: 31
Posts: 115
Therapy, a better diet, more self-esteem, better coping mechanisms, less time sedentary (even after exercise). It's really not a simple process. The meds don't work for everyone and were really iffy for me back when I tried.
Kiwifruit is offline  
post #32 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-17-2019, 12:48 AM
SAS Member
Gorgoroth9's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 175
I stayed single by sheer force of my mediocre looks, personality, and overwhelming shyness for nearly 30 years. I've been in a relationship for about 3-years and I'm already feeling depressed again. I don't know what to tell you, but that my peer groups have always been as rickety as the ones you've just described. I don't think most social groups are meant to last. They seem to deteriorate, and not necessarily for bad reasons. People move away, change jobs, get engaged, and variables just change. Don't take it personally, and do what anybody does who wants to meet new people and get out there however inevitably awkward that process is always bound to be. Good luck. Life sucks, but I dunno- just keep plugging along and you'll be dead soon. Hooray!
Gorgoroth9 is offline  
post #33 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-17-2019, 10:44 PM
SAS Member
mrpaperheart's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2019
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Posts: 46
My Mood: Lonely
I feel like this is a common thing. I feel like we live in a day and age where it's hard to really find people to truly bond with, whether you have social anxiety or not. SA kind of makes things even more complicated. Like you long for friends, yet there is this huge fear. I, too, feel alone, especially when I'm at church. There's like this strange sense of sadness. I probably say this a lot, but you're not alone here. I often read other people's thoughts, and I can relate to them. It's so easy to compare yourself to others too. I hope that you feel better soon.
mrpaperheart is offline  
post #34 of 42 (permalink) Old 05-22-2020, 03:09 AM
SAS Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 2
I know exactly how you feel with the loss of friendships and problems with depression throughout the years.

Iíve been working from home since 2017 and, even though I am engaged and we have a son, I get lonely due to lack of friendship outside the home. What Iíve been taking, and please forgive me if someone has mentioned this already, is vitamin d3 daily. Because of my surgery, I have to take it but Iíve noticed its other tremendous benefits as well (like warding off depression). I take 10k units daily but you should talk with your doctor first to see how you can implement this vitamin into your diet. Iíve heard of people getting off their antidepressants by gradually increasing the dosage of this vitamin every week (I.e. 1-2k units daily for week 1, 5k units daily for week 2, etc.).

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
WiseBeauty is offline  
post #35 of 42 (permalink) Old 05-22-2020, 07:38 AM
SAS Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 182
hey have you ever heard about mental health clubs....i think theyre great places to go to meet nice understanding, humble people.....i a member of one and think theyre greta places to meet folk and possibly develop friendships.....mental health clubs are places where mentally ill folk (yes that includes social anxiety sufferers) can go toparticipate in craetive writing, art, yoga, group therpay to name but a few activities or else just drop in for a coffee and a i said these places are good to go to.....if you think social anxiety does not qualify you enough for membership, just say you have depression as well

also there are social anxiety support groups (self help) out there, i found out abou tthem on just google it
irishkarl is offline  
post #36 of 42 (permalink) Old 05-22-2020, 01:07 PM
long hard times to come
hayes's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 294
hayes is offline  
post #37 of 42 (permalink) Old 05-22-2020, 05:21 PM
Wilco Tango Foxtrot!
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Northern BC
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Posts: 3,777
Originally Posted by hayes View Post
^---I've been on...wait gotta check ..k I'm back 75 mg of Effexor XR daily and it's been the only one that works (*edit* works with my brain chemisty). Being on a crew of super supportive people also helps but I've been on so many antidepressants throughout the the years to find one that works is a game changer. It takes a bit to kick in but when it works it works. There is a downside though and that is when you don't take it for 2 or 3 days you'll feel "off." I don't know how else to explain the feeling.

Having said that I've read that tapering off them is a pain in the cunning linguals!
MCHB is offline  
post #38 of 42 (permalink) Old 05-22-2020, 06:31 PM
Persephone The Dread's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: I've come to burn your kingdom down one ****post at a time
Language: Eng (UK,) 下手な日本語
Posts: 39,990
Well there is one way.

Some people heard my words and thought it meant they knew me
Truth is, I don't exist, I'm just a soundtrack to your movie
Some background figure in a story that's already scripted
And what I feel's just felt for you to hear me ****ing spit it
I jump in many different heads through these words and poems
Always hoping maybe the next leap'll be my leap home

Persephone The Dread is offline  
post #39 of 42 (permalink) Old 05-23-2020, 08:09 PM
Greasy prospector
blue2's Avatar
Join Date: May 2013
Location: The salty spitoon
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,947
My Mood: Lurking
Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
Well there is one way.
Getting a pet spider ?

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
blue2 is offline  
post #40 of 42 (permalink) Old 05-24-2020, 10:10 AM
SAS Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 373
I think, if it's a "real" depression, you will almost be incapable of taking any initiative! You need good help from someone and possibly initially some meds to see the light at the end of the tunnel again!

Unfortunately the word "depression" seems to be increasingly used when feeling down or like crap.
Like "flu" for any cold or flu-like infection.

To overcome a depressive-like phase I found it extremely helpful to take a longer break from the hamster wheel of life. Doing everything at my own speed again. Concentrating on nice things, that makes one feel good.

I personally find nature extremely healing, too! Going for walks, even if you have to drag yourself outside! Feeling the elements and becoming part of nature is great for grounding yourself and getting a clear head!

I also found surrounding myself with positive, active and motivated people that simply accepted my presence and didn't demand or expect anything of me very uplifting and motivating. Although, at the beginning I tend to find them annoying!

But things often do take time with up and downs!
GermanHermit is offline  

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome