So how do you get out of depression? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-03-2019, 05:46 PM Thread Starter
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Been depressed lately.


I've been depressed and lonely lately. Just think been thinking about the fact that I used to have friends that I would hang out with, but after the link/or place that held the group together was gone and we stopped hanging out. They pretty much forgot about me and don't talk to me anymore. This has happened multiple times over the years and it never changes. Nowadays most of the people from the groups I used to hang with are already married and I'm still alone and don't have friends. Honestly I think it's going to be the same way with the church group I hang out with now. I can already see signs of it happening. They already don't talk to unless it's inside the church group other than that, silence.

I've also been dealing depression and loneliness off and on for about 13 years now probably even longer. But I tried going to a bunch of different psychologists and tried different depression meds but nothings really helped at all. I still have my times where the depression isn't as intense as other times, sometimes to point where it doesn't feel like it's effecting me, but still enough that it's draining of my energy on top of being a introvert. Either way I've tried a lot of different things and nothing really has been helping.

So it's basically the usual worrying about being alone forever and never getting married, or apparently having any friends. I'm defiantly a introvert and love my alone time but I need people in my life too, but at the same time people can be annoying to deal with. Not really sure what to do.
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post #2 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-03-2019, 05:50 PM
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sorry to hear you're a bit down. life can be pretty tough sometimes

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #3 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-04-2019, 09:14 AM Thread Starter
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And another couple of old friends that's totally forgot about me just got engaged...
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post #4 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-04-2019, 09:57 AM Thread Starter
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So how do you get out of depression?


Like I said I've been depressed lately. I've been dealing depression for off and on for over 13 years and things really don't seem to get be getting any better. I've tried exercise, nothing, depression meds nothing, basically nothing I've tried has worked. I'm not sure what to do or how to fix things and make things better.
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post #5 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-04-2019, 11:15 AM
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Therapy? The ones I know are CBT and ACT. I'm not sure if depression is something we can ever completely get rid of but maybe some therapies can help ease it.
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post #6 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-06-2019, 08:32 AM
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A near death experience pulled me right out of it, but I can't really suggest that as a methof of therapy.


Previously I'd dip in and out of it and can't explain why at some periods I'd be happier.
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post #7 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-06-2019, 03:50 PM
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How long did you try those things for?
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post #8 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 04:35 AM
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Ayahuasca therapy
Mdma therapy
Psilocybin therapy
Lsd therapy


This video describes an interesting perspective:
Posted via Mobile Device
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post #9 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 05:08 AM
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Wordz????


1
it
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U
wot
do
what
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out
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around
which
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GETHOW???

HOWGET???

use words with many syllables!!! how many eyes u got??
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post #10 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 05:17 AM
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Depression happens when you don't feel like doing anything. I don't have too much experience with it, but those few instances when it happened, it always helped significantly to focus on something. I could try a new hobby, go to a new place, read a new book, etc. - anything to shake up the routine.

If your depression is chronic, then I would assume that you haven't found the things that make you really happy. Try out various things you've never done before, and see if anything rocks your world!
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post #11 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-07-2019, 08:58 AM
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Depression is a belief in certain things as being true, even though they are not true.
Therefore, you have to disbelieve those things which you chose to believe in.
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post #12 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-08-2019, 11:19 AM
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Cliche - but keep yourself busy. This could be in the form of work or other projects you could do.


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post #13 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-08-2019, 11:46 AM
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idk in my case I'd say social capital and making an effort help

I guess I seldom had real depression depression. it lasts for a few months and then goes away. I suppose that's just the blues. so maybe my answer is invalid.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
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post #14 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-08-2019, 01:15 PM
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Definitely not booze I've conducted extensive studies.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #15 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-08-2019, 02:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freakingout View Post
Like I said I've been depressed lately. I've been dealing depression for off and on for over 13 years and things really don't seem to get be getting any better. I've tried exercise, nothing, depression meds nothing, basically nothing I've tried has worked. I'm not sure what to do or how to fix things and make things better.

Hi freakingout. I'm sorry to hear that your depression has lasted this long. I too was depressed for like 8 or 9 years so I know how it can feel. Maybe my experience can offer some suggestions if I know a bit more about your experience.
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post #16 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-08-2019, 02:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by freakingout View Post
Like I said I've been depressed lately. I've been dealing depression for off and on for over 13 years and things really don't seem to get be getting any better. I've tried exercise, nothing, depression meds nothing, basically nothing I've tried has worked. I'm not sure what to do or how to fix things and make things better.

Also as a general answer I can give an analogy. If you look at a simple life form such as a plant. When there is no rain or water provided to it you can see that it expresses it's need for water by having dry leaves etc.



Similarly when humans have a problem they also express their pain which you done in this post.



In addition to water, plants also need sunlight. So you can see their needs are multiple and in some ways complex. But the human being is much more complex than a plant.


From my experience I realised that my recovery was based on responding to my needs in healthy ways and these needs were multiple. For example:


* I logged mood changes, their reasons and whether they were positive or negative.
* I looked inside myself and made a list of my problems etc. Then I went through them slowly

* I had financial issues so I had to sort those out
* I needed to consult a professional that I was comfortable with to steer me in the right direction especially when I felt like I was stuck
* I personally like long walks in the sunlight so I did that and I would see that I felt calmer and the seriousness of my issues felt lighter. I felt more optimistic about solving them
* I had to resolve inner conflicts


So from what you can see above it was many things. I was actually pretty depressed but I recovered. I think it also helps to look at it as an exciting project or journey and give a positive vibe to it.



I hope that helps.
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post #17 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 01:42 AM
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Music is the only thing that helped me. I would of killed myself sooner if I didn't had music.
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post #18 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 02:01 AM
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What meds have you tried? SSRIs etc? I would suggest looking into trying a MAOI if you haven't already. What have you got to lose?
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post #19 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-09-2019, 09:18 AM
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typing "bikini haul" into a youtube search
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post #20 of 42 (permalink) Old 08-12-2019, 01:24 PM
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I posted an answer to your question but I have some more info to add, which may help you.

The first thing you need to discover is that depression is not a brain condition, or an illness or anything biological, nor is it something that "happened to you" (or to anyone else) by something that is external to your mind.
What we call depression is a self-created form of suffering (as all suffering is). Suffering is mind pain, as opposed to physical pain, which is not suffering, although people do mix these things up, such as when they are physically hurt in a car accident, for example.

Your suffering is most likely to have come about because you have come to believe in (and given attention to) certain thoughts, such as beliefs, opinions, stories, narratives, ideas, what others have said, or done, and/or other thoughts.
So to end your depression, you need to ask a couple of questions about each thought that comes to your mind, and then when you see that each thought is not true, you can then choose to disbelieve it.
Ask how do I know this thought is true?
Where is the evidence?
Is this thought a fact that is indisputable?
Please note that evidence has to be something that exists in reality, not what exists in your mind.
So, evidence is only what you can see, hear, touch, taste and smell.

Do this short process for every thought you have, no matter what the thought is.

I'd recommend that you write each thought down when it comes to you and then when you have time, you are alone, without any noise and distractions, attend to each thought.
You can give as much time as you wish to your thoughts , but its best not to rush through the questions.

You might be asking yourself, "What happens if I find out that the thought is true and valid?".
The answer to that is you won't find any thought you have to be true or valid or find any evidence for it, as all thoughts all false and invalid. You will not find any actual evidence, for any thought, belief, idea, opinion, etc., because thoughts only exist in the mind and not in reality. Thus, all thoughts only exist because people want them to exist.

Please note that when I use the term thoughts, it means non-functional thoughts only.
Functional thoughts are OK and do not cause any suffering.
Functional thoughts are those that serve a function/purpose, such as "What shall I buy at the grocery store?", or "What shall I wear today?", or "What route should I take to go to....", or "How do I fix....", etc.

Once you start to see that each thought is only true because you came to believe it to be true, you will begin to feel your suffering reducing. You can of course continue to believe something is true, even after you have proved to yourself that it is not true. This is your choice and so in this sense, suffering is a choice.

Please be sure that nothing outside of your mind (this includes people and what they say/think and do, plus all kinds of relationships with people), events, circumstances, job/no job, money/no money, location, your age, the past) can cause you to suffer. By the same token, nothing outside of your mind can bring you happiness and peace. Both are an impossibility.
You can easily see for yourself that this is true, when you ask "Is everyone with one or more of these things free from suffering? Do people who have, say, $100K, $500K, $5 million, etc, stop trying to make more money? Do professional sportspeople stop trying to win games and championships when they get their first one? Do people who own a home/car stop wanting a larger one, a "better" one, a second one?
No, they don't because they believed that getting any of those things would bring them happiness/peace. or some other belief.
When they attain that goal, they get a intense and short shot of pleasure. But this does not last and the excitement soon fades. Just like a new toy for a child does. Thus, they think "I need to get more/bigger/better", etc.. and so they go on to aim for some new goal and so the cycle repeats.

I can send you links to videos that may also help you to understand the above.
PM me if you want the links.
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