Shy Bladder problem - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-23-2010, 09:32 PM Thread Starter
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Shy Bladder problem


Hey everyone,

I don't know if someone already posted a thread like this or not, but here it goes.
I have had shy bladder ever since i was like in 5th grade. It began when i got frightened from going to the bathroom and the urinal looked way different than what i was used to using.

Well my shy bladder used to be really bad where i couldn't pee. Now I can say it got a little bit better where I can pee at times when i go alone without anybody else that I know personally going with me and there are strangers in the bathroom, then i can pee. I am 23 now.

But recently I had to take a drug test for work, and man was that hard for me. My solution was to drink a lot of water until i couldn't hold it anymore to the point that when i was sitting down, I almost peed in my pants.

In the future I am pretty sure that I might have to take the drug test again for work, and that is what i am worried about.

Basically my problem is shy bladder is making it difficult for me to pee while im at work.

For instance, when i go eat with coworkers, I have a hard time peeing because my mind keeps thinking they are timing me on how long it takes me to use the bathroom.

Does anybody else have shy bladder and how have you dealt with it? Any suggestions to helping shy bladder would be appreciated.

Thanks.

By the way, I am a guy. I don't know if that matters.
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post #2 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-23-2010, 10:19 PM
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This happens to me to. Since men can't pee when they're erect my secret fear is that other men will think I can't pee cuz I'm gay and hot for them. Which then leads to more anxiety about peeing and creates a feedback loop.
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post #3 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-23-2010, 10:31 PM Thread Starter
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This happens to me to. Since men can't pee when they're erect my secret fear is that other men will think I can't pee cuz I'm gay and hot for them. Which then leads to more anxiety about peeing and creates a feedback loop.
Oh...I see, I guess people with shy bladder's all have different fears.
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post #4 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-24-2010, 01:19 AM
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Yeah i have this too......usually i can deal with it ok but drinking alcohol makes it much worse i find. If i go to a bar or pub i often have to make an excuse to go outside so i can piss in a bush or alleyway as i often cant go even if i go into the cubicle

Pretty hard to feel good about yourself when simply taking a piss poses many problems.
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post #5 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-24-2010, 04:41 PM
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I've never dealt with Urinals, but if there're people in the room I cannot pee. No matter how hard I try and beg my bladder to empty the feeling goes away and nothing comes out.
But of course after I give up and leave the rest room the urge returns then I feel 100x more embarrassed for having to walk back to the bathroom to see if it's empty.
I pretend that I don't use public restrooms because they're dirty; but it's a flat out lie.
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post #6 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-24-2010, 11:52 PM Thread Starter
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I've never dealt with Urinals, but if there're people in the room I cannot pee. No matter how hard I try and beg my bladder to empty the feeling goes away and nothing comes out.
But of course after I give up and leave the rest room the urge returns then I feel 100x more embarrassed for having to walk back to the bathroom to see if it's empty.
I pretend that I don't use public restrooms because they're dirty; but it's a flat out lie.
Yea. It's like the anxiety just creates a stop to being able to pee when people are around. I talked with my dad, and he told me he used to have shy bladder too. He said he overcame it by thinking that he was the only one in the bathroom and there was no one else in there with him.

Well it's easier said then done. It hasn't worked for me yet because you really need some strong mind power to do that.

Well this method helps me at times. Hope it helps in your case. Try to think that people in the bathroom come and go. They pee and go, so most of the time they won't stay long enough to notice that you are using the stall for a long time. Just think that you can take as long as you want to pee in the public bathroom because most of the strangers that go in the bathroom will not stay long enough to even notice that you are still in your stall.

I hope that helps.
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post #7 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-24-2010, 11:56 PM Thread Starter
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Yeah i have this too......usually i can deal with it ok but drinking alcohol makes it much worse i find. If i go to a bar or pub i often have to make an excuse to go outside so i can piss in a bush or alleyway as i often cant go even if i go into the cubicle

Pretty hard to feel good about yourself when simply taking a piss poses many problems.
Drinking alcohol makes me want to pee like crazy. Yea, I know. I find it hard to feel good about myself too when just peeing is a problem.
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post #8 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 12:09 AM Thread Starter
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This happens to me to. Since men can't pee when they're erect my secret fear is that other men will think I can't pee cuz I'm gay and hot for them. Which then leads to more anxiety about peeing and creates a feedback loop.
Maybe you can try peeing in a stall if you can to eliminate that fear.
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post #9 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 06:34 PM
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I have this too. But I am a girl so I don't know if my situation is different. When I'm in a stall and someone is in a stall next to me, it is very hard for me to pee. Not because I'm afraid that they will hear me, but just because they are there. I also get UTI's and kidney infections usually every month. I am very prone to them and sometimes it makes peeing hard.

And I find it kind of funny;
I find it kind of sad ;
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had;
I find it hard to tell you;
I find it hard to take;
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad World.
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post #10 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 06:52 PM
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I had to post this.
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post #11 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 06:52 PM
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Having a shy bladder does indeed suck. It happens to me sometimes. Lsst time I had to get my blood drawn I had to give a urine sample too. And I just couldn't pee. I tried for like 20 minutes. And it sucked because they wouldn't take my blood work without the urine sample as well, they said they needed both at the same time. Luckily they gave me a take home cup. It also sucks because I am on Suboxone and every 6 months I get a pee test. I have to drink like 3 water bottles before I go and sometime's it barely works. And the worst of the worst if you're at work (i'm not working right now) and someone's in the stall and you go to the urinal and you can't pee. The other person's waiting for you to leave and you got nothing. I would just flush the toilet even though I didn't go, wash my hands, and leave. God, why the hell did you give all this **** to me?
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post #12 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 07:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Yao4545 View Post
Yea. It's like the anxiety just creates a stop to being able to pee when people are around. I talked with my dad, and he told me he used to have shy bladder too. He said he overcame it by thinking that he was the only one in the bathroom and there was no one else in there with him.

Well it's easier said then done. It hasn't worked for me yet because you really need some strong mind power to do that.

Well this method helps me at times. Hope it helps in your case. Try to think that people in the bathroom come and go. They pee and go, so most of the time they won't stay long enough to notice that you are using the stall for a long time. Just think that you can take as long as you want to pee in the public bathroom because most of the strangers that go in the bathroom will not stay long enough to even notice that you are still in your stall.

I hope that helps.
hah, thanks Yao. I wish people could see my whole fiasco while sitting in the stall. I pretty much close my eyes, rock back and forth, and I do pretend I'm alone.
I have a low success rate :-/
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post #13 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-25-2010, 08:59 PM
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This happens usually when I have to give a urine sample for drug testing. There was this one instance last year when they required all incoming first year nursing students- there were 80 of us- to give a urine sample. Thing was, we couldn't take more than 3 minutes each to do our thing and we had to fill the cup up to a certain point. It took forever. When it finally was my turn, I went in the stall, got pretty grossed out at all of the urine splashed on the seat and on the floor (I'm kind of a germaphobe-ok, I know urine is sterile, but still), cleaned the toilet seat as best as I could, panicked because of the time and the other people behind me waiting to go, and just...froze...I couldn't empty all the way. I managed to get a few drops out, but that wasn't enough. Can you say near panic attack??!!! It was so embarassing to go back to the man and tell him I couldn't go potty. I was the only person out of 80 EIGHTY people, for crying out loud, who couldn't perform. Luckily, the man who supervised us was really nice and told me it happens sometimes and to take a break, drink a coke, and come back when I was ready. So I went downstairs, did what he said to do, and came back for a do-over. Thank goodness, I finally went.

Where am I going and why am I in this little handbasket?
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post #14 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-30-2010, 07:45 PM Thread Starter
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This happens usually when I have to give a urine sample for drug testing. So I went downstairs, did what he said to do, and came back for a do-over. Thank goodness, I finally went.
Wow...seems your situation was worse than mine. I was not timed when i had to do the drug test. Well I went in the bathroom and I couldn't pee, so I told the person that was working at the place that I couldn't go pee. She called her manager and she told me that there was nothing that she can do, and that i had to pee in their bathroom. So i called a relative and talking to him kind of relaxed me, then I drank a lot of water to the point where i felt that I was going to pee in my pants just sitting down. Soon enough, I peed like easy.

I think for now im gonna buy this book and hope it helps.
http://www.amazon.com/Shy-Bladder-Sy...0544211&sr=8-1

Here is another book directed only at women.
http://www.amazon.com/Bathrooms-Make...0544211&sr=8-2
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post #15 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-30-2010, 08:05 PM Thread Starter
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Having a shy bladder does indeed suck. It happens to me sometimes. Lsst time I had to get my blood drawn I had to give a urine sample too. And I just couldn't pee. I tried for like 20 minutes. And it sucked because they wouldn't take my blood work without the urine sample as well, they said they needed both at the same time. Luckily they gave me a take home cup. It also sucks because I am on Suboxone and every 6 months I get a pee test. I have to drink like 3 water bottles before I go and sometime's it barely works. And the worst of the worst if you're at work (i'm not working right now) and someone's in the stall and you go to the urinal and you can't pee. The other person's waiting for you to leave and you got nothing. I would just flush the toilet even though I didn't go, wash my hands, and leave. God, why the hell did you give all this **** to me?
Yea. I feel your pain man. I did the same with flushing the toilet when i didn't even go yet. I also asked the same question to god. lol.
Well that's kind of a relief that they allowed you to use a take home cup. For my drug test about 2.5 weeks ago, I couldn't do that. I had to pee at the place.
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post #16 of 31 (permalink) Old 07-30-2010, 08:14 PM
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I don't have this problem but actually know a couple of people who actually have the opposite problem and can't control their bladders. Either way it sounds terribly frustrating.

As far as I know, shy bladder problems dont have any stigma attached, do they? Because if it's too hard to do these tests I might just tell the person doing the urine testing and then they can maybe give you a break or be more patient. Is this something you would be comfortable with?

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post #17 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-02-2010, 12:12 AM
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I find simply counting or doing basic math in my head takes my mind off the anxiety, but this solution might not work in more severe cases...
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post #18 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-02-2010, 12:26 AM
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hmm, that situation is probaly better than mines. SA gave me a over active bladder. I was peeing on myself everyday almost during panic attacks. That brought so much and embarrassment and insults that I started going to school only maybe one day a week for most of the school year. I'm going to college now and I'm worried that I'll be pissing myself all over again.

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post #19 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-12-2010, 10:42 AM
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More information about recovery from shy bladder


There is a continuum among those who suffer from shy bladder syndrome (paruresis), ranging from mild to severe. Some people may have trouble initiating a stream of urine from time to time; for them this situation is little more than a nuisance or mild inconvenience. On the other extreme, someone with a severe case feels intense anguish about going to the bathrooms when other people are around.

In any case, recovery from shy bladder is possible, The most effective way of treating it has been through the use of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT). For some, this method of treatment has been enhanced by the use of medications and/or breathing, breath holding and relaxation techniques.

The fail-safe solution is to learn to catheterize yourself, which, if instructed properly in its use, is not hard to do.

For further information, please visit the website of the International Paruresis Association, a nonprofit organization, at www.paruresis.org. Here you will find a tremendous amount of information, including how you can sign up for a recovery workshop.

Female shy bladder sufferers are encouraged to go to www.bathroomsmakemenervous.com. Free recovery workshops for women will be held in Fall 2010 in 3 cities, Chicago, Baltimore & LA.

Carol Olmert
"The Princess of Pee"
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post #20 of 31 (permalink) Old 08-16-2010, 08:19 PM Thread Starter
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For further information, please visit the website of the International Paruresis Association, a nonprofit organization, at www.paruresis.org. Here you will find a tremendous amount of information, including how you can sign up for a recovery workshop.
Dang...the price for the workshop is $595 for first timers if you register a month ahead. For a non-profit organization, they sure do charge a lot.
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