Should I compliment my colleague's hair? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 01:41 AM Thread Starter
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Should I compliment my colleague's hair?


I want to lift her mood a bit.

She has body issues and tons of anxiety. But I don't want to make her uncomfortable. She has trouble accepting compliments and praise because low self esteem, and perfectionism.

I would love to receive compliments myself. And she actually HAS complimented my jewelry and clothing a few times... So I should be OK to do it right?
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 02:11 AM
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Be a little bit careful. But should be fine, depends how its delivered and context, and whether it's extremely unusual for you. Women I have complimented always give me a little look for a long time afterwards. They remember it I suspect. They were random ppl I didn't know, however.

Safer compliments are those further away from body.

traits (intelligence, creativity) -> clothing -> body

Probably fine though. Better if you can make it flow better, say, asking where she gets her hair done because you like it and are looking for someone to cut yours, or something.

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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 03:43 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks Bob


I love you

My plan was to use words that aren't easily misconstrued as sexual implications and Yada Yada
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 05:53 AM Thread Starter
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Update :

She said "thank you, how nice of you"
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 06:04 AM
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This thread can be about your attempts to lift her mood.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 07:36 AM Thread Starter
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This thread can be about your attempts to lift her mood.
It's funny because I could definitely post about that pretty often lmao
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 07:40 AM
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It's funny because I could definitely post about that pretty often lmao
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It would be a fun thread and educational for some.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 05-14-2019, 09:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
Be a little bit careful. But should be fine, depends how its delivered and context, and whether it's extremely unusual for you. Women I have complimented always give me a little look for a long time afterwards. They remember it I suspect. They were random ppl I didn't know, however.

Safer compliments are those further away from body.

traits (intelligence, creativity) -> clothing -> body

Probably fine though. Better if you can make it flow better, say, asking where she gets her hair done because you like it and are looking for someone to cut yours, or something.
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Originally Posted by versikk View Post
Thanks Bob


I love you

My plan was to use words that aren't easily misconstrued as sexual implications and Yada Yada


....unless you trigger her secret hair fetish. She could be "into extensions" that you don't know about.

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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-11-2019, 10:29 AM
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I have complimented female colleagues jackets and hair colourings. If you say it in a proper way, it's always well received.
The hair colouring one led to longer conversation because I have vaguely been thinking about dyeing me hair too. So I was wanting to know some background info from a current "hair colorour" but while also complimenting that person.

Another female colleague of her own volition called me handsome the other week.

Waiting for a beam to break through here,
A chain-way vision bright and clear,
This must be it,
Longed for Bliss,
First it was so quiet and now I know I am not alone in here.

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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-11-2019, 01:48 PM Thread Starter
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-12-2019, 09:44 AM
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Kilo, i told her, and she thanked me for the compliment.



cool.

. exactly what circumstance allowed her to tell you this without it being inappropriate or awkward?
Glad your interaction worked out for you. Giving compliments based on a person's physical could be dicey especially if you have some undercurrent of fancying them. You need to be careful if any subconscious thoughts you have about them were to inadvertently spill out of your mouth if giving than an innocent compliment. Certainly wouldn't comment on like someone's *** or legs or something, but you could compliment if they used an interesting hair colour etc.

Here's how I got called handsome. They were talking about other colleagues who irritate them and that they'd like to (metaphorically) punch in the face. I said something along the lines of "I bet you'd like to smack me too" but obviously in a jokey way. She said " oh no. You're far too handsome for that." So it was a jokey compliment, but obviously she has noticed my handsomeness. LOL

Some weeks ago ( at the graveside of a funeral of all places) I got called handsome by another woman there. At the same time, ANOTHER older woman who hadn't seen me for years remarked to someone else in my direct earshot about me" Oh, he's lovely!". I get this type of thing really frequently.

Oh god. Even a few MORE weeks ago, I was getting complimented on my looks by the bride at a wedding that I was sitting drinking with literally a few hours she just got married!. Compliments about my eyes, what I was wearing and general handsomeness. A bit of the conversation even kinda geared towards "well I (her) just married someone a few hours ago. You're too late to have me (I mean me) now."

You literally couldn't make this up. Lol.

Don't know where they get all this nonsense from because I get no romantic interests or approaches from women in the normal way despite all this apparent handsomeness/attractiveness.
Maybe I'm so good to look at that women don't approach or pretend they've not noticed me me cause they think I'm out of their league? I find that very hard to believe. I'll just have to make a habit of dropping the Porsche 911 or Ferrari car keys "accidentally" and maybe they'll come out of their shell. Lol

Waiting for a beam to break through here,
A chain-way vision bright and clear,
This must be it,
Longed for Bliss,
First it was so quiet and now I know I am not alone in here.

___________
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride, nobody gonna slow me down. I gotta keep on moovin!

If you can read this, you must look at my profile page. I like people who have attention to detail, and curiosity. Have a look, the lion's torso is on diplay :-p
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 06-15-2019, 08:56 AM
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Casual compliments are fine.


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