pray

I try to be around family and try not to be alone. This has helped me a lot.

There is one thing that is really important for me. And it's as simple as this - don't keep dangerous or abuse-able items in your house.

Some time ago, I was out drinking, and I got super, super depressed. I fell into a black hole. And I was like, that's it, time to die. So I drunkenly managed to get home, but then I realized, I didn't have anything in my house to kill myself with. I didn't have any sharp knives, in particular. I didn't have any cleaning products. There were no pills anywhere.

So I was just left with a conundrum. I want to die but I literally have nothing available to do it. I think this is important. Try to avoid keeping dangerous stuff if your house.

Last week the doctor gave me Clonazepam, and that was a bad idea, cos of course I abused it until I was totally delirious. I'm not ordering that stuff again. The temptation for abuse is just too great.

So make your house suicide-safe. Only use blunt knives. Don't keep poisons around. Maybe keep your medication in a less accessible place. I think that can really help.

Why didn't I find this thread sooner? Should have tried these things instead of hurting myself.

I just wanted to thank you for posting this. I like how it doesn't just list coping mechanisms for anxiety alone, but for a range of emotions.
This will definitely come in handy some time.
Thank you so much!!

I like this post
I have horses and they're one of the only things that motivate me not to, so when it triggers I'll go for a ride or something just to clear my head and sometimes it will work, especially if I have my iPod with me too, both of those are things that help me.
Otherwise for quick fixes the rubber band does help, and holding ice cubes.

thank you for the post. haven't tried most of these techniques but the next time I have urges, I'll try them

I tend to just write something really messed up and dark. Something that gets whatever what I am feeling out, but never writing about self harm itself or using to many "I" statements. Doing that just makes everything feel just that much more hopeless. I try to make my writing more and more dark, sometimes to the point where even I have no idea what I am talking about. I almost make it a game to see how far I can go before I am more amused at it than I am depressed or anxious. Then, I go back and read it from the beginning; laughing at it.

Gotta have that positive reinforcement at the end for doing something right; otherwise, u just revert back to the blood or whatever ur poison is.

Not keeping dangerous items in your house is not really prevention. There's aways a way to kill yourself if it gets to be too much. I think the only thing keeping me from doing it is living at home, and having my mother have to clean up the mess. I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for so long that they almost become second nature. not really sure how to get rid of them anymore.

oh man my arms look foolish now, it was about heatbreak break not suicidal stuff, I think about that sometimes.

I keep my knives scary sharp, way too sharp for the sort of games I used to play on my self

It looks real awkward in public, it's only this summer due to heat and losing weight that I am getting used to not hiding the scars all the time

Not sure what I'll do next summer, maybe I won't wear a coat everywhere finnally

I actually created a blog to let out my depressed feelings when I get that way. I'll post pictures, words, anything I'm feeling and let it out. It's good to know that the things I'm posting come from what other people feel too, so I feel like I'm not as lost. Sometimes I do it for hours until I calm down. And definitely removing all triggers from my room has been good.

Where was this post when I needed it badly 2 months ago?
Wonderful post.

Why are there so few posts here, don't more people do this???? I haul off a punch fences and road signs lately, I really have to watch it though because I'm an Apprentice Shred Lord, and also it increases arthritis risks.

Also I whack myself with iron weights, and sometimes smack my shins with a little pipe. Not very hard yet, but....no more knife play, it looks too pathetic

Nothing does it better than a bunch of nice cuts though...I can't seem to wrap my head around coping mechanisms and I don't see why it's bad for people to cut.

People just see it as bad, cutting is less acceptable than say smoking or alcoholism. Some people need help getting through this stressful hell hole they call life and they might go and light up or have a drink and that's seen as ok by some but you slash and hack your skin with a blade or knife for the same reason and people haul you away to shrinks and hospital and make life so much worse.

I've been in a bad place the last few weeks, just been really unwell emotionally/mentally. Something happened and I burst into tears and then didn't care if people noticed or whatever and cut a few times. Later at work I calmed down enough to cover up the cuts. No one usually notices and I thought I would be taking my self help secret with me to the grave so I just let it go. I did try and hide my arms but obviously I didn't do that good a job as a friend at work just straight out asked me "are you a cutter?" Not what happened to your arms or anything like that. I nearly had a heart attack, no one has ever asked me anything about my injuries. I panicked and said no, she pointed out the cuts on my arm and I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. I tried to say my cat did it as I do have many scratches and cuts from my cat and I usually try and make my cuts look like they were made by an animal but these ones didn't and I don't think she believed me.

I don't want people looking at me differently or thinking I'm going to cut everytime something goes wrong or for every little stressor. I think I went into shock, I felt yuk emotionally and physically sick. I thought maybe this wake up call will shock me into not cutting anymore but it only lasted a few days. Now the urge is back stronger than ever but I'm only cutting in places that are covered by the most basic clothing as I think my friend might be watching out for more cuts. I've been going to great lengths to cover up the other more noticeable cuts the last couple of days, just until they heal and I'm sure she's noticed I've been wearing my jacket a lot more and with the heating at work that's not easy.

My social anxiety means talking to her about it probably won't happen, I think I'd like to but I can't and it's stressing me out wondering what she's thinking of me now. I had an anxiety attack out of the blue today and felt like throwing up. If she has noticed maybe other people will but the obvious cuts have nearly healed so I'm nearly there. I've made new ones but they can't be seen easily although I need to be able to see the cuts easily to satisfy the urge so I don't know what to do.

I saw a really pretty girl in a porno last night who had a bunch of scars on her arms from cuts

In person out and about I don't think I've ever noticed anyone else. Soon they'll just see my big muscles ha ha ha

Don't worry about your coworker. Back when I was in the corporate world a woman would stare at my arms whenever I was around her. I had just gotten to the point where I was comfortable wearing short sleeve shirts which show my upper arms. I was always so afraid she'd put me in the spot.
Now that I'm out of that environment I realize that I had nothing to worry about.
If anyone asks or points out your scars, just simply say its none of their business making sure you look them right in the eye as a challenge.
Good luck.

Thank you for your reply I just always thought I would take this secret about me to the grave. It shocked me that even though I thought I was doing a good job to hide my arms that day, she was more observant than I gave her credit for. It will be hard enough telling people it's none of their business let alone looking them in the eye. But if it ever happens again I'll try.
I find myself hiding accidental cuts and scratches thinking she will just think I did them to myself.

who the heck are the puritans ? care to explain dude?