This might be a long rant:
I’ve been under a lot of work related stress lately. My output has slipped a bit in the past two weeks and I have been called for it ( in a passive aggressive sort of way) ... basically,I am at fault for failing to follow up with key people in various projects...
I know that it is my job ,but interacting with others takes a lot of effort for me. It is also very difficult for me to differentiate between assertion and aggression . So naturally, I perceive most interactions as being negative as opposed to people stating their point of view and needs.
A couple of days ago in the middle of this turmoil I found myself watching Sesame Street on my phone.
That’s right! I was watching ****ing Sesame Street at 29 in my cubby ( more like an open office these days). Sesame Street. Sesaaame Streeet! I don’t know how I got there nor do I know how I would have reacted if someone had seen me.
Worst of all I was actually enjoying it...Upon arriving home I got into an Ebay toy buying frenzy while trying to recapture my 90’s childhood...the only time when I was happy or felt safe.
What am I going to do with all those motorized board games and toys? Some of them are clearly meant for infants....
Today I found ditching porridge for Cocoa Puffs for breakfast while watching Hello Kitty Furry Tail Theater.
I’ve also developed a bit of an oral fixation as in chewing on pens, pencils, staplers, cards, and whatever is on my office desk.
Is this going to get worse? Or am I experiencing a temporal manic state?