Realising you haven't actually said what was in your mind - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-15-2007, 06:50 PM Thread Starter
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Realising you haven't actually said what was in your mind


I'm wondering if anyone else finds sometimes when they've talked to people they realise they hadn't said the whole thing in a way the other person/people could understand it? Often I find I thought something so I thought someone else knew what I meant when how could they possibly be mind-readers. Usually I'm pretty clearly saying what's on my mind but sometimes I realise I hadn't explained a certain point they couldn't possibly have known. I wonder if anyone knows what the heck I'm talking about (phew!)
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-15-2007, 08:47 PM
 
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that, and we just don't talk well in general.

to make up for our inarticulacy, we once started writing what we wanted to say instead of actually saying it. but then we found out some people just aren't big readers and they thought it was a stupid idea. the nerves!
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-17-2007, 08:41 PM
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oh yeah i am like this. i try to say what i want to say in the fewest words possible so as not to bore my listener or embarrass myself by saying something stupid...pretty much the result is an incomplete story

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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 06:31 AM
 
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re: Realising you haven't actually said what was in your min


I am awful at trying to explain stuff to other people and give any kind of directions. These are the situations that I have a really hard time getting my thoughts out to another person. It really sucks for me because it effects my job a lot sometimes. There are times when I tell myself to slow down, look the person in the eye and talk and I do ok, but for the most part it's a struggle.
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 06:37 AM
 
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re: Realising you haven't actually said what was in your min


I'm like this too but I attribute this to a combo of that I 'live' inside my head way too much (classic introvert) and that my mind is so scattered, even on the best of days and I have a hard time getting a complete thought put into words. Not that I can't say what I want to say in the fullness that I mean to in the first place, just that most of the time, it's seriously hard for me unless I can concentrate fully on what's going on around me, which is rare
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-18-2007, 05:48 PM
 
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re: Realising you haven't actually said what was in your min


I hate not being able to articulate myself as well. I often find myself going over conversations after the fact and thinking, "I should have said this or that, and I left out this part and that," so that I'm left thinking if the person even understood what I was clumsily trying to say. *sigh*

Leppardess, I am soooo like you just described.
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-20-2007, 11:15 PM
 
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"Realising you have actually said what was in your mind" is apparently just as bad. crap.
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-21-2007, 12:42 PM
 
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re: Realising you haven't actually said what was in your min


I do this. I tend to start in the middle of things (because I know what I'm talking about). I learned something interesting from someone yesterday though (which might be related, not sure). We were talking about the fact that I think I'm a bad teacher because I don't see results right away. She said, "When I'm teaching I always assume I won't see results right away but I figure down the line somewhere (presumably when the student is ready) the person will remember what I said and it will make more sense." That was a bit of an aha moment for me. I'm wondering therefore if it is really my expectations that are off. Maybe when I'm talking to someone I shouldn't always expect them to understand right away but should consider it worthwhile to tell them what I'm thinking anyway. Weird.
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-24-2007, 11:26 AM
 
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Re: re: Realising you haven't actually said what was in your


Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeg479
I am awful at trying to explain stuff to other people and give any kind of directions. These are the situations that I have a really hard time getting my thoughts out to another person. It really sucks for me because it effects my job a lot sometimes. There are times when I tell myself to slow down, look the person in the eye and talk and I do ok, but for the most part it's a struggle.


and when that person walks away I suuddenly have the perfect explanation or whateva..And im like y didnt i think of that at that time..damn anxiety.
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-29-2007, 11:56 AM
 
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re: Realising you haven't actually said what was in your min


Quote:
I hate not being able to articulate myself as well. I often find myself going over conversations after the fact and thinking, "I should have said this or that, and I left out this part and that," so that I'm left thinking if the person even understood what I was clumsily trying to say. *sigh*
^ You read my mind. In my head, my thoughts are organized and pretty darn articulate, but when they come out they turn to mush. Complete mush. If only I could redo conversations. Man, I wish I had some sort of script to follow.
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 11-25-2007, 04:38 PM
 
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Re: Realising you haven't actually said what was in your mind


I'll leave out random words, like " Hi, will you be friend?". I usally don't say something they should know first, but just because I hate talking. Kinda hope they'll get what I'm saying anyway.
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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 11-26-2007, 04:50 AM
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Re: Realising you haven't actually said what was in your mind


I always think something and assume I've said it and **** up the whole conversation.
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 07:08 PM
 
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Re: Realising you haven't actually said what was in your mind


Yeah, I have that problem. Except most of what I say comes out all wrong. I do a lot of "talking" in my head and I forget that people can't hear that part of the dialogue. And then I also get all choked up and anxious about speaking, so my mouth kind of screws things up.
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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 07:28 PM
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Re: Realising you haven't actually said what was in your mind


yeah, i do this almost every time i have to explain something. i can't always think straight and my thoughts are always scattered.
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