Phobia of calling or accepting calls - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 33 (permalink) Old 07-24-2014, 08:33 PM
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Hello, ok I have been there, still am, but it's getting better. Practice is key I guess. What has worked for me to calm down is mostly make a scheme of the things I have to say and if it's someone who really makes me nervous even write down the conversation from my side and practice a little before calling. I know it sounds awkward and for the longest time I thought I was really stupid for doing that, but the truth is that if I don't, it'll be a mess. As for answering a phonecall, I have to remind myself that silent is ok. Idk if you are like me, but at the sign of a bit of silence, I start blabbering and laughing and acting just embarrassing, especially with people I know. Then I hang up and I'm facepalming and telling myself, I should have let the silence linger a little so I could gather my thoughts straight and talk like a normal person. I know it is hard, but practice helps the most.
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post #22 of 33 (permalink) Old 07-24-2014, 08:49 PM
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Due to work, I've had to take literally thousands of phone calls. I'm still not totally past this.
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post #23 of 33 (permalink) Old 07-24-2014, 08:54 PM
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Yeh, I got this. Find it very strange how other people aren't phased by it.

In fact, growing up it was so terrifying I just assumed everyone had this problem and I was just 'weak' for not being able to deal with it.

I find making calls much worse than receiving.

Also was forced to work at a telephone market research place when I was younger, making endless phone calls. Didn't help me (may have made me worse). So much for exposure therapy heh.
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post #24 of 33 (permalink) Old 07-24-2014, 09:07 PM
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I never pick up the phone... :S
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post #25 of 33 (permalink) Old 07-24-2014, 11:45 PM
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I know exactly what you mean...I feel the same way. I can never order takeout for some reason because it makes me anxious. I guess its just a normal part of social anxiety. The only advice I could give you is that pretend the person you are talking to is one of your really good friends, and then maybe you will be more comfortable talking to them.
Good Luck!!
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post #26 of 33 (permalink) Old 07-25-2014, 05:19 PM
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I have this same problem. And I've had it all my life. I always found it difficult calling friends when I was younger, for fear that their parents or whomever would pick up

This reminds me, I've actually been putting off calling three drs for the past month! I guess I should get my butt in gear

Anyway, I like the bits of advice given, and I'm gonna give them a go!
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post #27 of 33 (permalink) Old 07-25-2014, 10:42 PM
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I still haven't gotten over my phone phobia its probably one of the reasons I'm still unemployed really because a lot of jobs I've applied for require you to ring them to ask for more info etc. about the role. I still don't answer the phone in my house even if no one else is home and my whole family gets pretty ****** about it. Its made me pretty thankful texting is around at least for contacting friends.
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post #28 of 33 (permalink) Old 07-26-2014, 04:59 AM
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I hate phone calls. I'm irritated every time someone calls me on my personal mobile , which happens quite rare but I loathe it. I have broken 2 phones ,smashing them in the wall. I deal with outgoing calls easier since I lead the conversation and I can maintain control.
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post #29 of 33 (permalink) Old 07-26-2014, 04:59 AM
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Ahhhh! This is one of the main reasons I joined this forum! My fear of the telephone is ridiculous. I can pinpoint it to back when I was a kid and my dad would FORCE me to speak to him on the phone every day. I wasn't allowed out at all unless I was supervised by him or an "approved school travel buddy" and I wouldn't see my dad for weeks on end sometimes. But everyday, that awful, condescending, mean and controlling phone call, regardless of whether he had anything nice to say to me or not. I'd still have to talk.

These days, I have become so isolated because of this kind of anxiety. My phone doesn't even ring anymore because I permanently have it on airplane mode to avoid the really mean and shouty debt collectors. It's ruined my life.

Graded exposure was my psychologist's approach. Can't say it worked for me. I still feel impending doom every time I remember I have a phone.
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post #30 of 33 (permalink) Old 07-26-2014, 06:36 AM
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I don't even own a cell phone (haven't for years - what's the point when I'm home all the time) but I may be getting a cell phone soon. I'm wondering if I'll even be able to pick it up when someone calls. When someone I know calls the house phone very rarely am I "ready" to talk. I'll usually let it ring and then I call them back when I'm ready. I feel like it comes off as rude to people, but it's not my intent at all.
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post #31 of 33 (permalink) Old 07-26-2014, 06:43 AM
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I hate receiving phone calls. Especially if I'm not expecting anyone to call me.
Making phone calls is still a struggle hover it's a bit easier since I can rehearse what I'm going to say.
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post #32 of 33 (permalink) Old 07-27-2014, 10:52 AM
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For me it's more so receiving and answering text messages because I feel like I have to say something witty back and I never know what to say back to people... for me it is easier to talk on the phone b/c if you say something stupid over the phone a person won't really remember it a little while later but once you put something in writing... its there FOREVER... (in my mind!)

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the most beautiful and rare of all."-Mulan

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post #33 of 33 (permalink) Old 07-28-2014, 09:47 AM
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I have a much bigger problem with making phone calls than I do with receiving them. I feel that when I receive them, it seems much more natural and reactionary with what I'm going to say. When making the call, I'm the one that initiated it and I feel that the onus is on me to take charge of the conversation, so that puts a lot more pressure on me. When I have a goal in mind with the call, like calling up a store to ask if an item is in stock or maybe booking an appointment, I focus too much on what I want to say beforehand to the point where it feels so artificial and forced, and that makes me very nervous because I then think they will find me weird for sounding robotic.

Thats not to say I don't have any problems with receiving calls. Talking on the phone still worries me a bit. It's just much easier.
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