Peter pan syndrome, Wendy dilemma, Cinderella complex - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old 08-19-2020, 07:10 PM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Age: 30
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Peter pan syndrome, Wendy dilemma, Cinderella complex


These things are so cool mates! There's a book on each of these, Peter pan syndrome by Dan Kiley, Wendy dilemma by Dan Kiley, and Cinderella complex by Colette Dowling. I wonder if there's also a Tinker bell.

Anyway I am entirely a Peter pan, or I've dated some Peter pans. They should rename it to "people who have never grown up", because it doesn't just happen to men. Now the Peter pan movie makes sense to me, so Wendy dilemma has some connection here, like "when women stop mothering their men". This should also be renamed to "when people stop mothering their dates/spouses". So that's what Wendy was doing with Peter pan, she went back home to grow up and Peter pan went back to playing-land, he was scared to grow up.

The Cinderella complex is entirely different, it's about women afraid of their own independence. I liken this to women who get married and society wanting women to depend on men for everything thus making women into Wendy and Peter pan. Very saddening. "An unconscious desire to be taken care of by others". I have this desire with dates and it's wrong entirely! Dates should be more like La la land, I'm busy with my actress auditions and he's busy with his jazz auditions.

Overall, I think I fit under all these. I should avoid Peter pans on dates/spouses/friends while being careful to appear like I can take care of myself and be careful to not overindulge in my Wendy and Cinderella personas. What do you think about these things? Do you see yourself and people in your life in these personas?

Peter pan grows up and breaks up with Wendy because she reminds him of his mother. Then he tries to get it on with Tinkerbell but she reminds him of his Cinderella wife. Peter pan only wants Wendy to mother him, it's what she does best. Wendy wants Peter pan to love her but he can't. So Wendy decides to grow up by dumping Peter pan and finding a husband. By finding a husband, Wendy unknowingly becomes a Cinderella. Then Peter pan comes around again and hits on Wendy's daughter, hoping she can be his mother, and the cycle goes on.

This can save your relationships. We shouldn't mother our men, we should only mother the children. It's tricky with Peter pan men though, if they grow up they won't love you because you are a Wendy and remind them too much of their own mother. A Wendy has to become a Tinkerbell but she will be a Cinderella as well, a wife. She won't mother any Peter pan men in her life since her husband loves her as a Cinderella and a Tinkerbell and if she doesn't mother him. We should only mother the children we have, not our men! Yikes! Psychology.
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