People smiling... - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 11:48 AM Thread Starter
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People smiling...


So I would think this is actually relatively common here, but it has brought me quite a bit of anxiety over time.
Whenever I'm outside (not home), and someone looks at me (or doesn't even have to look at me, tbh) and smiles, I start feeling anxious (laughing at me?)

So do you others get anxious over this, or is it less common than I've thought... Also, do you know what you can do to work on this..?
As it feels like it's one of the main things causing me anxiety...

(Idk if this is the right place to put this, but w/e)

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post #2 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-20-2016, 11:54 AM
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I smile. But when I do, everyone thinks I killed someone ("This 'Psychopath title thingy' is gonna drive me f***ing bananas.") ("Who said you're not crazy already?") ("Shut up!").
Let's be serious here for a moment. Whenever someone smiles at me, I get a sudden paranoia boost, like tenfold. That usually involves me scanning the whole room for something. My trust in people here is too damaged to be repaired.

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post #3 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-21-2016, 07:23 AM
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I look down or turn back and looking elsewhere when it happens. Usually, it is mostly old ladies who look and smile at me. I surely look always sad or suffering due to involuntary facial expression...

життя без кохання ? з відеоіграми це можливо!

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post #4 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-21-2016, 08:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Raies View Post
So I would think this is actually relatively common here, but it has brought me quite a bit of anxiety over time.
Whenever I'm outside (not home), and someone looks at me (or doesn't even have to look at me, tbh) and smiles, I start feeling anxious (laughing at me?)

So do you others get anxious over this, or is it less common than I've thought... Also, do you know what you can do to work on this..?
As it feels like it's one of the main things causing me anxiety...

(Idk if this is the right place to put this, but w/e)
I used to feel this way but now I find it quite encouraging. I had to realise that I'm not completely worthless and that people aren't constantly judging me.
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post #5 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-21-2016, 10:29 AM
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I would love it if strangers smiled at me (instead of the usual frowns). But I get where you're coming from. It's awkward and sometimes you don't know how to react. As for what you can do, try smiling back. If you're self-conscious about how you smile, try practicing in the mirror or recording your facial expression.
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post #6 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-21-2016, 10:42 AM
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It depends on how they are smiling. They could either be making fun of you or they could find you attractive. If you're interested, smile back at them. If not, avoid eye contact. I don't like being bothered in public. I want to be doing my own stuff in peace. That's why I ignore people unless it's a good looking woman who wants to chat.
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post #7 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-21-2016, 10:44 AM
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I love the smile thing (lol sorry, that was unintended)

I am the one to start it off just as much as they would smile at me, makes it feel as though I'm not completely invisible to everyone. Don't worry too much about it, the only time I feel a bit weird about it is when they don't even really smile, just kinda stare at me for more than 3 seconds.

\_(ツ)_/
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post #8 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-21-2016, 11:30 AM
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When I'm happy, I smile at people. I mean, how can you help it? Its difficult to keep a neutral expression, when you've just won the lottery or something akin to that.

When people are smiling at you it just means that they can't help radiating their joy.

Or maybe I'm just weird, and can't tell if people are laughing at me, LoL

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post #9 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-21-2016, 11:38 AM Thread Starter
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When I'm happy, I smile at people. I mean, how can you help it? Its difficult to keep a neutral expression, when you've just won the lottery or something akin to that.

When people are smiling at you it just means that they can't help radiating their joy.

Or maybe I'm just weird, and can't tell if people are laughing at me, LoL
Well that is the most likely explanation...
I don't usually have a problem with people I know smiling at me (even when not knowing personally, or even spoken, but been in a class together), as I can usually recognize it being a friendly smile.

And it is sort of irrational to think a random person would be making fun of you, if you don't see that in school or work for example.
It's still difficult to not feel anxious over it :S

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post #10 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-21-2016, 01:07 PM
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I`m a smiler, and I tend to stare at people whilst I`m smiling until they do likewise.
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post #11 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-22-2016, 01:33 AM Thread Starter
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I`m a smiler, and I tend to stare at people whilst I`m smiling until they do likewise.



"If you need a safe space, see a therapist" - Jordan Peterson
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post #12 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-22-2016, 01:40 AM
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@Raies , haha thats pretty much me when I'm out and about but I`m better looking
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post #13 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-26-2016, 09:47 AM
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I am in no position to give advice right now, but i can relate. Whenever i see others smiling at me or hear them laughing I get paranoid and think they are making fun of me. I know how that feels.
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post #14 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 07:17 AM
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When people smile at me, I get nervous because they either are trying to be friendly towards me and I get scared, or that they're laughing at me and I just try to ignore it.
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post #15 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-30-2016, 04:10 AM
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I can totally see why it makes you anxious, honestly if it helps personally I smile at people especially people i'm walking by who are alone just because I find eye contact so hard it's just something to do that relieves a little bit of anxiety.
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post #16 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-30-2016, 08:51 AM
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I feel this way to, but it helps to remind yourself that they aren't laughing at you, they are just amused.

I told you I was hurt, bleeding on the inside... I told you I was lost, in the middle of my life...
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post #17 of 31 (permalink) Old 01-25-2017, 06:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raies View Post
So I would think this is actually relatively common here, but it has brought me quite a bit of anxiety over time.
Whenever I'm outside (not home), and someone looks at me (or doesn't even have to look at me, tbh) and smiles, I start feeling anxious (laughing at me?)

So do you others get anxious over this, or is it less common than I've thought... Also, do you know what you can do to work on this..?
As it feels like it's one of the main things causing me anxiety...

(Idk if this is the right place to put this, but w/e)
Yeah, I have noticed strangers smiling at me, like middle aged women around my age or 10+ years older, adolescent girls, guys around my age, little kids, grannies, older middle aged men. It used to scare me a little when people would smile at me, I would be thinking wtf.

Don't worry about the laughing, even if they might be laughing about you don't take it so seriously, you don't know, maybe they're high on something and can't think right. I used to laugh all the time when I was high and I had no way to realize if I was hurting someone's feelings! Or they might be laughing at a memory they remember or just feel good and having fun with their friends about another reason, it's not always going to be that they would laugh about you.

It's just mere acknowledgement you're receiving from another human being, it's also a sort of mutual greeting. It's nothing to negatively interpret, it's actually very heart-warming to receive and also to give to others. Now a days I smile at people no matter the gender or age, and some of them return the same my way, while others do not, but I hold my glance their way anyway. I look at someone just to acknowledge their presence and beauty and they give me a smile and I am still kind of shocked but I return the smile right away, it's like automatic now, I don't even think about it, just happens!

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post #18 of 31 (permalink) Old 05-03-2018, 01:06 PM
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Actually the case here is same with me....
Whenever I'm outside And even with anyone including my family.people smile/smirk at me. Iam unable to differentiate between these but its a negative .Atleast what i see. I think it is because of my weird expressions because of which everyone considers me as a crazy person. I cant even control it.I also begin to smile most of the time.This problem has effected me since 3 years both in my personal life and education.
I would have been a mbbs student instead of dental student.
It is worsening everyday and dropping impact on my daily activities. I begin to sweat and my heart palpitates And i go blank. Iam unable to control my weird smiley expressions no matter how much i try....
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post #19 of 31 (permalink) Old 05-03-2018, 01:14 PM
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I try to avoid eye contact as much as possible and i also avoid talking or being with people.I feel guilty that i lost my self-esteem for that particular person. I try my best to avoid parties functions.
I try to be alone.
I put my headphones in most the cases. People also try to neglect me
When the conversation is necessary.
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post #20 of 31 (permalink) Old 05-03-2018, 01:19 PM
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I get kind of twitchy and nervous. But it's not that I'm concerned they're making fun of me; it's that I become hyper aware of what's going on on my face, and I am bad at controlling that. I don't want to seem rude or weird, but at the same time I feel weird smiling back. So I often just end up grimacing oddly until they pass. lol

I also really, really, really hate eye contact... which seems to be a big component of the "pass and smile" schtick.

I'm much better about it at work, when I'm in my "zone." It's more performative there. I feel like I have a little more control over the situation for some reason. I'm also usually trying to hide the fact that I feel like my stomach is vengefully digesting me back...

A coworker actually called me "bubbly" once. It was one of the most bizarre things anyone's ever said to me. Not an adjective I, or anyone else I've ever met, would typically use... lol
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