Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: In Wonderland,going deeper down the rabbit hole...
OCD's driving me crazy,its mental torture along with chronic back/neck pain
My OCD is beyond bad at this point,I quit taking ssri's because they made me numb and now im only taking xanax which im actually trying to get off of.I have these body based obsessions,I obsess about other stuff to like numbs,the way things are set up,tv settings,radio settings for music,the list goes on.But one thing I obsess with most is my eyes,I rub them till bloodshot or till ones bloodshot,I have a astigmatism and basically obsess about my vision,not to mention I have back and neck pain from something stupid I did like a year or two ago.I got an xray later on,way after the insident happened,like a year after and the doctor said nothing was wrong and to get an mri,which I cant afford.I havent told my psychiatrist about my pain because I dont feel like I can talk to him about it.He's kinda whatever with medicines and acts like a total dick sometimes,I think if I told him about my back pain,he might think im just lying and trying to get painkillers or some****.Thats how he is.And when he reccomends something and I question it,i get a letter in the mail from him basically saying iff you dont like what I recommend switch psychiatrist,and tell me not to question his expertise and blah blah blah I dont like him at all but thats not the point anyway what I was getting at is when I obsess about my pain it becomes worse,but when I took lortab when I got my wisdom teeth pulled the ocd was basically gone,along with chronic back and neck pain.what should I do,im in chronic ****ing pain both physically and emotionally. All of this piled on top of social anxiety and obviously depression.I feel like ****ing ****.