I've been a narcissist for much of my life. I like to think that I've recovered from it with socializing. Talking to other people and hearing what they have to say and trying to help them takes me out of my solo patterns and changes my focus.
I have been a hero-narcissist, helping others solely for the purpose of self image.
My self image was constantly under attack by sadists who bullied me and my narcissistic machevelian mother, who failed to be impressed with anything I ever did. My attempts to honor her biblically with greater and greater achievements always fell flat, forcing me to go bigger and better just to try to fulfill my levitical obligation to her.
Finally with coronovirus she listened to something I had been cooking up my whole life and there was a concussion of relief to me.
Ever since I've felt free of this hero-narcissistic-levitical complex and I've been enjoying doing pretty much nothing important.
When coronovirus ends I'll figure something else out and try to base it on healthier patterns.
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