Maladaptive daydreaming (MD)- fantasy stories in your head - Page 7 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #121 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-01-2013, 11:23 AM
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My therapist was not surprised by it. I gave her a note, which she read out loud because I could not tell her any other way. I have really, really struggle with this, really thought there is something really wrong with me. She even admitted to her own daydreams...I have a long way to go with this but at least I found away to tell her because I can't control the dreaming.
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post #122 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-01-2013, 12:14 PM
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My day dreaming helps compensate for not following my dreams in real life.
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post #123 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-01-2013, 06:36 PM
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Thank you for posting this, it explains so much. I've been doing this for as long as I can remember and to be honest it's such a relief to know that enough other people do this that it has actually been given a name.

I thought I was just plain crazy
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post #124 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-01-2013, 08:17 PM
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Wow, I had no idea this was a thing. This is the first (and probably last) time I have ever admitted this, but this describes me so well. It's gotten to the point that I will consciously choose do it in the middle of the day for a couple hours even though I have things I have to do. It takes me 2-4 hours to go to bed every night and I complain about having insomnia but deep down I know it's because I'm doing this. So it's definitely to the point that it's effecting my life in a negative way, but I don't want to stop. I am extremely emotionally attached to the characters to the point that I would get very depressed if I stopped. (it was very hard for me to type that) It just... very comforting and makes me happy, I don't know how to describe it.

I feel such strong shame over this, the shame I feel about my SA doesn't even begin to compare. There are a few things, for me at least, that I wouldn't even consider telling another person or professional even if I was getting out all my dirty secrets. This is definitely one of them. I even avoided using "daydreams" or "fantasies" in this post, because the words themselves cause me embarrassment.
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post #125 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-02-2013, 01:48 PM
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Wow, I had no idea this was a thing. This is the first (and probably last) time I have ever admitted this, but this describes me so well. It's gotten to the point that I will consciously choose do it in the middle of the day for a couple hours even though I have things I have to do. It takes me 2-4 hours to go to bed every night and I complain about having insomnia but deep down I know it's because I'm doing this. So it's definitely to the point that it's effecting my life in a negative way, but I don't want to stop. I am extremely emotionally attached to the characters to the point that I would get very depressed if I stopped. (it was very hard for me to type that) It just... very comforting and makes me happy, I don't know how to describe it.

I feel such strong shame over this, the shame I feel about my SA doesn't even begin to compare. There are a few things, for me at least, that I wouldn't even consider telling another person or professional even if I was getting out all my dirty secrets. This is definitely one of them. I even avoided using "daydreams" or "fantasies" in this post, because the words themselves cause me embarrassment.

I told two people this week, I have never spoken about it before I have had this for 34 years....I actually wrote it down and gave it to my therapist. She accepted it, wasn't surprised by it even. I told her because she was asking the right questions and I kept pushing her away, telling her that I wasn't ready, getting panicky. But I knew that I trusted her. She isn't just a therapist, she is also a medical doctor, which helps. She says it can be a reaction to isolation and trauma when we are young..in the same we others may us alcohol or drugs. And she admitted to her own daydreams..it was the most open she had even been with me. I was shaking with shame and fear.
Today I told one other person, the person that I trust the most, who got me to my therapist and actually saved my life. I used the same note. He too understood and was not surprised, I was shaking so hard too. It has been so, so painful but I feel better that two people know, the two people I trust the most. If you tell someone it has to be someone you are comfortable with and will not judge you for it.

When I was about 21, I discovered Anne of Green Gables, it is a children's book, but Anne Shirley who was an orphan and their were hints in the book about her being mistreated....She developed her own imaginary world..she was able to use it to become a writer but it started out of loneliness and childhood trauma....But I still didn't talk about until Thursday night.
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post #126 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-02-2013, 04:00 PM
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just joined this thread.

So how does everyone here cut down on the daydreaming?


I just daydream about improving my life and prefer to think about it rather than actually do it.

???
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post #127 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-02-2013, 05:36 PM
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That is what I want to learn is how to cut down, so I can do things such as drive a car without fear of killing someone because my mind has wondered.
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post #128 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-02-2013, 06:44 PM
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Wow, I totally do this. I often daydream about being in fantastical places and meeting interesting people and animals, basically compensating for and escaping my life, it also helps me with my depression. I daydream more about places than I do about people though. And not all my daydreams are completely imaginary, lots of the places I imagine going to are inspired by real places, same with people. I also usually listen to music when i'm daydreaming.



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post #129 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-02-2013, 08:45 PM
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Daydreaming is one of the few things that makes me truly happy; I guess this is because I've accepted that life will be nothing but suffering with little pay off. I create my own little fantasy world to deal with this, but the really sad thing is that it actually fills me with rage knowing that my fantasies cannot come true.
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post #130 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-03-2013, 06:42 PM
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I knew this was common among people with Avoidant Personaliy Disorder, which also happens to be my diagnosis, but I didn't know it had a name and that it was common in other disorders as well.

I've used it for escaping an empty and boring life as well as dealing with anxiety. It was a huge problem for me in university since I would spend most of my days daydreaming rather than studying. I did fine as long as I was at university, but as soon as I got home I started daydreaming again. It even became like an automatic response to studying. As soon as I would even think of studying I went into daydream mode. It was of course a disaster for my career as a student.

I've noticed that as soon as I have to do something that induces some level of anxiety, I tend to fall into the habit of daydreaming. Most of the time I can break it, if the thing I'm doing doesn't induce too much anxiety, but it often makes me a bit late for appointments, events or anywhere I have to be at a specific time. It's really frustrating. It becomes like a pointless ritual that you have to do before you do that anxiety inducing thing.
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post #131 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-03-2013, 07:06 PM
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I've always thought I was dizzy just because I didn't get sleep (even though I do).
This makes so much more sense. wow
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post #132 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-03-2013, 07:19 PM
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I always done this as a kid, I didn't have a friend a lot of the time so i'd fall inside myself a lot.
I don't do it as much now, just before I let myself fall asleep and when I've got my headphones on in public. It allows me to 'fake experience' a life i'd never have
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post #133 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-04-2013, 01:18 AM
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I was the same way lol. I was always a daydreamer/fantasizer and it happened almost everyday until I was 18. I still do it from time to time but not nearly as much and I've basically stopped.

I had 2 main worlds. They are from pieces of fiction(anime). I used the anime as the basis for my fantasy worlds and had my own character(s) and stories/history and I would watch anime cutscenes and replay them in my mind differently so that they suit my world. I used to play with a toy action figure until 16-17 that helped me enjoy these fantasy worlds but I threw it outside down the drain when I realized my behavior really wasn't normal.
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post #134 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-05-2013, 10:42 PM
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omg i am so happy that there are others just like me. I honestly thought I was the only one who had this problem, but after doing some web surfing i recognised that this was actually a condition and everything made sense!! my daydreaming started when i was young and has progressivly gotten worst over the years. Ive always had a very creative mind and i love to write and make up fantasies but id rather not live in them. This has benefitted my writing in many ways but has also effected my social life! I have tons of dreams about traveling and writing but i feel this is getting in the way of me forefilling those dreams. As much as i love it i also hate it as it is isolating me and making me seem weird to others. although i could say that over the past few months since i started college i am beggining to get myself out more and not having to worry about sitting at home daydreaming all day. I still have problems at night where i sit on my bed and rock back and forth while daydreaming but it isnt quite interfering with anything else. But still, I would like to go to sleep at night, concentrate at school and make more friends. As much as i dont want to, i know its time to let go and get on with life! I understand that itll be a slow process but after finally recognising what this actually is, i am aware that it is a problem for me which is the first big step. I am confident that this will eventually be left behind and i will move on to conquer my goals in life. It will be a long process but i am willing to do anything it takes to change it!
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post #135 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 07:29 AM
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Oh great, now my daydreaming is a problem too :/

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post #136 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 07:42 AM
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Sorry to bump up this thread, I just wanted to say how much of a relief it was to discover this thread, it made me join this forum as I realised I wasn't alone.

I don't even know when I started to do this, I think it was when I got to my mid - late teens and started high school and became more isolated and lonely. I definitely used it as a coping method, for sure. I daydream about being a singer all the time, music is by far my biggest trigger and as I often imagine being the person singing, so it could be a girl or a boy. Just someone who had an amazing voice and great performance skills. My characters are often fictional though, but in love with real life celebrities.

I'm determined to stop though, sometimes it creeps up on me when I'm at work and I don't like that. I've tried to stop day dreaming the last 48hours. I'm doing okish so far, I had music on this morning and I was imaging myself as part of the girl group singing away, but I only let myself have about 3 songs before I got up and distracted myself. I feel much more lonely now I've stopped, but somehow a bit proud that I've managed not to be my main character at all for this time. I'm just trying to keep myself constantly distracted and give my mind goals to focus on and hope within time it will wear of naturally. I don't think it will be that easy, but I don't enjoy it anymore.

This is me completely it's like your talking out of my head!
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post #137 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 08:20 AM
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Am I the only one that's upset to discover this has a name? I feel like now I have another label added to me. Today I was so caught up in my daydreaming that I missed my stop on the metro. Thank god metro trains are only a few minutes apart.
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post #138 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 08:47 AM
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Teehee!!! This has happened to me. Fortunately, the little subway system i use only has one line which is circular, so i just stayed on for another 30 mins. I've known for some time that it has an official name but I don't let that fact bother me. My fantasising is so detailed and elaborate that it can seem freakishly real at times.
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post #139 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 04:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Ricardomg93 View Post
Oh great, now my daydreaming is a problem too :/
It's only a problem if 1. it significantly interferes with things you should actually be doing, and/or 2. you perceive that it is.

My daydreaming, for me, isn't a problem; it's a gift. Thus why I find this thread so saddening, so many people wanting to get rid of this ability. Though I do understand why they want to--because for them, it's not a gift, it's a problem.

ETA:

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Am I the only one that's upset to discover this has a name? I feel like now I have another label added to me. Today I was so caught up in my daydreaming that I missed my stop on the metro. Thank god metro trains are only a few minutes apart.
I'm just upset that for so many people, the thing that I consider such a gift is such a problem.

If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.

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post #140 of 336 (permalink) Old 11-06-2013, 04:58 PM
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It's only a problem if 1. it significantly interferes with things you should actually be doing, and/or 2. you perceive that it is.

My daydreaming, for me, isn't a problem; it's a gift. Thus why I find this thread so saddening, so many people wanting to get rid of this ability. Though I do understand why they want to--because for them, it's not a gift, it's a problem.
Yeah i think the same, i just didn't expressed everything i wanted there xD

I don't have problems with concentration and i don't think those dreams are real (though i wish some of them were...); Being able to daydream is fun, maybe for people who don't have the will to do anything it's a problem but for me is just a way create hope and motivate myself for the future, also i'm pretty sure that i'm training my brain to be more creative when i dream about crazy and unreal stuff(today a zombie apocalypse happened in my head and i saved a beautiful girl, not impossible! haha)
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