Lack of Motivation - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-03-2020, 03:08 PM Thread Starter
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Lack of Motivation


Who else here struggles with motivation? I have my whole life but it got worse when I went to college. Suddenly no one was forcing me to do the things I needed to day and I fell apart in that new-found freedom. These days I can't even get myself to make a phone call I need to make without putting it off for a month. Literally, a month. Has anyone else experienced this and does anyone have advice?
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-03-2020, 04:10 PM
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Who else here struggles with motivation? I have my whole life but it got worse when I went to college. Suddenly no one was forcing me to do the things I needed to day and I fell apart in that new-found freedom. These days I can't even get myself to make a phone call I need to make without putting it off for a month. Literally, a month. Has anyone else experienced this and does anyone have advice?
Hi Jared - ironically when I went to uni I also wasn't really motivated study-wise - and certainly paid the price for it. If I'm being transparent, this did coincide with when I first decided to tackle my social anxiety, and that certainly has been beneficial. I only wish I got the balance right. Incidentally, it was years after graduating with a poor grade in a 2008 recession that a particular event almost completely turned me around. It's definitely an overarching drive and goal that can almost push you through walls.

An immediate surface-level tip I can give is getting things done early in the morning. Allegedly, people's motivation is highest 3-4 hours after they wake up.

There are a few other surface-level tips, but I think you'd also appreciate more fundamental advice. It may help if you were able to share any particular short-term aims you wish you were more motivated to do. Also, what do you do in your spare time, what your recreational activities are, and how much of your day that takes up (trust me, I'm going somewhere with this)?

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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-03-2020, 04:36 PM
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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-03-2020, 05:45 PM
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It depends. Sometimes I'm a huge slacker. Then others times I'm insanely productive. But there are definitely stretches where I just can't get motivated at all. It's tough sometimes when it feels like the entire world universe is against you. Or that you can't do anything to improve your situation, so its like why bother. Its so much easier not to fight and to just let the depression swallow you whole. But I also don't want to look back on my life when I'm on my deathbed and be like yea I did nothing with my time here. I just accommodated my ****ing disorders and neurosis. Maybe I'm not able to achieve as much as others who don't have the same challenges to face but I still want to do something with my life.

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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-03-2020, 06:16 PM
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When I'm unmotivated, depressed, anxious, I tell myself I'm helping save the planet by doing nothing, it's never been easier to be a superhero.






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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-04-2020, 05:02 AM
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I'm a highly motivated person, but I'm also a very anxious person. I can spend all day working on various projects but put off an important phone call for a month simply because I'm afraid to make the call.

Beauty isn't everything. It's the only thing.
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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-05-2020, 05:09 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks Macky. The morning advice kind of confirms what I figured out about myself. I only accomplish anything when I get started early.
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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-07-2020, 07:31 PM
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Yeah it's been a life long problem, it seems a bit more complicated than just a lack of motivation though, I have trouble getting from one point to another and organisation generally. There's definitely something undiagnosed going on there.

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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-08-2020, 06:51 AM
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Thanks Macky. The morning advice kind of confirms what I figured out about myself. I only accomplish anything when I get started early.
No problem Jared. Seems what you've always suspected about yourself has been confirmed as a general trait. So definitely be aware of this, in planning your morning the day before for example.

Not sure if you play video games or are heavily into social media, but you may also be aware that such activities, which are designed to give high levels of dopamine very quickly, actually discourage the brain from doing other activities. These other activities may be the ones you have difficulty in being self-motivated to do, and generally are ones that do not provide immediate benefits.

Of course, this wouldn't apply if you don't have these high dopamine activities in your life. But going by the "motivated in the morning" fact, you'd certainly benefit from doing some research into self-motivation.

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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-08-2020, 11:54 PM
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It's practically impossible to muster any motivation once you're a cynical nihilist and predeterminist with depression and willfully low self-esteem. These things tend to compound. I don't think I can get anything done of my own free will without harnessing the force of habit. I can still get out of bed, if only so I can lose myself in front of the monitor, and do my job, if only so that things don't get even worse.
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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-09-2020, 07:13 PM
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I suspect chronic procrastination often goes hand-in-hand with social anxiety.

I'm terrible ... I constantly avoid and put things off till the last minute.

Sometimes it feels like I can't get anything done without the pressure of only having a short time left. Then I spring into action and feverishly get whatever it is done, usually badly because I'm rushing.
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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-10-2020, 02:14 AM
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I suspect chronic procrastination often goes hand-in-hand with social anxiety.

I'm terrible ... I constantly avoid and put things off till the last minute.

Sometimes it feels like I can't get anything done without the pressure of only having a short time left. Then I spring into action and feverishly get whatever it is done, usually badly because I'm rushing.
I also have a low motivation problem. The best thing I can recommend is finding some inspiration, because there is no cure for motivation. You just have to motivate yourself somehow. "If you want it as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful".

Here is the video, which there are two parts to it:

I totally understand if no one really understands what hes talking about. Just trying to help you guys find some motivation. I still struggle with motivation after watching this video like 5 years ago.
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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-12-2020, 08:33 PM
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Here is the video, which there are two parts to it ...
Thanks for sharing bro, I'll check it out!
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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-12-2020, 10:29 PM
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You just have to motivate yourself somehow. "If you want it as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful".
God I hate these people with this line of thinking. I hate motivational **** in general because it's always this mushy, one-size-fits-all feel-good rubbish. At best it's useless to nearly everyone listening, because usually there's more to your cycle of misery than just not wanting to be miserable. At worst, it's a covert way of saying "you just don't want it badly enough, unlike me, so go on suffering if that's what you really want". Every case is unique and, realistically, some are simply impossible to fix.
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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-12-2020, 11:32 PM
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God I hate these people with this line of thinking. I hate motivational **** in general because it's always this mushy, one-size-fits-all feel-good rubbish. At best it's useless to nearly everyone listening, because usually there's more to your cycle of misery than just not wanting to be miserable. At worst, it's a covert way of saying "you just don't want it badly enough, unlike me, so go on suffering if that's what you really want". Every case is unique and, realistically, some are simply impossible to fix.
Some people are permanently lazy and they can't help it, your right. Everyone has a different belief. And my belief is that there is nothing wrong with motivational speakers. They're just trying to help people and this guy doesnt charge for his speeches. So if your going to swear in this thread, please go somewhere else.
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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-13-2020, 05:20 AM
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Some people are permanently lazy and they can't help it, your right. Everyone has a different belief. And my belief is that there is nothing wrong with motivational speakers. They're just trying to help people and this guy doesnt charge for his speeches. So if your going to swear in this thread, please go somewhere else.
I might have to play devil's advocate here...

That particular video's underlying message is that you'll be successful at doing something when you're desperate for it. This however becomes difficult to apply to @Jared6034 's example involving delaying a phone call for a month, which means it wasn't critically urgent. He did eventually make the call, and so "not being successful" isn't the issue. Likely if someone's asking how they can motivate themselves to do mundane stuff like cleaning their room or make an appointment, it's because it isn't urgent at the time. Advising them that they'll be motivated when it becomes as crucial as a bodily instinct to avoid drowning arguably doesn't address their problem.

It's agreed @scho rchedEarth comments could have done without the swearing. I've actually gained much help from Eric Thomas' videos for many years (I actually was going to go to one of his seminars back in 2013 - bought tickets and everything, but couldn't go due to unforeseen circumstances).

But indeed I feel much of SchorchedEarth's criticisms are valid - and lack of motivation isn't necessarily related to laziness.

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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-15-2020, 02:47 AM
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I might have to play devil's advocate here...

That particular video's underlying message is that you'll be successful at doing something when you're desperate for it. This however becomes difficult to apply to @Jared6034 's example involving delaying a phone call for a month, which means it wasn't critically urgent. He did eventually make the call, and so "not being successful" isn't the issue. Likely if someone's asking how they can motivate themselves to do mundane stuff like cleaning their room or make an appointment, it's because it isn't urgent at the time. Advising them that they'll be motivated when it becomes as crucial as a bodily instinct to avoid drowning arguably doesn't address their problem.

It's agreed @scho rchedEarth comments could have done without the swearing. I've actually gained much help from Eric Thomas' videos for many years (I actually was going to go to one of his seminars back in 2013 - bought tickets and everything, but couldn't go due to unforeseen circumstances).

But indeed I feel much of SchorchedEarth's criticisms are valid - and lack of motivation isn't necessarily related to laziness.
Thanks for mentioning that SchorchedEarth's swearing was unnecessary. I didn't read the original post on this thread thoroughly enough and just posted what I thought was a quick solution. Congrads to you for reading all the text on the page. I am glad that you like Eric Thomas. He is my motivator. Amen.
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-15-2020, 09:51 AM
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I've always struggled with low motivation. I think I perceive/define myself by my anxiety/panic/dissociation in social settings so I anticipate failure and become avoidant. I can't get over the idea that just going out and "getting through" something is worth it anymore. But in the middle of the night when I awaken, it eats at me. I want to pursue a lot of things but I spend most of my time escaping or being passive. It spills over into my substantial alone time because I'm not wired to do things in a solitary fashion but I haven't been able to overcome my anxiety in order to work in a collaborative way.

...you gotta keep the goal in mind, develop tunnel vision to a certain extent. it's hard, and it's not for everyone.

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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-15-2020, 04:12 PM
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I have found that fear motivates me when it does not cripple me mentally. I am very pessimistic about my future and i fear uncertainty greatly. For example i fear that if i do not work hard enough and try to constantly improve myself at my job i will end up a homeless, poor, lonely, depressed old man etc.I would rather be motivated by a desire to fulfill my dreams or ambitions but since only have sa along with comordid disorders and not dreams or ambitions i will take fear since at least it keeps me going.I do not think that people with sa lack motivation but their fear of failing is greater and to be honest we are right because failure will make us far worse emotionally and prevent us from trying again.Personally i write some goals at the beginning of the year and try to complete them by the end of the year but i do it mostly to keep my mind occupied from making dark thoughts.My goals include minimum interference from other people so i do not have to worry about sa.Personally i have no illusions, i do not want to set unrealistic goals since i still freeze, stutter and block people's voices from my mind due to sa.The so called motivational videos on the net are worthless for us because they are made for a mentally stable audience.

There is no cure for social anxiety only remission and relapse.
It seems the only way for some sa members to feel good about themselves is to insult other sa members.It gives them a sense of superiority and satisfaction that could never have in their real lives.
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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-26-2020, 12:18 PM
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Thanks for mentioning that SchorchedEarth's swearing was unnecessary. I didn't read the original post on this thread thoroughly enough and just posted what I thought was a quick solution. Congrads to you for reading all the text on the page. I am glad that you like Eric Thomas. He is my motivator. Amen.
No worries - I always try to read through at least the posts of those I'm referring to, which does mean some additional efforts (but aside from being a habit of mine, it's also a skill I use in my day job in business analysis). Thanks for your comment, and I hope the motivation from Eric Thomas' material has brought you successes in life.

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