Insomnia and Personality
I have chronic insomnia which makes me sleep deprived most of my waking hours. Even as a little kid going to sleepovers I can remember always being the last to fall asleep and the last to wake up in the morning. I always missed the Saturday morning cartoons :(
In some ways I think it's like I have two personalities: one when I'm sleep deprived and another on the rare occasions that I'm fully awake. Sleep deprivation definitely makes me more quiet and withdrawn. It makes me agitated and I feel meaner and more judgmental. I hate myself when I'm tired.
On the few days that I feel awake my social anxiety doesn't go away exactly, but I feel much more positive, like I want to try to be social. It's like good sleep is a prerequisite to doing anything about social anxiety.
Anyone else struggling with insomnia or being tired all the time?
i can't sleep well when other people are around, it triggers my feeling of being watched and judged negatively, so sleepovers were kind of a pain for me, as well. i don't do them anymore because of that.
these days, i mostly don't sleep for two reasons:
a) i'm playing computer games or watching YT videos
b) i feel like i've made a mistake in public and i freak out over it while walking in circles in my room, sometimes till long into the night. or i wake up at 2a.m. or something and start walking in circles then because the memory of the mistake i made woke me up
this leaves me sleep deprived and irritable, of course. i kinda drag myself through the day, trying to avoid my anxiety and hoping to get home to my room safely without embarrassing myself in public.
i'm actually way less anxious when i'm not that tired... i can talk to people better, find it easier to concentrate on things other than feeling watched, etc. i'm currently trying to get a healthier sleep schedule, and even when i'm tired i at least try to be friendly towards my family and people in school. it doesn't always work out, but i think i'm making progress... well, except for when i stay up late reading&writing posts on SAS, of course ;-)
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