I get myself in trouble for being impulsive. Usually when I am in a ****ty mood, it's like my depression takes over and my thoughts are not clear at all and I act stupidly.
I think that if there was a witness of my behavior or that I could watch myself with the eyes of someone else I would be shock at how impulsive I can be. I don't have a steady job, didn't for the past 2 years, but I get a few gigs here and there. I had some savings as well. Usually I am not the kind of guy who spend a lot on clothes or restaurants. I stay home most of the time. But I always had a weird attraction for horology, wristwatches of all kind. Not really a collector but I had way too many. It's a pattern, I buy, sell, trade and re-buy. I find comfort in doing this. But it also bring lots of anxiety because I put financial stress on me over stupid objects.
I can spend hours and hours browsing the bay, looking for some vintage watches, I can spend a couple of hundred on a piece and be super excited, feeling great for a couple of hours and then I realize how stupid this was and that I'm gonna have to sell something in order to clear some money.
It's a real disease, a never ending pattern. I am never happy, always in search of something else. Worst part is that I seriously don't need any of them. I could sell everything and be relieved. It's one of the few hobbies that I enjoy but it's also a big source of anxiety. I guess it could be compared to gambling at some extent. Anyone in a similar situation? Where depression and anxiety makes you act impulsively?
I think that if there was a witness of my behavior or that I could watch myself with the eyes of someone else I would be shock at how impulsive I can be. I don't have a steady job, didn't for the past 2 years, but I get a few gigs here and there. I had some savings as well. Usually I am not the kind of guy who spend a lot on clothes or restaurants. I stay home most of the time. But I always had a weird attraction for horology, wristwatches of all kind. Not really a collector but I had way too many. It's a pattern, I buy, sell, trade and re-buy. I find comfort in doing this. But it also bring lots of anxiety because I put financial stress on me over stupid objects.
I can spend hours and hours browsing the bay, looking for some vintage watches, I can spend a couple of hundred on a piece and be super excited, feeling great for a couple of hours and then I realize how stupid this was and that I'm gonna have to sell something in order to clear some money.
It's a real disease, a never ending pattern. I am never happy, always in search of something else. Worst part is that I seriously don't need any of them. I could sell everything and be relieved. It's one of the few hobbies that I enjoy but it's also a big source of anxiety. I guess it could be compared to gambling at some extent. Anyone in a similar situation? Where depression and anxiety makes you act impulsively?