If it's not SA, then, what is it? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-09-2014, 06:40 PM Thread Starter
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If it's not SA, then, what is it?


After being on here since Jan. after a Google search for virginity (I spend way too much time worrying about that, at least this year) and reading various threads I'm beginning to wonder just what it is I do have?

I see so many here who can't leave the house, can't hold a job and what have you. I know in my past I had a hard time doing things but most of them I can without too much drama. I have a circle of friends even though I don't see them as often as I'd like (it's the age thing and they have families) and most of the time I get out and do things.

Take today for example. I was at Wally World gathering food stuffs and looking through the magazine rack when a random stranger mentioned the cost of magazines and that led to a short conversation about cars. Just normal stuff, ya know.

It's always been the dating thing I'm not good at. It's only been this year that I've had two "practice dates" I guess you could call them. Approach anxiety, love shy, General anxiety, or what?

Sorry if this seems random and disjointed, sometimes I don't articulate what I want to get across (another reason I'n single and all?). Just trying to figure myself out.

Look out world, I ain't finished with you yet!

Got to have a life before I pile into the ground!
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-09-2014, 09:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Handsome Beast View Post
After being on here since Jan. after a Google search for virginity (I spend way too much time worrying about that, at least this year) and reading various threads I'm beginning to wonder just what it is I do have?

I see so many here who can't leave the house, can't hold a job and what have you. I know in my past I had a hard time doing things but most of them I can without too much drama. I have a circle of friends even though I don't see them as often as I'd like (it's the age thing and they have families) and most of the time I get out and do things.

Take today for example. I was at Wally World gathering food stuffs and looking through the magazine rack when a random stranger mentioned the cost of magazines and that led to a short conversation about cars. Just normal stuff, ya know.

It's always been the dating thing I'm not good at. It's only been this year that I've had two "practice dates" I guess you could call them. Approach anxiety, love shy, General anxiety, or what?

Sorry if this seems random and disjointed, sometimes I don't articulate what I want to get across (another reason I'n single and all?). Just trying to figure myself out.
Have you tried talking to a therapist? I know I personally cannot diagnose you or answer your question specifically. I found that once I was diagnosed with SA/GA/PTSD, I was able to understand my anxieties and take steps in order to become a functioning citizen. I also understand when I have a relapse and know that it's ok.
My advice: talk to a therapist
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-10-2014, 04:49 AM Thread Starter
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I did but that was way back when I was 20-21 and more resistant to ideas and suggestions. The biggest problem for me is getting someone you mesh with that's interested in helping and not just the money (bad to stereotype, I know ). I live in a rural community and there aren't many places to go plus I need to find someplace that I can go to that doesn't interfere with work ( They seem to care only about profit and not so much about their employee's mental heath and well being ). These aren't excuses just general concerns.

Look out world, I ain't finished with you yet!

Got to have a life before I pile into the ground!
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-10-2014, 06:05 AM
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Ah, the rural living situation problem. I feel you man, I'm there too. I'm sure you've already heard this but have you thought of joining a dating service that might match you up to people who value the same things, live the same way as you want to? It might help you see women who want the same things out of life rather than fumbling through a bunch of dates with people who aren't on the same page as you. Less stress that way maybe?

So many people meet online now it's crazy. I hear that all the time.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-10-2014, 04:22 PM Thread Starter
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Well I am on okcupid and I'm trying to come up with other things besides that. I joined a local group on meetup but that's only been in the last few days. As far as matchmaking/dating services not online related I've looked but haven't found much here yet.

Here's what it's like around these parts. I live in a county of maybe 30-32k people and the town here has about 3000. Most people met in high school (like a friend of mine) and got married right out of it. Others went to college and/or moved away and met people that way. There aren't many things to do nor are there many organizations to join.

It's a big pain and when you've taken so long to get over things that held you back you feel you've missed those easier ways to meet up (not to mention being clueless and quite fat). Not that I'm gonna give up but it's tough!

Look out world, I ain't finished with you yet!

Got to have a life before I pile into the ground!
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-11-2014, 07:02 PM
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Are you basing all your life problems on not having a relationship?
If so, you may be accidentally ignoring and missing the real problems that you need to fix first..
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-12-2014, 04:25 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Redfan45x View Post
Are you basing all your life problems on not having a relationship?
If so, you may be accidentally ignoring and missing the real problems that you need to fix first..
For god sake's no! I've seen people and friends with enough relationship problems to know better than that; they (relationships) in of themselves don't fix everything(if anything). It may be one reason I avoided any though cause what some of them went through would be enough to scare anyone from ever wanting to get involved!

Look out world, I ain't finished with you yet!

Got to have a life before I pile into the ground!
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