Re: Identity Crisis
I'm a little late to the party, but for me, identity was HUGE, huge, a big breakthrough.
My theory on sa for some people (maybe not everybody) but some...
As a kid you go along in life, you're never far from the norm.
Almost every kid I knew back in the 80's did pretty much the same thing. Play outside with toys, go to birthday parties, act silly, do silly things, collected the same toys, watched the same cartoons. No one was on the internet questioning their identity, who am I, in any kind of fog.
Some are outgoing, some aren't. Some are popular. Some are picked last for handball or basketball. Some are Bart Simpson types getting into trouble. Some never get into trouble. You go along until 10, 11, 12, 13, 14.
Then I think *alot* changes. More than you realize. You put away the toys. Some people are left behind....bullying, picked on, poor self esteem, poor self image, you moved, friends moved away, didnt fit into a clique in school, scared of girls, didn't get a date.
The "normal people" go in one direction...getting a car, a job, a girlfriend, more independence.
You're going in another direction....very, very hard to get motivated, inconsistent job, no job, no gf, no dates, little if any independence and it becomes this self re-inforcing cycle. You find yourself at 22, 23, 24 *waaay* behind the ball. Other people might be getting married and you havent done anything.
And suffice to say, your identity gets completely messed up, foggy during this time.
Something that helped me get a clearer identity was going back to when I was 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. When things were "normal" or more normal than when I was 19 or 20.
And figure out what do you identify with, what do you like, where would you be if you didn't go in another direction?
For me, I identify with alot of movies from the 80's, sports, and "real stuff", down to earth. And positive things you've done. I think it shows up in alot of places, your house/bedroom, your avatar, user name, momentos, your clothes, lots of things.
It doesn't have to be a perfect definition, like a large painting, where every square inch is covered. Mine is still a work in progress. But its much, much better than holding onto the negative days of middle school, high school and living in that kind of fog.
Another question to ask yourself...what would you want to get into if you could go back in time? Maybe things you missed out on, didnt have time for, didnt have the confidence for. That gave me some things to think about.