Another problem I have in this relationship is having bad thoughts.. It constant.
I think of the things she did in the past, guys she has had sex with etc. It gets me jealous and I'm always thinking about it. Its very strange. I want to let go of the past but its like my mind dwells on it and its become habitual to think about it off and on all day..
Do all those thoughts revolve around what she did sexually? Does she still have contact with any ex's that set off the thoughts? Do any of the thoughts and feelings revolve around insecurities about yourself in that department? Jealousy arises from insecurity.
I'd break down all the thoughts, maybe writing them, to see exactly what comprises the jealousy.
If you make the thoughts explicit, you'll likely find a train of thought with each one based on the previous.
For instance the thoughts I get when my friend is late (which is unusual) go as follows
Maybe she's calling that person again --> Maybe she's being persuaded to move there after all --> If that happens she'll start putting the lover first --> I'll be sitting alone every evening --> I'll start going insane --> People always abandon and lie that they won't - I'll never trust again --> I'll get old and die alone
It gets out of hand. The above is replete with baseless assumptions. For all I know, she's just busy or caught in traffic. There's no reason to doubt her word she won't abandon me - she's already put me before a lover before.
Examining each one objectively gives some insight into the problem. It can be done as it occurs until habitual. It saved my backside this week. In the past I'd have had a serious episode after what happened (not related to the above example), upsetting those around me at the same time.