I understand where you’re coming from. I thought i was the only person who felt this way. I remember as a child I used to have such an expressive and funny personality, I was top of my classes and very clever.
I was sexually assaulted at 18 and then at 21, since then I have noticed a massive decline in my cognitive ability. I seem ‘fine’ to everyone else. But I know my own brain and over time I feel brain fogged, like I have no personality or identity anymore. I struggled to communicate my thoughts, and even then there’s not much there to work with. I feel embarrassed in social situations. I drink alcohol to get my brain working. I have also been diagnosed as dyslexic, which I never noticed as a child, never had problems reading or comprehending. It’s a struggle, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get back to how I used to be.
Sorry I can’t be of much help, I don’t even know how to help myself. I have tried everything.