I Get Attached Too Easily - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-13-2019, 04:37 AM Thread Starter
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I Get Attached Too Easily


Does anyone else get attached to people/things very easily? And then experience pain and sadness when it goes away? I mean extreme pain and sadness.

I get attached to stuff/people very easily. Sometimes it can happen within 1 or 2 days. I've always been like that ever since I was a child......and it was most noticeable with movies. I'd often go rent a DVD, and then watch it (because I was just interested in the story and plot), and then after watching it I'd feel a connection to it. And then I'd just re-watch segments of it multiple times for no apparent reason (even though I already know the story).

And then when I had to give the DVD back, I'd feel a really painful, heartbreaking sensation that would consume me and flip my entire life upside down. I would feel like I couldn't focus on anything else........it felt like I lost a long time friend. And then I'd want to rent the same movie again just to fill that void and feeling of sadness. Not any other movie, but the same one which I had watched.

I know it's not that uncommon to get attached to things, but this is just 2 days we're talking about. Its bizarre how such an attachment can form in just 2 days.

And then there's people. I talked to a girl some time back on an online dating site and it was nothing serious.....we just talked casually for some time before going on a date. After the date, we found out that we had nothing in common at all and then she stopped talking to me. I felt horribly depressed after that......and I wasn't even interested in her that much after the date because there was no chemistry....but I was sad because it was an attachment issue (just like movies).

I'm now scared to get attached to anything. I'm scared to even attempt to make friends or try online dating because I know ghosting is a part of it, but the pain that it brings me is too much to handle.
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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-13-2019, 01:39 PM
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Aw DukeDuck, you sound cute. I don't get attached unless I really like talking to someone, they're the type of person I like talking to. Then I would feel sad if they didn't message me for a long time unless they were busy but I would feel better after doing things and when I get out of the house and putting my trust in God that I would find another good friend if this one doesn't work out. So getting out there in the right place/environment and trying to find friends or a boyfriend/girlfriend who you would really like is a positive wellness thought. Also you said that you get attached to movies/DVD's. it's ok to re-watch them but you can also try thinking that there are other great movies/DVD's to watch too. That can help. Hope that helps you!
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-13-2019, 01:45 PM
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I get attached to people way too easily especially people that want to hurt me for some reason

Go then, there are other worlds than these.

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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-13-2019, 05:58 PM Thread Starter
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Aw DukeDuck, you sound cute. I don't get attached unless I really like talking to someone, they're the type of person I like talking to. Then I would feel sad if they didn't message me for a long time unless they were busy but I would feel better after doing things and when I get out of the house and putting my trust in God that I would find another good friend if this one doesn't work out. So getting out there in the right place/environment and trying to find friends or a boyfriend/girlfriend who you would really like is a positive wellness thought. Also you said that you get attached to movies/DVD's. it's ok to re-watch them but you can also try thinking that there are other great movies/DVD's to watch too. That can help. Hope that helps you!

Yeah its a battle between fixating on the same thing versus knowing that there's a bigger world out there to explore. I guess some of us are wired to fixate, we just gotta keep fighting it
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-13-2019, 06:01 PM Thread Starter
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I get attached to people way too easily especially people that want to hurt me for some reason

Could it be upbringing issues? I've heard that that can happen because of troubled childhoods
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-13-2019, 06:51 PM
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Yeah its a battle between fixating on the same thing versus knowing that there's a bigger world out there to explore. I guess some of us are wired to fixate, we just gotta keep fighting it
Wow you summed it up so wonderfully, good luck to you!
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-13-2019, 07:09 PM
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I'm very attached to certain things. Like, I have a really hard time parting with one of my books. But my attachment to people tends to be approximately equal to the attachment they have toward me.

I very rarely get attached to people. I don't obsess over celebrities or get crushes very often. And when someone I do care about does leave, I tend to get over them fairly quickly. If you're not interested in me, I'm not interested in you. It works out pretty well for me. I guess that means I have no attachment issues.

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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-13-2019, 11:10 PM
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-14-2019, 04:12 AM Thread Starter
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I'm very attached to certain things. Like, I have a really hard time parting with one of my books. But my attachment to people tends to be approximately equal to the attachment they have toward me.

I very rarely get attached to people. I don't obsess over celebrities or get crushes very often. And when someone I do care about does leave, I tend to get over them fairly quickly. If you're not interested in me, I'm not interested in you. It works out pretty well for me. I guess that means I have no attachment issues.

That's a gift right there. Sounds like you can control your feelings well and know who deserves it and who doesn't.
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-14-2019, 08:07 AM
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I get attached to animals and objects easily. With people it happens very rarely because I don't connect with most of them.

That's where the pain comes in
Like a second skeleton
Trying to fit beneath the skin
I can't fit the feelings in

-Fiona Apple
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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-14-2019, 11:06 AM
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That's a gift right there. Sounds like you can control your feelings well and know who deserves it and who doesn't.
Haha. Well, idk if control is the right word. I don't think about it at all. It's automatic. And it's not really about who deserves it or not. It's more that I just won't get interested unless I see some kind of interest. And when the interest disappears, so does my interest. It's never a conscious decision.

It doesn't have to be romantic interest, though. I've had crushes on people I spent a lot of time with who weren't interested in me romantically, but they were interested in me as a friend. And the opposite has happened as well. It just means that, while I might find a stranger attractive, I won't be attracted to them (that way) unless they show some kind of interest in me.

I never get crushes on people who aren't interested in me (nice) and I don't dwell on people who lose interest in me (also nice). I also don't experience jealousy, which might be related somehow. I'm the opposite of obsessive when it comes to people. I think it's more that there's a wire missing somewhere in my brain.

I'm glad, though, most of the time. (Sometimes it makes me feel like a weirdo.) All that obsession and jealousy sounds like it sucks. Though maybe that's different from attachment.

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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-14-2019, 11:53 AM
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There are things I become really obsessed with in a kind of autistic-special interest type way, but then I go through periods where I'm more apathetic as well. But yeah I've become obsessed with certain video games and other media and their universes etc before.

I get very attached to some people, but it's usually from a distance or based on some archetype I slot them into (in some cases we've never spoken.) I don't tend to get close to people I really like, but have often hung out with/spent more time talking to people who I was less attached to, so there have been lots of people I've spent a lot of time with and then either didn't care or wasn't that upset when things drifted apart/ended.

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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-14-2019, 06:24 PM Thread Starter
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Haha. Well, idk if control is the right word. I don't think about it at all. It's automatic. And it's not really about who deserves it or not. It's more that I just won't get interested unless I see some kind of interest. And when the interest disappears, so does my interest. It's never a conscious decision.

It doesn't have to be romantic interest, though. I've had crushes on people I spent a lot of time with who weren't interested in me romantically, but they were interested in me as a friend. And the opposite has happened as well. It just means that, while I might find a stranger attractive, I won't be attracted to them (that way) unless they show some kind of interest in me.

I never get crushes on people who aren't interested in me (nice) and I don't dwell on people who lose interest in me (also nice). I also don't experience jealousy, which might be related somehow. I'm the opposite of obsessive when it comes to people. I think it's more that there's a wire missing somewhere in my brain.

I'm glad, though, most of the time. (Sometimes it makes me feel like a weirdo.) All that obsession and jealousy sounds like it sucks. Though maybe that's different from attachment.

Yeah it does suck. Big time. I think the jealousy stems out of the attachment factor. It's a part of the package.



I also don't get crushes easily.....usually it happens with people who I've already interacted with at some point....otherwise they are just generic strangers.
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-14-2019, 06:32 PM Thread Starter
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There are things I become really obsessed with in a kind of autistic-special interest type way, but then I go through periods where I'm more apathetic as well. But yeah I've become obsessed with certain video games and other media and their universes etc before.

I get very attached to some people, but it's usually from a distance or based on some archetype I slot them into (in some cases we've never spoken.) I don't tend to get close to people I really like, but have often hung out with/spent more time talking to people who I was less attached to, so there have been lots of people I've spent a lot of time with and then either didn't care or wasn't that upset when things drifted apart/ended.

Wow same here! I easily get sucked into fictional universes and become obsessed with them for a period of time. It happened when I read the last Harry Potter book and even after I finished the book, I didn't want to leave the universe. I wanted to stay in it.....but I couldn't because the book was over lol


I also put some people into archetypes......it's a weird thing. Various things connect in your brain based on your principles and past experiences and they somehow manifest into one person
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-14-2019, 06:39 PM
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I get attached to people way too easily especially people that want to hurt me for some reason

Could it be upbringing issues? I've heard that that can happen because of troubled childhoods
could be a bit of that and very low self esteem

Go then, there are other worlds than these.

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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-15-2019, 07:45 AM Thread Starter
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I get attached to animals and objects easily. With people it happens very rarely because I don't connect with most of them.

I get attached to dogs almost instantly. Animals are very pure and simple (in a good way). It's easier to find attachment there.
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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-16-2019, 11:07 AM
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There was a time where I became attached too quickly to people because I just admired them for who they were and I'll be honest... I was desperate to make a friend, since I don't really have many. I just needed someone to talk with and someone that I could relate with. Truly hated being alone, it made me feel lonely and sad, this is what truly depressed me because of me trying to find friends and people to hang out with. Never had any of that really, especially after High School, it got harder for me to find friends. Eventually I started doing more for myself and trying to focus on my own interests, so I could find friends once I gained confidence in myself. I'm getting out a lot more and every so often I'll go see a movie which always cheers me up in the end. c: I love movies.

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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 09:37 AM Thread Starter
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There was a time where I became attached too quickly to people because I just admired them for who they were and I'll be honest... I was desperate to make a friend, since I don't really have many. I just needed someone to talk with and someone that I could relate with. Truly hated being alone, it made me feel lonely and sad, this is what truly depressed me because of me trying to find friends and people to hang out with. Never had any of that really, especially after High School, it got harder for me to find friends. Eventually I started doing more for myself and trying to focus on my own interests, so I could find friends once I gained confidence in myself. I'm getting out a lot more and every so often I'll go see a movie which always cheers me up in the end. c: I love movies.

Same here. I don't like being alone. The worst part is when you have to sit alone in class or a public space while everyone else is with their groups of friends.


I had a girlfriend/best friend years ago and I didn't really feel that alone back then........but I never felt fulfilled. Only felt fulfilled until I got serious about life and gained ambition. I guess that's what some people mean when they say that real happiness comes from inside......but I still think having a friend will make the journey more pleasant.
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 11:57 AM
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Yes, but it does not mean that I let fool myself. I then just cut the ties and suffer alone as long as I have to. Sometimes it takes years.

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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 01:08 PM
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I used to think this but nah I probably just really liked them.

haven't gotten attached to anyone for a while.

I get attached to ideas which are unrealistic, pursue things which are never going to happen, and most of it is just in my head. it takes me away from ****ty reality for a while at least.

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