I don't like sex - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 12:49 PM Thread Starter
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I don't like sex


It is hard to explain, I don't feel the need to have sex. I am attracted to women, but I don't feel the urge to have sex.

If I talk about sex, I feel uncomfortable, and it is strange.

Is this normal?
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post #2 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 12:52 PM
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... yes ... sometimes sex is uncomfortable
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post #3 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 02:56 PM
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You could be asexual.
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post #4 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 03:03 PM
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post #5 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 10:21 AM
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Probably not common, but perfectly fine. Just take your time, and if you never feel any desire then that's ok too.
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post #6 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 11:09 AM
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I predict that your feelings will be quite popular by the end of the decade. We are moving towards an asexual era.
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post #7 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 11:19 AM
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have you had sex?

outside of an intimate relationship people have boundaries etc which are uncomfortable to cross... including talking about sex. which is very normal and expected. I never felt the "urge" to have sex unless sex was clearly available or habituated.

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post #8 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 11:27 AM
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I like sex just fine. I just don't want the (financial, emotional and psychological) baggage from it. If you have less than a million dollars, you don't need any of that. If you have more than a million dollars, you shouldn't want that.

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post #9 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 11:44 AM
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I predict that your feelings will be quite popular by the end of the decade. We are moving towards an asexual era.
I think so too (well maybe not the decade but eventually,) actually few people focus on this element but it probably mostly boils down to something as simple as population density.

Predictions are that the population will stabilise globally at about 11 billion but the most densely populated areas like Europe and Asia and certain regions of North America will (and are,) slowing down first. So any significant growth that continues to happen will be mostly in sub-Saharan Africa.

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post #10 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 12:17 PM
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I think so too, actually few people focus on this element but it probably mostly boils down to something as simple as population density.
I often wonder that since nature can't control wholesale population with plagues anymore if it has created a scenario where it will just make people desire sex less as a sort of backdoor population control.
But then I'm not so sure that nature is that smart.
Also alot of people are getting their needs met digitally now and going out and finding worthwhile people to touch is a chore, it's messy, in every sort of way. It takes time, money, and energy to live a promiscuous lifestyle for not much more thrill than can be had binge watching something or scrolling a screen.
In the pre-digital past it was either sit at home and watch one of your three TV channels or go out and get laid.
Not that I think all of this is healthy because as the OP said, the desires are still there, and I think that now people are focusing those desires on a sort of bland workism. Throwing themselves into their careers as a distraction from their old school desires.

Hence we are seeing more articles like these:

https://www.theguardian.com/society/...n-until-monday
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post #11 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 12:24 PM
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Originally Posted by funnynihilist View Post
I often wonder that since nature can't control wholesale population with plagues anymore if it has created a scenario where it will just make people desire sex less as a sort of backdoor population control.
But then I'm not so sure that nature is that smart.
Also alot of people are getting their needs met digitally now and going out and finding worthwhile people to touch is a chore, it's messy, in every sort of way. It takes time, money, and energy to live a promiscuous lifestyle for not much more thrill than can be had binge watching something or scrolling a screen.
In the pre-digital past it was either sit at home and watch one of your three TV channels or go out and get laid.
Not that I think all of this is healthy because as the OP said, the desires are still there, and I think that now people are focusing those desires on a sort of bland workism. Throwing themselves into their careers as a distraction from their old school desires.

Hence we are seeing more articles like these:

https://www.theguardian.com/society/...n-until-monday
Yeah I think nature is pure chaos so this idea that it's somehow levelling things or whatever seems like an anthropomorphisation akin to re-building God (and I see this attitude from social Darwinist atheists a lot, you'd be surprised how many people worship evolution/nature as a God that can do no wrong or can't be questioned. Replace the words nature/evolution with the Abrahamic God and you'll get different groups of people echoing all the opinions Christians and Muslims have about God.) The truth is, many of it's effects are and always have been dysgenic.

Anyway in research population density tends to be focused on less than some more politically motivated angles, but there certainly is a connection that has been found when they've examined it between that and it makes sense because it has an impact on fertility for every other species and even microbiology.

I'm not convinced about technology being as important as population density because you can see in other mammals they'll sit and do literally nothing at a certain point and also self harm, which seems to be what many mammals do - pain is the default stimulus replacement for boredom not sex. Might also explain why everyone wants to start a war (though many things contribute to that drive including reducing outgroup members.)

You need the illusion of space and possibilities for resource acquisition - not being created in the 'let's make flats the size of a taxi cab' era.

edit: but there are a lot of intersecting factors on a higher level yeah, often stemming from the abundance of people in the first place so some examples:

1. easy access to porn/entertainment

2. female education/intelligence

3. A socially constructed system where 162 billionaires have the same wealth as 50% of Humanity.

4. sociosexual orientation

edit again: More controversially certain elements of how some people's sexualities are working now kind of resemble prison environments, but it's not a large enough group and there are too many confounding variables for me to conclude that that pattern is necessarily meaningful. I've found some really peculiar anecdotes though.

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post #12 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 01:31 PM
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Do you have sexual desire? If not, you may be a heteroromantic asexual.


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post #13 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 02:36 PM Thread Starter
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Yes, a lot, that is why I am certain about the way I feel. It is like my friends talk about it, and joke about it. I am just there like "I am honestly not bothered", and they are like "What? You wouldn't shag her?", and I go again "No.". I just don't feel the urge, like my friends take the piss out of me because I am against one night stands
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post #14 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 03:16 PM
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Yes, a lot, that is why I am certain about the way I feel. It is like my friends talk about it, and joke about it. I am just there like "I am honestly not bothered", and they are like "What? You wouldn't shag her?", and I go again "No.". I just don't feel the urge, like my friends take the piss out of me because I am against one night stands
It's probably not worth thinking about unless you get into a relationship with someone, a minority of people aren't into casual sex so it could be as simple as that.

Some people heard my words and thought it meant they knew me
Truth is, I don't exist, I'm just a soundtrack to your movie
Some background figure in a story that's already scripted
And what I feel's just felt for you to hear me ****ing spit it
I jump in many different heads through these words and poems
Always hoping maybe the next leap'll be my leap home

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post #15 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 05:40 PM
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Excellent choice of music there mate - bit of a personal favourite actually.
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post #16 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-29-2020, 06:00 AM
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I predict that your feelings will be quite popular by the end of the decade. We are moving towards an asexual era.
It might become like in the movie Demolition Man with Stallone where people have sex virtually with a helmet and can barely touch eachother in real life lol.

I just hope it won't be like in the movie Surrogates with Bruce Willis though.

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post #17 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-29-2020, 01:50 PM
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It may be an issue with testosterone level. Common advice for guys is to get that checked.
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post #18 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-29-2020, 03:06 PM
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It may be an issue with testosterone level. Common advice for guys is to get that checked.
True facts...
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post #19 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-29-2020, 04:48 PM
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Its fine not to want to hook up with randoms. Yeah other guys will annoy you if you turn down sex. It's mind blowing to some people that their male friend isn't a sex machine. You don't have to force yourself to do anything uncomfortable and that includes going all the way with another person. Better off finding people who accept you if they have issues with stuff that's none of their business.

Don't let people treat you like dirt.
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post #20 of 43 (permalink) Old 01-29-2020, 07:41 PM
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I predict that your feelings will be quite popular by the end of the decade. We are moving towards an asexual era.
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Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
I like sex just fine. I just don't want the (financial, emotional and psychological) baggage from it. If you have less than a million dollars, you don't need any of that. If you have more than a million dollars, you shouldn't want that.
There's more to both of these points. One important issue that hasn't been addressed...….coochie cooties. It's baggage, leakage, and bodily damage. Aversion will lead to abstinence = no trading views of ceiling architecture.

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