"I don't know how to react" - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 05-22-2013, 09:10 AM Thread Starter
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"I don't know how to react"


When I had no social phobia, this thing would be on automatic pilot, I wouldn't thought how am I supposed to react I just reacted. Now in most situations, ordinary situation like someone says "Nice hat" , "That car is so fast" or many other ordinary things I'm always asking myself "How should I react to this ? what am I supposed to do now ? what should I say ?" I know it's not normal and I don't know why I think this way. Is there any way to stop thinking like this and just act naturally again ?
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 05-22-2013, 01:11 PM
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I was about to reply same as your answer as I experience same issue too, time to time.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 05-22-2013, 01:20 PM
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Hey Empty7, I experience this too. Think we are really doubting ourselves when we feel like this.. & uncertain that others will accept us. Has something particular happened to make you feel like that?

Be kind to yourself . It usually works better if we can try to think something new, rather than trying to "stop thinking"... then the new thought can help crowd out the old or replace it.

Try to purposely think kind, accepting thoughts of yourself. e.g. it's ok if I'm not sure what the right response is here, that's ok. It's ok to feel this feeling.

And try to tell yourself you did a good job there. You're not sure if you answered right etc, you feel uncertain, but that's ok.

The darkest hour is just before dawn
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 05-22-2013, 09:31 PM
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I just go "Yeah"
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 05-23-2013, 08:00 AM Thread Starter
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Yeah, you're right Color, thank you, the thing is I'm doubting myself. I'll just treat this problem like something stupid that doesn't even diserves attention and try to think like a normal person "There is nothing wrong if I either shut up or talk, I'll keep talking and keep saying everything that goes through my head, and even if I won't talk or I won't react in a certain way, there is nothing wrong with that, it's more important that I feel good rather than the other person likes me".
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-23-2013, 12:46 PM Thread Starter
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For people that can relate to this "I don't know what to say / what to do / how to react" there is nothing wrong with you it's just a side effect of social anxiety, I have managed to overcome this by using CBT. The real problem wasn't that I didn't know how to react because there is no proper way to react, there is no certain way to react, there is no weird way to react, everybody reacts in a different way and there is nothing wrong with that, this is just as we humans are made. The real problem was that I was very self-conscious and negative (It wasn't that I was on automatic pilot, there is no such thing as an automatic pilot, it was that I wasn't afraid of my behavoir) so I would doubt myself thinking "what I did was wrong" even if it wasn't (That thing with act naturally is going to happen when you overcome social anxiety because you can't act liberal when you are dead afraid of other people's opinion). I can see now how irrational that way of thinking was but back then I was paralised by this thought. So if you have this problem too try cognitive behavorial therapy.

"Often the difference between a succesful man and a failure is not one's better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on his ideas, take a calculated risk, and to act."
"A healthy mentality is the one that should try to fix the things that doesn't work well, not leave and cope with them."
"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him."
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...xiety-1585210/
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