I am a fart noise in the Symphony that is the Cosmos - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-02-2019, 02:44 PM
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The brass section? A trumpet? lol
The butthorn.

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post #22 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-02-2019, 05:30 PM
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post #23 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-02-2019, 06:01 PM
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I am a quiet queef in the night.
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post #24 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-02-2019, 09:36 PM Thread Starter
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I am a quiet queef in the night.
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I think maybe I'm the underwater fart sound. You know that kind of tortured, growly gurgle it makes when you're in the tub and you fart (and somehow the tub amplifies it like an aquatic speaker box)?
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Well, it's important for the cosmos to fart last time it held it in too long the big bang happened & now we wonder why we're in a world of $h1t.
Mesmerizing.
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post #25 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 03:54 AM
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The butthorn.
Apparently the Butthorn is a primitive musical instrument made of wood & played by Neanderthals

While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man, wishing he could talk softly in her ear...

While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND, & INSULT her,
there's a man flirting with her, & reminding her, how wonderful she is.

While you HURT your woman,
there's a man wishing he could show her love

While you make your woman CRY,
there's a man stealing smiles from her.
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post #26 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 04:17 AM
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Apparently the Butthorn is a primitive musical instrument made of wood & played by Neanderthals
Only Gary Busey knows.

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post #27 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 04:27 AM
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That he does Dave lol

While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man, wishing he could talk softly in her ear...

While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND, & INSULT her,
there's a man flirting with her, & reminding her, how wonderful she is.

While you HURT your woman,
there's a man wishing he could show her love

While you make your woman CRY,
there's a man stealing smiles from her.
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post #28 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 09:28 AM
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I'm a cold coming on the day before a vacation.

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post #29 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 12:06 PM
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You should move to Mass A Toots Us.

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post #30 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 02:54 PM
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I'm a torn rotator cuff in a professional baseball player.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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post #31 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 03:20 PM
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post #32 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 04:00 PM Thread Starter
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I suppose some might feel like

a bunny turd in a bowl of cocoa puffs

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post #33 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 08:10 PM
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post #34 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-04-2019, 04:30 PM
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I am a pornstar that can't get it up
There are actually many of those. Really odd to see a dude with a completely limp noodle working with an insanely hot chick and getting paid for it to boot.

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post #35 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-04-2019, 05:14 PM
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Originally Posted by 3stacks View Post
I am a pornstar that can't get it up
There are actually many of those. Really odd to see a dude with a completely limp noodle working with an insanely hot chick and getting paid for it to boot.
oh yeah I'm not surprised actually

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post #36 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-05-2019, 05:36 PM
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post #37 of 37 (permalink) Old 07-05-2019, 09:05 PM
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I'm a cracked Netflix DVD when popcorn's been popped, and you're seated comfortably, ready to watch the movie.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
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