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-   -   Getting over physical scars (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f33/getting-over-physical-scars-1506218/)

650066 06-15-2015 11:23 AM

Getting over physical scars
 
I had a cutting problem in my teenage years. Dealing with depression and anxiety was stressing me out and I started hating myself for being so weak. Cutting was my way of punishment and letting out emotional tension. I never thought about how it would affect me in the future. It lasted for a couple of years, and then I stopped. And now Iím left these scars I would rather forget about but can never escape from. They run from the top of my thighs down to my knees. So I can never wear cute skirts or shorts without having some kind of hosiery to cover them up. And I live in Texas so thatís very unfortunate with this scorching hot weather we have. Bye, bye bikinis.

What kills me the most is the thought of other people seeing them and start looking at me differently. I donít want to be labeled as troubled or crazy. Itís embarrassing to have to explain to someone how weak you were. This, along with my anxiety and depression has caused me intimacy problems. Iím learning to accept them, but itís very hard.

Has anyone dealt with self injury? If so, how do you feel about your scars? How do your loved ones feel/ react about them?

Kevin001 06-15-2015 04:30 PM

Wow, I relate to this so much. I have bad scars on my thighs too. I remember getting Neosporin antibacterial gel when I was in the hospital (helped a little). A lot of my scars will be there forever. I really feel for you being a girl, it limits your clothes options. You can try using some scar creams or if you have money there are laser treatment options. Don't beat yourself up about it, just learn from it.

CiciRomance 06-18-2015 11:09 AM

I was similar in high school and have scars in the same place. They've faded quite a lot on their own, but I notice during summer they come out more (maybe because I tan). Sometimes I feel ashamed of my scars but other times I just accept it's who I am. I don't hide them and only very few people have ever noticed. My mom did notice them after a few years and I told her simply that I used to hurt myself. I didn't say much else but she seemed to just accept it. The other day one of my newer friends noticed and he asked me about it. I just told him not to worry about it. You don't have to tell anyone anything. It's your own story, it's your business. If they're really your friend they will continue to be your friend despite the discovery. He accepted my answer and we moved on.

Bondi 06-18-2015 06:17 PM

If your dating new people I might suggest wearing something that shows a little of the leg, enough so a new date can immediately see that there is a scar there - rather than waste your time dating them a bunch and investing time only to find out they have some stupid issue.

From a guys perspective I can say a woman's face is the most important to me, second would be her being in shape, depending on how bad the leg scars are they may not make any difference to my attraction at all believe it or not. Just hit the gym to get in shape, dress nice and do what you can to make up for it in other ways - which will also help your self confidence.

TenYears 06-18-2015 06:36 PM

I would suggest covering them as much as possible if you're seeing someone new, with either makeup or clothes. That's really all that you can do tbh.

I have lots of scars, I mean lots. I've never even counted them all, but I'm pretty sure it's over 100.

My gf has seen them. I think that letting her see them (when we got into the shower together for the first time) was probably one of the hardest things I've had to do, maybe ever. I seriously, seriously thought about just calling the whole thing off, making up an excuse, something.

But I didn't.

And she's (I think) OK with it. She asked me where I got them from. And I wouldn't tell her. And she asked like three more times, and I wouldn't tell her, and she dropped it. It's never come up again.

She's not stupid. I think she knows where they came from, and that they were self-inflicted.

I can't recommend doing this because, you know, some people might just freak out or something, idk. You never know how someone might react.

Edit: I just want to add, I would never judge somebody based on this. I would think that they are a stronger, a much stronger person for having gone through whatever it is that caused them so much pain. I really would see it as an attribute, a strength, something to be proud of. And I think that anyone that truly cared for you would think the same, and help you to become stronger.

Phoenix08 06-21-2015 08:06 AM

I spent most of my teenage years cutting. I have scars all over my arms and a few on my thighs. For some stupid reason, I got a tattoo above the one on my wrist. It says Gefallen meaning The Fallen in German. It had been my attempt to remind myself not to keep cutting. It failed and now people ask about my tattoo. It terrifies me to have them look at it because I know they can see my scar. I know they know what caused it.

I can get away with lying about why I got the tattoo. So far no one has asked about the scar. If someone truly loves you, they won't question your scars or make you talk when you don't want to. My husband has seen mine and has never asked about them. Which works for me.

caughtinthematrix 06-23-2015 12:41 PM

Stop hiding them, Be proud of them. If any one is going to dislike you because of them, They are people you dont need to know.

Unkn0wn Pleasures 06-23-2015 08:35 PM

You could try tattoo-covering make up. Expensive and time consuming but it gives you another option when you just don't want to wear long sleeves/pants etc. Actually, I just bought some yesterday, hopefully it works :/

nubly 06-30-2015 07:17 PM

Mine are on my arms, chest, belly and legs but they don't bother me as the only time anyone (outside my gf) can see them is when I'm at the pool or at the beach.

joked35 06-30-2015 09:32 PM

http://www.mederma.com/products/overnight-scar-cream

I don't know if it works or not. Hell I don't even know what I'm linking you to right now.

Hope it works.

catssarelife 03-22-2016 06:51 PM

I used to when I was younger as well, and though mine have mostly faded, I still know they're there. I hate having to see them.


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