Feeling bored/lack of interest in anything. - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-02-2020, 09:28 PM Thread Starter
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Feeling bored/lack of interest in anything.


Back when I was a kid and teenager I used to be full of energy and enthusiastic about stuff like getting new video games, watching cartoons and movies, playing with friends and hanging out, going to the beach or pool and playing around and so on. I used to get all excited to go to and would enjoy events like christmas parties and birthdays. But now as an adult my enjoyment in these things have dropped off a cliff. I'll be at a birthday party where people are talking and laughing and kids running around having fun while I'm just sitting there bored half to death. I have to force myself to smile and act like I'm enjoying myself. Small talk doesn't interest me since it's just a dead end so I don't even feel like talking and wont unless I'm spoken to. I haven't played a video game in years. I'd buy a game and within less 10 minutes I'd turn it off from lack of interest. It even progressed to where new games I thought would be cool to play have ended up not even being taken out of their case and installed as the energy to do so just isn't in me anymore. It's easier to just lay on my bed thinking or click on youtube videos that sounds interesting and watch them instead. Porn doesn't interest me like it used to as a teenager. I feel like my energy has just been zapped away and have little in interest in anything apart from lying down, eating, drinking alcohol and messing around on the computer. Anyone feel like this? Is this from a lack of social contact where depression just slowly creeps up on you? Once I finished high school I basically lost all meaningful social contact with people.
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-31-2020, 02:53 PM
 
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@samboychippies Yes I can relate a lot to what you're saying. I feel this way all the time and it sucks and is frustrating. I'm not really interested in anything anymore. I never feel like I have the energy to do anything and most things just seem to take too much effort.

I didn't experience this kind of apathy when I was younger (kid, teen). I never ever had a social life at all... but I still got excited about stuff like music, video games, movies etc. Now there's no real excitement. Playing a video game now or watching a film is more just trying to distract myself with something to stave off boredom or take my mind off something that's making me anxious. I can't seem to enjoy anything as much as I used to.

I spend so much time just sitting around, doing nothing. At it's worst I'll literally just stay in bed for days- because I feel tired, and nothing is appealing enough to cause me to want to get up. My mom will actually start to worry that I'm dead because I don't come out of my room. I'll take sleeping pills and sleep as long as possible or just lay there daydreaming if I can't sleep. I think what you're talking about is definitely a result of depression. In my case depression makes me very lazy and unmotivated as well as causing a loss of interest in everything.
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-01-2020, 06:32 PM
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Apathy...complete and total apathy. Especially at work. I don’t care about my job, my company or most of my co-workers. I am doing the absolute bare minimum required of me and will not go above and beyond that. Things I once enjoyed like shopping and dining out are not enjoyable anymore. I live in a miserable, depressing place which makes things even worse. I have no hope or any kind and I am just going thru the motions right now and I really don’t care about anything nor am I interested in dealing with people.
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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-04-2020, 05:36 AM
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Originally Posted by samboychippies View Post
Back when I was a kid and teenager I used to be full of energy and enthusiastic about stuff like getting new video games, watching cartoons and movies, playing with friends and hanging out, going to the beach or pool and playing around and so on. I used to get all excited to go to and would enjoy events like christmas parties and birthdays. But now as an adult my enjoyment in these things have dropped off a cliff. I'll be at a birthday party where people are talking and laughing and kids running around having fun while I'm just sitting there bored half to death. I have to force myself to smile and act like I'm enjoying myself. Small talk doesn't interest me since it's just a dead end so I don't even feel like talking and wont unless I'm spoken to. I haven't played a video game in years. I'd buy a game and within less 10 minutes I'd turn it off from lack of interest. It even progressed to where new games I thought would be cool to play have ended up not even being taken out of their case and installed as the energy to do so just isn't in me anymore. It's easier to just lay on my bed thinking or click on youtube videos that sounds interesting and watch them instead. Porn doesn't interest me like it used to as a teenager. I feel like my energy has just been zapped away and have little in interest in anything apart from lying down, eating, drinking alcohol and messing around on the computer. Anyone feel like this? Is this from a lack of social contact where depression just slowly creeps up on you? Once I finished high school I basically lost all meaningful social contact with people.
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Originally Posted by Kamikaze View Post
@samboychippies Yes I can relate a lot to what you're saying. I feel this way all the time and it sucks and is frustrating. I'm not really interested in anything anymore. I never feel like I have the energy to do anything and most things just seem to take too much effort.

I didn't experience this kind of apathy when I was younger (kid, teen). I never ever had a social life at all... but I still got excited about stuff like music, video games, movies etc. Now there's no real excitement. Playing a video game now or watching a film is more just trying to distract myself with something to stave off boredom or take my mind off something that's making me anxious. I can't seem to enjoy anything as much as I used to.

I spend so much time just sitting around, doing nothing. At it's worst I'll literally just stay in bed for days- because I feel tired, and nothing is appealing enough to cause me to want to get up. My mom will actually start to worry that I'm dead because I don't come out of my room. I'll take sleeping pills and sleep as long as possible or just lay there daydreaming if I can't sleep. I think what you're talking about is definitely a result of depression. In my case depression makes me very lazy and unmotivated as well as causing a loss of interest in everything.
That's sad. Sounds like a terrible thing to suffer from. There's a difference between "oh, I can't be bothered today " and this severe apathy thing you have.

Do either of you have a.job or have had a job? Maybe if you're unemployed, this is a big cause of that. Getting a job where there's good people there can help to to begin to establish some sort of social life. The problem.is now is you're feeling like this, getting a job would be very hard. Unless you're on welfare and they're kicking your butt into making you look for work.

Waiting for a beam to break through here,
A chain-way vision bright and clear,
This must be it,
Longed for Bliss,
First it was so quiet and now I know I am not alone in here.

___________
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride, nobody gonna slow me down. I gotta keep on moovin!

If you can read this, you must look at my profile page. I like people who have attention to detail, and curiosity. Have a look, the lion's torso is on diplay :-p
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-04-2020, 12:24 PM
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I kind of know how you feel. It's worse at some parts of the month than others though. Sometimes I just feel completely dead/hollow, othertimes I feel a bit better and not completely bored/dead but still very lacking in motivation (I've also always struggled with motivation towards most things.) The only stronger emotions I have most of the time are negative ones but that's not consistent either.

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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-04-2020, 12:50 PM
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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-04-2020, 12:52 PM
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-04-2020, 08:03 PM
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Yes, I relate with everything you said - including games and Youtube...I thought this was just called depression. Feeling like that everyday is why I ended up finally reaching out to a psychiatrist.
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2020, 01:10 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by KILOBRAVO View Post
That's sad. Sounds like a terrible thing to suffer from. There's a difference between "oh, I can't be bothered today " and this severe apathy thing you have.

Do either of you have a.job or have had a job? Maybe if you're unemployed, this is a big cause of that. Getting a job where there's good people there can help to to begin to establish some sort of social life. The problem.is now is you're feeling like this, getting a job would be very hard. Unless you're on welfare and they're kicking your butt into making you look for work.
I work but I can tell you that doesn't change anything. Occasionally I'll feel normal when I forget about my social anxiety and just enjoy a real good conversation or have fun at a party. But then I get depressed once it ends because I know these events rarely happen.
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2020, 05:57 AM
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Originally Posted by samboychippies View Post
I work but I can tell you that doesn't change anything. Occasionally I'll feel normal when I forget about my social anxiety and just enjoy a real good conversation or have fun at a party. But then I get depressed once it ends because I know these events rarely happen.
So it sounds to me that the real problem is lack of meaningful social contact with other people. It sounds like in the beginning material things such as games and all that pacified you because it provided just enough distraction and something else to focus on, but as time has went on and you've got older those things don't hold water anymore. It sounds like if you got out more at things like parties and have a drink etc, you'd feel better. Maybe of you got a decent GF or whatever as well and had other things to do, that'd help.

Waiting for a beam to break through here,
A chain-way vision bright and clear,
This must be it,
Longed for Bliss,
First it was so quiet and now I know I am not alone in here.

___________
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride, nobody gonna slow me down. I gotta keep on moovin!

If you can read this, you must look at my profile page. I like people who have attention to detail, and curiosity. Have a look, the lion's torso is on diplay :-p
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2020, 06:42 AM
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I don't think I get bored so much as I am very low energy now that my health isn't so great and that severely restricts my enthusiasm for exploring. I pretty much always have something unpleasant going on with my physical health, whether that be pain, foggy thinking or just plain exhaustion. So whenever I do get excited about something, it usually only stimulates some other kind of not good stuff. Like trying to focus on something in particular often makes me feel deeply confused and dizzy. Which gets tiring quick if I try to fight my way through it.

I was never bored when I was in better physical health.

/WYSD
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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-06-2020, 04:52 PM
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What you guys are describing sounds like anhedonia, an inability to find enjoyment in anything. I've gone through periods like this myself.

With the lack of interest in games and stuff, it's like the other person said, people change over time. Maybe what interested you back then simply doesn't hold any interest any more.

What I've found helpful is exercise (I get to the gym most days), finding the right medication, and doing something you truly enjoy, that makes you "forget yourself", gives you a buzz and makes you feel good.

That last one is difficult if nothing springs to mind, I know. I find it hard being open to trying new stuff. I'm lucky in that I've had an ongoing interest that "does it" for me.
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-09-2020, 10:12 PM Thread Starter
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So it sounds to me that the real problem is lack of meaningful social contact with other people. It sounds like in the beginning material things such as games and all that pacified you because it provided just enough distraction and something else to focus on, but as time has went on and you've got older those things don't hold water anymore. It sounds like if you got out more at things like parties and have a drink etc, you'd feel better. Maybe of you got a decent GF or whatever as well and had other things to do, that'd help.
Maybe. Problem is anxiety gets in the way of socializing and more importantly connecting properly and this makes me lose interest in people or them lose interest in me because I appear off in some aspect they can't quite put their finger on. Obviously I can't reveal this aspect of my life to potentially new friends either as this could make me come across as an antisocial weirdo and someone to be avoided (talking from experience here so this isn't just my fearful imagination). Plus I found over time lots of people suck anyways since they end up ditching you at some point and/or were faking their friendship.
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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 02-09-2020, 10:23 PM Thread Starter
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What you guys are describing sounds like anhedonia, an inability to find enjoyment in anything. I've gone through periods like this myself.

With the lack of interest in games and stuff, it's like the other person said, people change over time. Maybe what interested you back then simply doesn't hold any interest any more.

What I've found helpful is exercise (I get to the gym most days), finding the right medication, and doing something you truly enjoy, that makes you "forget yourself", gives you a buzz and makes you feel good.

That last one is difficult if nothing springs to mind, I know. I find it hard being open to trying new stuff. I'm lucky in that I've had an ongoing interest that "does it" for me.
This adhedonia hit me when I was about 18/19. Smoked about half gram of bud without realizing the effect it would have on me and had a massive freak out that left me shaken up and struggling to figure out what had happened. After that I began suffering from depersonalisation, depression, constant anxiety about developing schizophrenia, all my social fears felt heightened, and suddenly interest and pleasure in life dropped off. The depersonalisation and fear of losing my mind cleared up but I've been going downhill ever since with depression and adhedonia due to lack of social contact. Pretty much the only thing that makes me feel like doing things is alcohol and stimulants. They are antidepressents to me.
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