Fear of paying attention and what to do about it?
Not sure what there is to be afraid of, but I think that there might be some fear associated with paying attention. Which could loop back to being clumsy, distant, and out of touch in general. This sounds like a nasty loop here because if I didn't pay attention, I'm not sure I'd know there'd might be a tucked away fear of being in the present moment. Maybe it's tethered to a fear of possibly missing something in the future; or that things are just too overwhelming; or maybe it's not fear, and it's actually boredom, and I create the fear to buffer the boredom; but then it'll just be a fear of boredom, in which one replaces one fear with another? And I'm not so sure why the stuffs in one's mind is labeled as more exciting than what's going on in the present.
I think I might need some help here.