Fear of Intimacy
Hello! Long story short, Iím an artist, and a musician dealing with a few leftover depression/trauma symptoms. I love socializing with people, I crave better relationships with people, and better friendships. I want to get started networking for my business, and sharing my talents with the rest of the world - someone besides myself.
Because I have a fear of being vulnerable. Iím the person wearing headphones and staring out the window in buses, or not quite meeting the eye of people my age, I rarely go outside - only when other people in the house are and I have to go. Iím so afraid that if people look at my stuff, listen to my music, theyíll criticize my creative choices, and/or not get it, or at worse, be mean, that I stopped writing songs months ago. I want to collaborate with other artists, but I havenít written a full song in a while because thereís so much I want to say and itís all very revealing, and most definitely controversial to the 100+ religious people I grew up with and am still too close to. Thereís no way I can live my life blocking my entire family and old community on every social media site. Iíve always been a little bit of a private person but itís hurting me more than helping me now. I just want to be okay with looking people in the eye and being confident in my creative choices. Anyone else dealt or dealing with this? Any tips would be heavily appreciated!