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Barakiel 04-12-2019 06:05 PM

Evening dread/unease/anxiety
Ever since last summer, I've been regularly getting these feelings starting at evening or at night (at one point last December it could start as early as 2-3 pm). At its worse, it completely colors my mood. Books and video games are unable to distract me, and I only feel like going to bed.

I jotted down some of the types of thoughts I get when this happens:


I've had this anxiety at different points in life about how the world is able to function like it does. How do restaurants reliably stay in stock of all the needed ingredients? How do small, specialty stores stay in business? How are composers able to write new music (and what if we're running out of ideas for new music?) How do academic and scientific fields not run out of research to do?
Generally, if I find something impressive or awe-inspiring during the day, it just makes me feel anxious and overwhelmed at night. I worry over my lack of progress and how life seems to be passing me by as well.

I also feel more sensitive, sympathetic, and guilty over things. I was trying to play a Spiderman game for the first time and at first I couldn't stop thinking about how he possibly has enough web-cartridge to be swinging around for so long, then I felt bad for beating up the bad guys. It felt like such a negative thing to be doing (I've played Team Fortress 2 for years and I've had plenty of laughs from the dark humor that arises from normal gameplay).

Getting an increase in buspirone helped most for about a week or two. I started taking Zoloft again amount a month ago and got an increase to 100mg a few days ago, and I'm hoping that does away with it entirely. Though I don't think it's as bad as it used to be thankfully.

Can anybody else relate? I feel like the part about being sensitive and guilty is something strange or oddly specific, though at the same time it wouldn't surprise me if someone out there has experienced that as well.

shyguy07 04-13-2019 09:56 PM

For me, usually at night I'm less anxious, my anxiety tends to happen in the morning where I'm worried about work and getting everything accomplished.

But I do tend to get depressed in the evenings, I think it's because it's dark and things slow down and I start thinking about how I wish certain things were different or better. Somehow the darkness tends to make things seem worse. I've never been able to play video games in the evenings or concentrate very well.

There are times I get the more sensitive/sympathetic/guilty feeling too, I tend to feel this way if someone does something really nice for me or is caring toward me. That's when I get like that, or if something bad happens and I feel down, then I start to feel more like that.

Citrine79 04-16-2019 06:56 AM

I can relate. Most of my evenings are spent alone in my room with nothing to do and no one to talk to. I get home from work, eat dinner and do nothing else most nights which leads to emptiness and increased anxiety. Also get pretty bad anxiety on Sunday nights in anticipation of the work week ahead.

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sming 04-19-2019 06:48 PM

I get an general feeling of strong fear/terror most nights at dusk. Like for you, that's earlier in the day in winter. I don't know what causes it but it ends any how I have of feeling OK for that day. I wish I could provide some insight :/

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Barakiel 05-18-2019 06:19 PM

I’m almost sure this started last summer when I was on vacation with family and got really congested just lying down. I was drowsy because of my night meds (which I didn’t realize at the time) and I was miserable and on the verge of a panic attack because I couldn’t get to sleep. I felt this way the nights after that, I remember the specific videos I watched on my phone to try distracting myself.

There was also this weird pattern in the latter half of 2018 where once or twice a week, I would have a night where I was full of energy and couldn’t sleep at all. I would be lucky to get 2-3 hours of sleep in the morning. But I was never anxious like this on those nights.

I have a theory that I especially don’t feel like doing anything at night because I’m worried about getting drowsy while I’m in the middle of it. I think that one night just created a bad association with nighttime for me or something.

giovanniiiii 05-22-2019 01:06 AM

I could relate somehow. There was a phase back then that it had become a normal thing to be really anxious at nights to the point that I find it difficult to sleep, sometimes even having panic attacks

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