Let me start off by saying I haven't completely stopped blushing or feeling anxious about it occasionally. However, I have really diminished the effect it has on me and can go months without even thinking about it and it is still getting better. I have never seen a doctor nor am I one, so you should probably listen to a doctor over what I have to say. I'm going to start off with how my fear began then move to potential fixes for you.
Please note that the solutions are based around getting you to stop thinking about it, which is how you actually beat it. This post is filled with several inner thoughts and small tweaks in your thinking that will hopefully help you out.
How it started for me:
I had always blushed occasionally and figured this out my senior year of high school when I looked in the mirror and saw how red I was. I didn't really think too much of it at the time though. Then, my freshman year of college, I was talking with my newfound friends when another kid blushed uncontrollably and could hardly speak out of anxiety. My friends and I left a few minutes later and they all said to each other "man that kid was so damn awkward." It really hit me hard and made me think too much about it I guess. I soon became the blusher and kids would ask me "why are you always so red?"
Keep in mind that a lot of the above will play into how I really came up with a solution.
1.5 years later, my first solution:
(this isn't what I use now but you can certaintly use it) through all the ups and downs and people calling me awkward (when I used to be a normal, funny kid) I had a class with another kid that blushed way more than I did. It was interesting because I could now observe how others reacted to him without fear of the spotlight from being red. He must not have known about the issue because he didn't seem to be affected by it much. From observing others react to him it became obvious that no one really noticed or cared. From this I determined that "it doesn't ever matter. Ever." Why? Because if you blush and know it doesn't matter, others don't think it does, or at least don't notice it as much. Now, every time I would start to blush, I would think "it doesn't ever matter ever"
. And within a week I seemed to forget about the blushing entirely. This lasted for two months until I started to get attention from two girls I liked and thought to myself "oh ****, it does matter if I blush and am a wreck now, doesn't it?" To make matters worse, an acquaintance of mine came up to me with a week of classes left and said, "I don't think you have any confidence at all. You know you can change that right?"
Let's just say those two girls ended up both completely blowing me off and I had the worst summer mentally I've ever had. I would dwell about how I had to go out and encounter people before it happened and how painful it would be. As most of you can familiarize yourselves with, it was just as painful as I thought it would be.
Beginnings of 2nd solution:
Over the summer I started to think about how my acquaintance had told me I had no confidence. I realized I didn't even know what confidence even really was, so he was right; I had zero confidence. I then read an article about how you can really think about anything you want and view yourself how you want. You can think you are a complete failure or you are good just the way you are, it is entirely up to you. And it's true: you can sit there and force yourself to think "I'm really not that bad. I can be confident." The thing is, forcing yourself to overcome negative thoughts becomes easier as you try it more. So every time I would think something like "I have to go to the post office tomorrow. I can't do that because I'll blush." I would stop and say to myself "Stop. I can do it". This helped immensely and led me to realize that blushing is only bad because we think it is.
I read a post on a forum where a girl said she was talking with her teacher when someone came up to her and asked for simple directions. She blushed and barely mumbled some directions. After the person walked away confused, the girl looked at her teacher, said "I have problems", and walked away. From our outside perspective, she only has "problems" because she thinks what she has is a problem. If she didn't think her blushing was a "problem", she would have blushed, given good directions, and continued talking to her teacher. 99.9% of people don't realize erythrophobia exists, hell even Google Chrome is telling me "erythrophobia" is misspelled and suggests I use "hydrophobia" instead.
If you don't act like it's a problem, it won't be to others, even if they point it out.
Lastly, at the on campus gym I worked out at, there was some random jacked guy who you could tell just has all of the confidence in the world. He would look, walk, and act like he was the most confident person on the planet, and because of that, it seemed like he was. I thought, "if only I didn't blush, I could be that confident." I continued to think, "what if he blushed? how would this incredibly confident dude react?" I realized he wouldn't care. Because confidence is all about believing in who YOU are and what YOU can do. You could think he was confident because of his physical achievements, but I was in pretty decent shape and had no confidence at all.
2nd and current solution
: From the above, I realized that blushing is ENTIRELY how you react to it. If when I blush I avoid eye contact, mumble, and avoid talking people will think I just have no confidence. If I hold eye contact, speak as clearly as I can, and don't avoid talking while I blush, people will think either you just blush a little or something else happened to you. I know this from experience. And after a week of painfully forcing myself to hold eye contact and stay when I wanted to walk away from a conversation due to blushing, I improved drastically and thought about it much less. When I took a shower, instead of thinking about blushing, I would think "just be as confident as possible." When I was driving to class and I would start to think about blushing, I would think "just be as confident as possible." (etc.)
Now over the past week I have regressed slightly as girls have finally started to notice me again, but with everything I have accomplished, my mind has become much stronger. I will blush here and there and feel anxious and fail at the "2nd solution" occasionally, but I realize that I can always fight my way back to where I'm at.
Keep thinking positively and that you can do it. Feel free to ask me any questions, I will try to come on here next week. Another thing, though, is stop coming to this website. Stop searching about blushing. Stop caring because that is why you are having this problem.
Now here is a my favorite motivational video (watch the ENTIRE thing as the last 1.5 minutes or so are the best part (but you have to watch the first 4.5 minutes too)):
Why Do We Fall