Originally Posted by Lets Beat Social Anxiety
The more you don't want to blush, the more intense your blushes will be. So that shows us that there's no way of out-thinking ourselves so that we don't blush anymore.
The secret is to accept your blushes, and don't resist them. Let them happen
. Naturally, you care what other people think of you (everyone does, it's a survival mechanism) but despite caring what people think, you can still learn to accept blushes.
I do this by reasoning with myself that if I avoid situations that make me blush, then I'll be seriously restricting what I'm ever going to get out of life. When we restrict ourselves socially to avoid symptoms of SA, we get lonely, depressed...you know the story. So I made the decision that although I don't like blushing in front of people, I'm willing to let it happen just because the alternative is to avoid socializing, which means getting lonely and depressed.
So I decided that blushing in front of people was a better option than avoidance that leads to depression. I also reasoned with myself that msot people are way too wrapped up in their own little world to even notice my blushes, and the people who do notice are far too focused on their own lives to take notice for any longer than 2 seconds or so.
Once you accept blushing, realize that it won't kill you, and realize that whatever other people say about your blushes won't kill you either, you'll find that blushing stops - simply because you're not worried about it happening anymore.
I was supposed to save this for my upcoming website about overcoming SA, but ah well.
I've tried making it not into a big deal, which so far has not worked, but it doesn't mean it will. It's true that most people don't notice it, in general. It's a lot more uncomfortable and painful for you than it is some one else because accompanied with it are other feelings, it seems, doesn't it?
I have been blushing in front of a particular person, however, and I think he has definitely noticed it, because when I blush, he walks by me and makes a point of saying 'hello' to me, I think knowing that I'm uncomfortable. Now I'm concerned that he may think I find him attractive, which is not the case. It has to do with the fact that he is an authority figure, which is intimidating for me. I've tended to blush around people in power, authority figures.
It's very, very true that it won't kill you! It seems that we do have a primitive programming that when there is a threat we think we are going to die, isn't there. Which isn't true, it's a lie.
Despite blushing, I am going to push right through it, try to go out there and blush anyway, because it is more isolating and painful to hide. Also, it makes some thing like blushing worse and worse.
Good luck with your SA site. Hope you keep us informed.