does this sound like bdd? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-25-2016, 09:15 PM Thread Starter
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does this sound like bdd?


I feel like I have had a serious form of bdd since I was a kid. I've had social anxiety since that age as well which contributed to a lot of the bdd symptoms

I've always been small and skinny. I remember being the shortest kid in class and having to be the kaboose when we'd walk in the hallway...that always felt so humiliating and I hated it. I was also very skinny, unhealthily skinny. not because I was anorexic, I just didn't eat that much. I always felt sad about being smaller than my peers. I always felt lower than them because of it. it's like all I would focus on when I was around them. my social anxiety was always the highest around a "jock" type guy because of how physically bigger they were than me. I felt so anxious that it was hard to resist the urge to want to run away. because of my awkward tendencies I started to get teased. not bullied, just teased playfully about how small I was. I used to get so mad when someone would call me small, like I'd get defensive and make up a lie about how I'm only small because I was made this way and I can't get bigger. but then I understood that that makes me unattractive so I would play them off more acceptably. but inside it would constantly echo inside me, you're small (laughter)

then I got to middle school and got bullied for how skinny I was. people would ask me why I'm so skinny, tell me I'm a freak, I hated it so much I would go home and cry all the time I hated my body. all I wanted was to be big and strong; I was really physically weak and I've always felt like less of a man because of it and I still am very physically weak. I would always lie to people in middle school and tell them things like "yeah I may look skinny but I can bench *insert high number here?!!!"

at this point in my life it is my dream to become average physical strength and size. I would do anything to attain those two things. I would dump my entire savings down the drain if it meant one day I could wake up with those two things. I can't imagine it ever being possible and I feel like I would become a new person if those things happened
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-25-2016, 10:26 PM
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No, it doesn't specifically sound like BDD, though i guess you could construe that anyone who is obsessed with their physical appearance might fit the diagnostic to a degree.

I would say that BDD is more characteristically around an individuals denial of attributes that are reasonably and readily apparent to anyone else.

So, if people tell you that you look perfectly normal, but you're convinced you aren't because you're too thin, that could be BDD.

The fact that you see yourself as thin and want to change it, isn't something specifically BDD. No differently than someone who feels bullied for being fat might want to lose weight.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-26-2016, 05:20 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SofaKing View Post
No, it doesn't specifically sound like BDD, though i guess you could construe that anyone who is obsessed with their physical appearance might fit the diagnostic to a degree.

I would say that BDD is more characteristically around an individuals denial of attributes that are reasonably and readily apparent to anyone else.

So, if people tell you that you look perfectly normal, but you're convinced you aren't because you're too thin, that could be BDD.

The fact that you see yourself as thin and want to change it, isn't something specifically BDD. No differently than someone who feels bullied for being fat might want to lose weight.
I see what you mean. I'm definitely obsessed. the past 5 years everyday I think about it. sometimes I'll just catch myself staring at my legs and hating how small they are. same with my arms and my chest. I usually stare at those body parts for 10-15 min each day in the mirror. idk why I accomplish by doing that but I guess I've done it for so long that it's now a habit
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-26-2016, 01:51 PM
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A mild case, maybe. Usually develop a eating disorder if you have a bad case.
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