I'm a night delivery driver in the rural Midwest. I get the thing about going places at odd hours. Never really thought about it till I got this job, but it is kind of surreal. Like a whole different world late at night. Part of my route takes me through a national forest and a lot of my stores are in very small and isolated towns and I'm there when nobody else is around. I sometimes wonder what they're like in the daytime.
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It really is surreal, like stepping through a portal into a facsimile universe or something. I feel like if you saw them during the daytime you'd be disappointed because they'd be so ordinary, all the mystery would be gone
Yes I def share so much of your need to experience the vacant spaces in public. That is the great thing to emerge out of the COVID lockdowns - I go to places b/c I know everyone is too afraid to go and there will be no one there... it is so nice and refreshing. There is probably a french term for it! haha The french have so many assigned terms for feelings or situations that we don't have (deja vu is one) in the english language. I'm a night owl because I so crave personal time and just not having the stress of talking and interacting with others in my household even.
haha yea I was thinking there has to be some kind term for this kind of experience, like deja vu or the Danish hygge. Honestly wasn't sure if I was the only one who experiences this but based on the replies in this thread sounds like it's somewhat common so there ought to be a word for it. Maybe it needs to be invented. But yea I am also a night owl, part of that is my circadian rhythm but its also a desire to experience the quiet and desolation and otherworldliness of the night.
I went on drive by myself the other day, and ended up in an empty church parking lot to make a turn. Saw an empty gazebo by some pine trees, and had a very strong desire to go sit there by myself.
Yea I completely understand this urge and also going on drives by yourself. I used to go on long drives to get away from everything and just be by myself for a while.
Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread
Sometimes I want to get away from everyone and everything especially family members or people irl, just disappear somewhere far away. I don't know that it's a craving for isolation so much as a stress response for me. Get it a lot with my dad in particular.
I've been nightwalking a few times, that's nice. I like how different everything is when most people are sleeping and all the animals come out. I do feel a lot more comfortable at night.
I will feel this way due to stress too, or just the feeling that everyone is on top of me and I need to get away (more so when I was younger and not living by myself but still get that when I have to deal with neighbors etc.) but for me it's more like isolation has its own value, separate from the fact that it is just a means to turn other people off for a bit.
Yea, I love nightwalking. I started doing it when I first starting getting into photography because its just easier to get good shots without so many people around but also because everything just looks cool and mysterious at night, especially when the blackness of the night is interrupted by streams or angles of light revealing certain features of a building or surface. I like the feeling of having the place to yourself.
I crave periods of short isolation. Short as in 12-24 hours. Isolation longer than that, I usually go into zombie mode and get depressed and unmotivated, which I hate. Once I'm in that mode, it's hard to really kick myself back out into socially functional mode. Usually when that happens, I become even more socially awkward and more out of it.
I like periods of short isolation too, and mostly that is what they are because its not really possible to be too isolated for too long but if I could disappear into a cabin in the woods for a week or a month and be alone there the entire time I'd feel completely comfortable and satiated, I wouldn't need a thing in the world. But I hear you about it affecting your ability to socialize, the more time you spend alone the worse it is for your social skills as they tend to lapse a bit.
I totally get this. I used to go night walking all the time. (I've always been a night owl.) I love seeing public spaces after everything is shut down and everyone's gone home. But for me, it has a lot to do with my feeling of safety, because I only really feel safe when I'm alone. But despite that, I hate being isolated and don't crave isolation. I don't think I ever really enjoy being alone (which is why I keep coming here to post instead of working).
I tend to be happiest when there are other people around, but only if I happen to feel safe around those people. I grew up in a large family and was basically never alone. There was always someone else around. I was happiest when I was living with friends when I was younger. I get really lonely being by myself all the time. But I'm too scared of most people to not be alone. So I have to choose between loneliness and fear. And loneliness is just the less intensely painful emotion.
I get what you're saying about being happy around others. For me it can be tough to be around other people but I also do get lonely. I don't crave isolation all the time, its just one thing I crave, I also crave community too. I'm just no good at community and I'm good at isolation haha. But yea, I understand what it's like to choose between loneliness and fear, this is a choice I have to make all the time. Unlike you however, I can find a great deal of solace and wonder in the isolation. I hope you're able to find a happy medium somewhere that works for you.