Do you also have OCD? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-17-2019, 01:01 PM Thread Starter
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Do you also have OCD?


I'm not sure if a similar thread has already been opened in this section of the forum but I haven't found any recent one so i thought about opening one.


I am pretty sure that anxiety (any form of it) has a common co-morbidity with OCD but I don't know much about the data and the research about this topic.


During my last session with my psychiatrist I decided to mention for the first time that I seem to engage in OCD tendencies. I have been in treatment with him for 6 months and never mentioned that before because the main problem I sought help for actually resulted in a diagnosis for somatization anxiety, so OCD was never my first concern and my primary symptoms have not disappeared yet. However I find myself doing things that sound crazy and I am a little concerned about them. I am not concerned about the things that I do themselves but rather about the obsessive side of my personality that they show. And about the possible complications of my other disorder.


I will give a few examples of things that I think and do just to see if there's someone who can relate to that. My compulsions and obsessions are not related to cleanliness but rather to tidiness and neatness. So I don't have any of the behaviours that many people have when they will wash their hands 20 times a day or clean their house obsessively.



1. Things always have to be in a specific position or order, for example I keep my medications on my night table in a specific order (amisulpride-trazodone-zolpidem tartrate from bottom to top next to my daytime anxiety pills), I need to use always the same plastic cup that I keep to take my sleeping drops and can't use a random glass from the kitchen for that. I always take my medications in the same order (from bottom to top as they're arranged on the night table).


2. When my boyfriend comes I won't allow him to leave his shoes or his suitcase around. I will put his suitcase always in the same place in front of my wardrobe and when he tried to move it to his side of the bed I complained that I didn't like it and moved it back. Everytime he takes his shoes off even if I'm tired after a long walk I will summon up the strength to place them in front of the suitcase, facing the window. They always have to face the window. I will also always put his laptop case perfectly on top of his suitcase and will take his clothes and fold them and put them back in the suitcase whenever he takes them off. Same things goes for electronic devices - he just leaves his wires hanging around, I wrap them up and neatly put them on top of his computer always at the same corner of my desk.



3. I am obsessed by the sound of my electric fan heater. During the winter I can't sleep without having it on (I try not to do this because it's expensive and wastes a lot of energy) and I can't let it go even when it starts to get warmer so I sweat in my sleep. Same thing happens during the summer with my fan - I keep sleeping with it even when it gets colder because I'm addicted to the sound of it and it helps me fall asleep.


4. The items I have on my desk have been arranged in the same way for years (from left to right - pen holder, water bottle, glass) I have a specific glass that is always in my room and I only drink from that one.


All these behaviours are mildly time consuming and generally not harmful which is why I never thought I had OCD but I'm starting to realize that it's not normal to HAVE TO DO things in a certain way. It's ok to have habits but it's not ok if you can't do them in any other way. I've never tried to challenge my OCD tendencies by doing things differently and I do very poorly when I'm a new environment and normally try to establish a routine there as well - for example, when I go and sleep at my boyfriend's place for a few weeks at a time I need to bring my own soap, because I don't like how other feels against my face, I will find a specific place to put my medications and always leave them there, I will arrange the bed always in the same way etc... I know nothing would happen if I did things in a different way but I DO NOT WANT to do them in any different way. I can't push myself to try and do them in a different way. The most harm this does to me is that it gives me a lot of stress because I know this is not a way to be.



However, I am very scared about addressing my OCD issues because I was previously prescribed Prozac as an antidepressant which was also recommended for OCD and I had terrible side effects so I wish to never take similar medications again. How should I go about it with my doctor?


Do you have OCD-like tendencies too (or a full diagnosis) and what is it like for you?

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post #2 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 01:49 AM
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I definitely have some obsessive traits - I wouldn't know if it would be enough for a diagnosis though. I have to have things a certain way - and it definitely doesn't have to be tidy. Often I can't even tidy things up because I'll have grown so used to where they are I need to leave them there. I put particular things in a certain place at a certain angle in my kitchen - and I have to have it like that. It's very hard for me to change it.

I find it very hard to break out of my patterns - or even do certain things. I've noticed how when I take say a bit of Valium it will ease off quite a lot and I can get things done.

My father used to be the same - especially when he was older. I'd go and visit him and move things around a bit just to annoy him. Everything had to be so straight or at just the right angle near his sink for example. So I'd make it a bit crooked. He started to laugh about it after a few times.

It's a bit like Poirot - how he always has to straighten things up on his desk.
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post #3 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 03:03 AM
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Not as bad as what it used to be. Meds kinda dimmed it down. I'm still kinda hyper aware though, whether that's a good or bad thing.

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post #4 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 03:35 AM
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Ravaged by life destroying OCD through my 20's. Lessened now but appears during times of stress. Yeh.

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post #5 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 07:42 AM
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Mild ocd right now

Ocd is a form of anxiety. The symptoms arise out of anxious mindset.
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post #6 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 07:53 AM
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post #7 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 08:01 AM
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Had it pretty bad as a kid. Antidepressants got rid of almost all of it. I still fold my toilet paper with two pieces but I don't remember if I still count them. Used to always have to be in even numbers.
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post #8 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 10:03 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Suchness View Post
Had it pretty bad as a kid. Antidepressants got rid of almost all of it. I still fold my toilet paper with two pieces but I don't remember if I still count them. Used to always have to be in even numbers.

I am very scared of being prescribed antidepressants again as I won't take them; I wonder if there's an alternative to that?

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post #9 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 10:32 AM Thread Starter
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Mild ocd right now

Ocd is a form of anxiety. The symptoms arise out of anxious mindset.
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You're right, which is why I'm not sure whether it's just anxiety or actual OCD. I will further discuss this with my psychiatrist.

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And they know one thing above all the rest
Sparkle covers evilness
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post #10 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 10:34 AM Thread Starter
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I definitely have some obsessive traits - I wouldn't know if it would be enough for a diagnosis though. I have to have things a certain way - and it definitely doesn't have to be tidy. Often I can't even tidy things up because I'll have grown so used to where they are I need to leave them there. I put particular things in a certain place at a certain angle in my kitchen - and I have to have it like that. It's very hard for me to change it.

I find it very hard to break out of my patterns - or even do certain things. I've noticed how when I take say a bit of Valium it will ease off quite a lot and I can get things done.

My father used to be the same - especially when he was older. I'd go and visit him and move things around a bit just to annoy him. Everything had to be so straight or at just the right angle near his sink for example. So I'd make it a bit crooked. He started to laugh about it after a few times.

It's a bit like Poirot - how he always has to straighten things up on his desk.

I think we're in a quite similar situation - I would love to hear from people who have supposed OCD-like tendencies but don't have an official diagnosis yet or that are at the very beginning of their journey. I'm still not sure how much this supposed OCD affects my stability.

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Sparkle covers evilness
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post #11 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 04:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Eleonora91 View Post


1. Things always have to be in a specific position or order, for example I keep my medications on my night table in a specific order (amisulpride-trazodone-zolpidem tartrate from bottom to top next to my daytime anxiety pills), I need to use always the same plastic cup that I keep to take my sleeping drops and can't use a random glass from the kitchen for that. I always take my medications in the same order (from bottom to top as they're arranged on the night table).


4. The items I have on my desk have been arranged in the same way for years (from left to right - pen holder, water bottle, glass) I have a specific glass that is always in my room and I only drink from that one.
Those ones are exactly the same as me.

I have things in the same place on my desk too - I leave the same books there, they have to be exactly the right height and at the correct angle. The ones I'm looking at now have been there for about 2 and half years - since I moved in here.

With my medication I have it in the kitchen and I have one strip of each of them on top of the other - which is always like that. Like I mentioned before things have to be at the right angle too.

I think mine has got a bit worse since I've started living on my own. My wife used to drive me insane the way she'd leave things in the kitchen - so I'd have to tidy it up. She didn't care because I always kept it so clean. But she didn't like the way I had my books - always messy, but in a mess exactly the way I wanted them to be.
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post #12 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 06:45 PM
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I have violent/homicidal and self-harm/suicidal obsessions (usually accompanied by graphic imagery). They have often left me feeling suicidal. (Using suicide to escape suicidal obsessions is one of the finer ironies of mental illness.)

The violent fantasies sometimes make it difficult for me to leave the house because just standing close to someone can trigger my OCD. (They go both directions: sometimes I have urges to harm others, but mostly I fear being harmed by others.) Sometimes just crossing a street triggers it (being run over -- I have actually been knocked down by a car at an intersection, though I wasn't seriously hurt). I have to be very careful when I use knives. I prefer blunt knives and only hold onto them as long as I have to. I have at times eaten exclusively with spoons and/or fingers.

I haven't sought treatment for my OCD because I have a phobia of psychoactive drugs stemming from a drug-induced psychotic episode. I won't use anything but caffeine (which I plan on mostly quitting) and alcohol (which I rarely drink, but which helps). I don't want to go on SSRIs because the side-effects are all things I already have problems with (insomnia, nightmares, akathisia, etc.), plus one of my obsessions is having a psychotic break by going on them.

I manage my OCD using Schwartz's 4 Steps. Over the years, I've gotten better at managing it.

I also have OCD about other minor things -- always checking the ceilings for spiders when I enter a room (I have a spider phobia), having to read every page of a book before I can consider it "finished" (including footnotes, acknowledgments, etc.), etc. -- but they don't bother me enough to worry about.

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post #13 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-18-2019, 10:06 PM
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Yes. During my first ever mental evaluation, my results mentioned a possible case of ocd, due to having explained that I have a habit of touching the tips of my fingers and cycling through each of them several times.

Since I was quite younger, annoyed and anxious at having to be mentally evaluated, I didn't mention any of my other (potentially more serious) traits.

Some examples: I cannot be drenched in water while wearing clothing, which extends to disliking rain. Although...I think part of this may have been brought on by having a phobia of drowning due to...some traumatic experiences when I was quite young...whenever I'm in the shower and have to wash my hair or rinse, I have an intense reaction and start having trouble breathing.

I have to arrange food on my plate in a certain way, where I have to keep everything close to together and away from the edge. Which extends to many everday things...I feel like objects need to be away from the open and kept close together or it doesn't seem right.

If someone doesn't turn their head or arm or move their mouth when they speak a certain way or direction, I have to act it out myself.

I have to read something several times to make sure I read it correctly before moving on.

That's not everything, but just some of what I've experienced for many years.

I don't care if it's dangerous or not...I'm going to town either way.
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post #14 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 04:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Eleonora91 View Post
I am very scared of being prescribed antidepressants again as I won't take them; I wonder if there's an alternative to that?
You can try googling to see if there are any supplements that can help with it.
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post #15 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 04:13 AM
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Just remembered I showed someone this video before when they asked about OCD. Evette Rose is very advanced and goes into a lot of detail when explaining these things.

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post #16 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 04:17 AM
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It's interesting how she mentions that the autonomic nervous system fails to reset itself because Wim Hof's breathing method enables us to consciously affect it. I'm thinking it might be a way to help with OCD, seems worth looking into.
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post #17 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 05:44 AM Thread Starter
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Just remembered I showed someone this video before when they asked about OCD. Evette Rose is very advanced and goes into a lot of detail when explaining these things.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WneoAcn1XiA

Thank you, this will be an interesting video to listen to today. I will then express my own opinion about it.

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post #18 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 05:49 AM Thread Starter
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Yes. During my first ever mental evaluation, my results mentioned a possible case of ocd, due to having explained that I have a habit of touching the tips of my fingers and cycling through each of them several times.

Since I was quite younger, annoyed and anxious at having to be mentally evaluated, I didn't mention any of my other (potentially more serious) traits.

Some examples: I cannot be drenched in water while wearing clothing, which extends to disliking rain. Although...I think part of this may have been brought on by having a phobia of drowning due to...some traumatic experiences when I was quite young...whenever I'm in the shower and have to wash my hair or rinse, I have an intense reaction and start having trouble breathing.

I have to arrange food on my plate in a certain way, where I have to keep everything close to together and away from the edge. Which extends to many everday things...I feel like objects need to be away from the open and kept close together or it doesn't seem right.

If someone doesn't turn their head or arm or move their mouth when they speak a certain way or direction, I have to act it out myself.

I have to read something several times to make sure I read it correctly before moving on.

That's not everything, but just some of what I've experienced for many years.

Some of the everyday obsessions/compulsions you describe are similar in nature to mine. I am not an extremely clean person, it doesn't bother me if there's some dust somewhere but tidiness and neatness do bother me. The order in which things are arranged or in which I do things are the things that bother me the most. Sometimes I will do something and it just "doesn't feel right". I don't have a "safe" alternative for that, so I will be forced to go through the discomfort trying to figure out how to perform that action differently, which in some cases results in completely insane thoughts. I never thought it was a major problem for me compared to others (depression, anxiety, eating disorder) which is why I never sought help for it.

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And they know one thing above all the rest
Sparkle covers evilness
Shimmer covers all the mess
Glitter covers darkness»
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post #19 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 05:51 AM Thread Starter
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I have violent/homicidal and self-harm/suicidal obsessions (usually accompanied by graphic imagery). They have often left me feeling suicidal. (Using suicide to escape suicidal obsessions is one of the finer ironies of mental illness.)

The violent fantasies sometimes make it difficult for me to leave the house because just standing close to someone can trigger my OCD. (They go both directions: sometimes I have urges to harm others, but mostly I fear being harmed by others.) Sometimes just crossing a street triggers it (being run over -- I have actually been knocked down by a car at an intersection, though I wasn't seriously hurt). I have to be very careful when I use knives. I prefer blunt knives and only hold onto them as long as I have to. I have at times eaten exclusively with spoons and/or fingers.

I haven't sought treatment for my OCD because I have a phobia of psychoactive drugs stemming from a drug-induced psychotic episode. I won't use anything but caffeine (which I plan on mostly quitting) and alcohol (which I rarely drink, but which helps). I don't want to go on SSRIs because the side-effects are all things I already have problems with (insomnia, nightmares, akathisia, etc.), plus one of my obsessions is having a psychotic break by going on them.

I manage my OCD using Schwartz's 4 Steps. Over the years, I've gotten better at managing it.

I also have OCD about other minor things -- always checking the ceilings for spiders when I enter a room (I have a spider phobia), having to read every page of a book before I can consider it "finished" (including footnotes, acknowledgments, etc.), etc. -- but they don't bother me enough to worry about.

I am very sorry to hear about your own experience. Seems like you've been through a lot, and still are. I'm glad this technique is helping you. Have you tried any therapy that didn't involve medications? That could work out for you.

«But the thing that girls know best, is that glitter covers all the ugliness
And they know one thing above all the rest
Sparkle covers evilness
Shimmer covers all the mess
Glitter covers darkness»
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post #20 of 41 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 11:37 AM
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Yes, I have OCD-related traits, though not classic, full-on OCD such as handwashing or hair pulling.

I hate the spores on the bottom of ferns in my area. They're too standard, neat, and too round. I hate clothing with the spore-like pattern or texture, too.
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