disorganized schizophrenia - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-24-2007, 05:03 PM Thread Starter
 
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disorganized schizophrenia


I came here in 10th grade when SA had me paralyzed, i did home tutors
while taking vicodin jan 2005, that whole year and stopped before 2007. The vikes made me aimless, I called it dissociative instead of dealing w/ my problems, and even off of them for a few months i was nuts. I had catatonic symptoms last summer, when i was smoking weed. I was paranoid, and called it dissociative braindead when i could no longer watch tv because i literally couldn't think, and was too depersonalized. My mom is the only person I can talk to, and I feel like our relationship is one-sided and she thinks I'm a schiz. I was in the hospital for paranoid psychosis, but I still believe, I'm not paranoid.
I moved in nov. and was so out of touch, I was dreaming AS a 5-15 year old, and didn't really know where I lived. I developed aimless/obsessive/
delusions, that are still lingering. I mumble random, disorganized things that I can't control, and often just feel sickended by. My family mocked me and called me paranoid because i flipped out, and wound up in the hospital, but I had no clue how to deal, my only thought was lying and saying i wasn't hallucinating. I'm positive my whole neighborhood knows me, cause i go out like a schizo to walk my dogs and they mock me and mumble. It happened in the hosptital w/ the other patients and stuff.
I can't talk to anyone, even my doc understands im a disorganized, semi-delusional schizo but ignores it and mocks, then calls me paranoid. My delusions arent so bad but I am cut off from my life, future, mom, and all i can do is think random things I KNOW make no sense.
I needed to vent, my life sucks, I'll never get out of my house like this. Disorganized schiz. is uncommon and I have NO help w/ it, considering I can't remember the last thing that went through my mind, or was said on tv or something. WTF can I do? I have too delusional or 'manic' on nihilist
philosophy, which is horrible, too even realize I have noone, my family is addicted to painkillers, and probably nihilist, and I can't stop echoing long enough to think str8. I mumble my every thought. I realize this post is useless, still helps to vent.
But does anyone know anything about it? Where do I start? I was out of school for 11th, idk if I'll go next year...
Maybe I just need to get the ***** out. Is anyone else as isolated and cant
wact tv?
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-25-2007, 01:09 AM
 
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Re: disorganized schizophrenia


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sesshomaru
I came here in 10th grade when SA had me paralyzed, i did home tutors
while taking vicodin jan 2005, that whole year and stopped before 2007. The vikes made me aimless, I called it dissociative instead of dealing w/ my problems, and even off of them for a few months i was nuts. I had catatonic symptoms last summer, when i was smoking weed. I was paranoid, and called it dissociative braindead when i could no longer watch tv because i literally couldn't think, and was too depersonalized. My mom is the only person I can talk to, and I feel like our relationship is one-sided and she thinks I'm a schiz. I was in the hospital for paranoid psychosis, but I still believe, I'm not paranoid.
I moved in nov. and was so out of touch, I was dreaming AS a 5-15 year old, and didn't really know where I lived. I developed aimless/obsessive/
delusions, that are still lingering. I mumble random, disorganized things that I can't control, and often just feel sickended by. My family mocked me and called me paranoid because i flipped out, and wound up in the hospital, but I had no clue how to deal, my only thought was lying and saying i wasn't hallucinating. I'm positive my whole neighborhood knows me, cause i go out like a schizo to walk my dogs and they mock me and mumble. It happened in the hosptital w/ the other patients and stuff.
I can't talk to anyone, even my doc understands im a disorganized, semi-delusional schizo but ignores it and mocks, then calls me paranoid. My delusions arent so bad but I am cut off from my life, future, mom, and all i can do is think random things I KNOW make no sense.
I needed to vent, my life sucks, I'll never get out of my house like this. Disorganized schiz. is uncommon and I have NO help w/ it, considering I can't remember the last thing that went through my mind, or was said on tv or something. WTF can I do? I have too delusional or 'manic' on nihilist
philosophy, which is horrible, too even realize I have noone, my family is addicted to painkillers, and probably nihilist, and I can't stop echoing long enough to think str8. I mumble my every thought. I realize this post is useless, still helps to vent.
But does anyone know anything about it? Where do I start? I was out of school for 11th, idk if I'll go next year...
Maybe I just need to get the ***** out. Is anyone else as isolated and cant
wact tv?

Ses,

I am SO sorry. my heart goes out to you, because you have to deal with even so much more, noone in your life even seems to take you seriously at all. i can't even express how much this bothers me, but I want you to know that what is wrong with you is a glitch in the brain, and it has nothing to do with the person that you are inside. please try to remember this. I mean it with 100% sincerity.

People are total crap. You are internalizing so much of this that you need for it to come out. what goes in must come out! are you interested in playing music, writing, joining a team? believe me, I know from experience, you can take all of this negative energy and turn it around. you can put it out there as something better, something that moves you. angry? write about it, let it out as you are doing here, but do it as much as you possibly can. it's all of the crap that you need to purge.

good luck!
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-25-2007, 12:52 PM
 
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re: disorganized schizophrenia


That's scary! I'm sorry that things are so hard for you right now. Without some kind of support system, coping with emotional and psychological problems becomes so much more difficult. Is there any way you could switch doctors? It doesn't sound like your doc is very good. You need to find someone who can understand what you're going thru and give you ways to treat it. *Hugs*
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-25-2007, 03:30 PM
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Have you tried any atypical anti-psychotics such as Zyprexa, Abilfly, Geodon, Seroquel etc.?




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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 08:42 AM
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 134
no its not scary, the best you can do is keep seeking professional help, the doctor, yoiur family, and meds are your best friends, im sure theres the meds right for you to live a normal life, just tell your doctor everything that bothers youso he can prescribe just what you need or do whatever its necessary, good luck!
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