Depression from SAD
Sorry, I need to let this out and I don't know where I can do this.
I've finished uni and I need to apply for jobs. I've applied to some places a few days ago but I haven't heard anything back. These are just for summer jobs, and soon j need to start looking for real full time jobs.
I feel like I lack experience and with my social anxiety I suck at talking and putting myself out there and I'm not assertive either.
I'm terrified I won't be able to get a good job. I've moved back home and I have no friends here, they're still at uni and live too far away anyway, even if they came back.
I've had depression since high school but for the past year it's gone. I thought I'd escaped it but since uni finished I just keep thinking about what a failure I am, working wise, socially, relationship wise, everything. I can't stand myself and I can't stand the thought of working everyday for the next 50+ years of my life. thinking about adulthood and what I should be doing makes me want to cry and I feel like I'm suffocating.
i don't know what I'm asking for by making this a topic, sorry, I just wanted to let this out.