Could I have aspergers or some form of autism?
Ever since I was little, I didn't really click with people. I didn't click with family members, people at school, strangers, basically anyone. I was constantly pushed to have good grades, despite not understanding anything I was being taught. I couldn't do any kind of memorization or math, and the only reason I was passing was because I was reading books for extra credit. I never had any friends, but my family put more focus on the fact that I was "smart" so they didn't really care. When I got into older grades, it only got worse. I didn't know how to talk to people, or get them to like me. The only thing I've ever really liked is video games, and people never wanted to be around someone who only talks about video games. Truthfully, it was the only thing I knew how to talk about. I went to therapy, but they never tested me for anything and only diagnosed me with depression. (I don't have parents) but my remaining family refused to let me have medication. My grades just got worse and worse, and while everyone else around me was growing up and getting into sports and sex and everything else teenagers were into, I just didn't understand it. I've never felt sexual attraction towards another person.
People started beating me up at school, and the only thing I knew how to do was fight them back. I got in bad trouble for it and got sent to another school, where absolutely nothing improved. I was failing 3/5 of my classes, but my family thought it was just me being lazy because I was "smart"! The only reason I was passing my end of the year tests is because I was mainly guessing, and just barely scraping by. I tried sports, but my teammates just bullied me more. To this day, I don't understand people and I have a hard time feeling empathy for them. I'm not sure if I could have some form of autism, or if it's just me overreacting.
"It's hard, seeing the person you look up to fall right to your feet."