Compulsive Lies - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 07:20 AM Thread Starter
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Compulsive Lies


I am not sure if it is right to post this here.

I am really new to this whole thing and confused and now i have hit a wall. I meant i always feel that there is something wrong with me and my personality. But i did not start trying to find out what is wrong until recently, when i hit rock bottom. I took quite a number of online tests these past few days and it seems like i definitely have social anxiety. I am definitely a compulsive liar. And I have shown lots of signs of paranoia and depression, suicidal thoughts included. After a while reading, i started to wonder why i am even here, why i am even living.

I read lots of post here and i admire most people i read about, who are really positive, much more positive compared to myself; who really seek to get help and try to get over the anxiety regardless of how hard it seems. But i am the only compulsive liar around and compulsive liar never deserves sympathy or help. I know for a fact because i constantly curse myself for that. I have cut off all my connections with the people i know because I am too ashamed of myself. I lied to them all. I am not sure if this is a secondary disorder. I am not sure if it is even a disorder.

I am scared. I can try finding a psychologist to get help for disorder, but there is no help for compulsive liar. I know that everyone hates liar, but please believe me that i am desperate to change. I really do not know where to turn to anymore.

If you have ever know of anyone with the same problem, can you please share with me? thanks
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 07:27 AM
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What problem? I don't have a problem? Just kidding.....just a little "lying" humor.

Compulsive lying is like a wall, covering up perceived flaws. The fear of people getting to know the real you is the main problem. By just posting what you have, and I don't even know the details, I have a lot of respect for you .

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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 09:50 AM
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Yeah, I have this problem too. I don't really have any advice for you though, sorry. It's just so much easier to lie. Honesty is a virtue derived from morals which don't need to exist.

"Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing".
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 11:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by millenniumman75 View Post
What problem? I don't have a problem? Just kidding.....just a little "lying" humor.

Compulsive lying is like a wall, covering up perceived flaws. The fear of people getting to know the real you is the main problem. By just posting what you have, and I don't even know the details, I have a lot of respect for you .
Me too. =)
It's ok to be a compulsive liar, I have sympathy for that!!! xx
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 11:56 AM
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What is your motive for lying? Is it to protect yourself from criticism, to protect your privacy, or something else?
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 11:57 AM
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I wouldnt call myself a compulsive liar, but I do lie about myself and my accomplishments to others. I do this to cover up the fact that I feel like a failure in my life due to social anxiety. I tell others what they want to hear when they ask me a question. I am afraid of confrontation, especially when I have made a mistake. I have a hard time owning up to a mistake I have made, and I usually lie to try and get out of the situation, or having the blame placed on me (this always comes back to haunt me) I am terrified of people finding out that I have lied to them about my past ie jobs, college degree, places I have lived etc. I dont really want to tell people I am a triple times college drop out, live with my parents because I cant find a decent job without a college degree, I lie about what I have accomplished in my life or exagerrate events to make my life seem more exciting. I am a huge people pleaser and always tell people what they want to hear and agree with everyone. So I think being a compulsive liar could be tied to social anxiety. My lies are based on fear, fear of making mistakes, fear of having someone angry with me. So it makes sense to me.
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 09:41 PM Thread Starter
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@ millenniumman75: Thanks. I don't quite get the humor and i blame my bad English for that T__T. But i think you are right. I am terrified that people will find out that i lie and that i am boring and such.
@ kathy903: thanks so much.
@ kiirby and sandeman: thanks. But for me, i really hate myself for this. Sandeman, i know what you mean, i have the same problem. I say what i think will please people. But i don't really want to do that. I regretted saying a lie the moment it comes out of my mouth. I am so scared that if i tell people and correct the lie, they will think i'm insane.
@LALoner: i really can't understand it myself. Why i lie. I mean for example, i was talking to this person, and i asked her how her new job is. She was surprised since we have not talked for so long and yet i know of her new job. So i told her i can't remember how i got to know that. That was a lie, and for no apparent reason. I know all too well that I searched her on Facebook and saw the update... I mean why do i need to lie about that ? there is nothing wrong with the truth at all and it is not like the lie is any better. I have no idea why I just blurted out that lie, before i could even think i realized that i have told a lie.
This is bothering me so much and i feel really hopeless.
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 09:47 PM
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It sounds like you lie to stay private and secret so people can't hurt you. If you had told that girl you check her FB page it means admitting you like her enough to keep up with her doings and that opens you to pain because it hurts when people you like don't like you.
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 02-16-2011, 12:44 AM
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When you guys lie in your life does this include JOB INTERVIEWS?
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 02-16-2011, 07:44 AM Thread Starter
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@LALoner: come to think of it, what you said may be true. I have never thought of it that way before though, mainly because every time i lie, it happens so fast that i was sure there were no thinking involved. I meant i am not sure if i am smart enough to reason it the way you did and yet, i did lie anyway.
@ QuietBoy99: I cannot recall ever making up lies during job interviews so i would say no to your questions. Thinking back, i have never lied during job interviews, performance appraisals, school work related stuffs. Seems like i only lie about absolutely trivial things, not the stuff that can lead to serious consequences, or at least stuff that i think has the potential to. I still remembered that i refused to follow my career counselor's suggestions when she asked me to exaggerate more on my resume. I can understand her concern because it was completely unimpressive but could not do it anyway.
This is also what bother me the most. I meant if i lie to get a job, to get a promotion, then i can totally understand it and will know what is wrong, what needs to be fixed. Instead, i only lie about things that really does not matter at all. And the only one who stands to lose anything from those lies will be me and just me, as far as i can tell. So why in the world do i do that? Am i insane?
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