Borderline Personality Disorder - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 09-29-2012, 08:45 PM Thread Starter
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Borderline Personality Disorder


I was diagnosed with BPD this past year and it really was like the missing puzzle piece I was looking for to explain the way I acted and I was wondering if there was anyone else on here struggling with BPD? I would love to have someone to talk to who really understands it...

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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 09-30-2012, 10:00 PM
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I don't have it, but I've studied it intensely and if you ever want to talk about it I can.

I know the pieces fit cause I watched them fall away
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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 10-01-2012, 10:04 AM
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I don't have it, but I've studied it intensely and if you ever want to talk about it I can.
Could you elaborate on what it means when they refer to "extreme measures to avoid real or perceived abandonment"? What kind of abandonment and what would constitute "extreme measure"?

Also, does splitting occur numerous times with the same person. That is, once an idealized person has become devaluated, can they ever switch back to idealizing them?

I believe I sit very high on the BPD spectrum, but as a diagnosed bipolar type 2 with ultra-rapid cycling it's almost impossible to differentiate the two.

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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 10-01-2012, 10:08 AM
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I've beem told I have it.

The second time I was told this that night I saw a documentary on Aileen Wournoss ,the female serial killer, it said she had it, enuff said.
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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 10-01-2012, 11:03 AM
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I dunno if I have is. I thought I did but right now I'm more Bipolar type 2 as mentioned above...I really wish I just knew why I act like I do.
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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 10-01-2012, 11:06 AM
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I thought I had it, never told anyone, never got diagnosed, don't know if I have it now

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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 10-01-2012, 01:03 PM
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Could you elaborate on what it means when they refer to "extreme measures to avoid real or perceived abandonment"? What kind of abandonment and what would constitute "extreme measure"?
The abandonment can either be real or perceived. If it is perceived, an innocuous comment or action by the person the patient fears losing could be interpreted as an abadonment threat. "I'm going to the store" might be seen by the patient as "I'm leaving you." This is typically where the main problem occurs, as the BPD patient may be reacting to an abadonment threat that isn't actually an abadonment threat.

One example of an extreme measure would be the patient threatening to commit suicide if their boyfriend/girlfriend dumps them. If I recall correctly, Brandon Marshall (NFL player who has BPD) locked his wife in the closet to prevent her from leaving.

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Also, does splitting occur numerous times with the same person. That is, once an idealized person has become devaluated, can they ever switch back to idealizing them?
Yep.

I know the pieces fit cause I watched them fall away
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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 10-01-2012, 01:27 PM Thread Starter
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The abandonment can either be real or perceived. If it is perceived, an innocuous comment or action by the person the patient fears losing could be interpreted as an abadonment threat. "I'm going to the store" might be seen by the patient as "I'm leaving you." This is typically where the main problem occurs, as the BPD patient may be reacting to an abadonment threat that isn't actually an abadonment threat.

One example of an extreme measure would be the patient threatening to commit suicide if their boyfriend/girlfriend dumps them. If I recall correctly, Brandon Marshall (NFL player who has BPD) locked his wife in the closet to prevent her from leaving.
it's nice to know that people are informed about bpd rather than being scared of the people who have it. it is a very broad diagnostic. but yes, the abandonment thing is always a huge problem with borderlines no matter real or perceived.

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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 10-01-2012, 03:22 PM
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I can relate, BPD is one of the diagnosis they threw around for me when i was in therapy. Lately, due to my life this year, i've been doing some more research on it an effort to try and understand myself a little better while i decide whether or not to go back to therapy.

I'm currently reading a book called "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" http://www.amazon.com/Hate-You-Dont-Leave-Understanding/dp/0380713055
Which is all about BPD. I started circling things in the book that i do and ended up circling half of the first few chapters.

Unfortunately, the "percieved abandonment" issues can creep all the way down into what can seem like mundane things like text messages.
Sometimes, if someone doesn't text or call me back in the time frame that i would expect, i start to think "what have i said wrong? do they not want anything to do with me anymore?" which can then lead into all kinds of anxiousness and paranoia.

The "emptiness", feeling of "faking it" all the time and the "splitting" make it really difficult to form strong life long bonds with anybody. I tend to end up abandoning people by choice out of fear of them abandoning me. I want to be close to people, but the closer they get, the more uncomfortable i feel.
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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 10-02-2012, 03:23 AM
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The abandonment can either be real or perceived. If it is perceived, an innocuous comment or action by the person the patient fears losing could be interpreted as an abadonment threat. "I'm going to the store" might be seen by the patient as "I'm leaving you." This is typically where the main problem occurs, as the BPD patient may be reacting to an abadonment threat that isn't actually an abadonment threat.

One example of an extreme measure would be the patient threatening to commit suicide if their boyfriend/girlfriend dumps them. If I recall correctly, Brandon Marshall (NFL player who has BPD) locked his wife in the closet to prevent her from leaving.



Yep.
Awesome response, thank you.

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."
- Albert Camus

"Everyone wants to get out of the rain
Wants to be free, wants to see no more pain
We're guaranteed that the season will change
'Till then, I'm keeping sunshine on my brain"
- Mike "Eyedea" Larsen (RIP)
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post #11 of 27 (permalink) Old 10-02-2012, 05:36 AM
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Splitting is a *****.
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post #12 of 27 (permalink) Old 10-02-2012, 07:44 AM
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Do you guys find you devaluate for no real reason? Do you split simply based on mood (eg: good mood you love everyone, bad mood you think everyone is stupid and useless)?

Or, are there things that trigger your splitting?

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."
- Albert Camus

"Everyone wants to get out of the rain
Wants to be free, wants to see no more pain
We're guaranteed that the season will change
'Till then, I'm keeping sunshine on my brain"
- Mike "Eyedea" Larsen (RIP)
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post #13 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-05-2012, 03:04 AM
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I haven't been officially diagnosed, but I believe I have the disorder. I have been putting off going to a psychologist but I have an appointment on Saturday which will hopefully shed some light on the matter.
I do show all the symptoms though: always socially awkward and I'd rather stay at home than go out to socially interact. I don't have many close friends and even my family doesn't know what's going on in my head. I also tend to get really upset as soon as n get criticised or I feel like I've made a fool of myself ( just the other week I made a small mistake at work and it was like the end of the world. I was crying for a whole week. And when I think about it now, what for?) My job is very stressful and I find that its too much for me too handle. There is just too much responsibility resting on me, and it send me into a panic frenzy. I find it hard to make friends even though I'd love to have close relationship with people I feel like they won't get me and will think I'm stupid when I express an opinion. I end up just keeping to myself. I couldn't and still can't do public speaking for fear of saying something stupid. I'm so scared of being rejected and being thought of as stupid, that I'd rather just keep to myself. It's really hard, and I feel like it progressively getting worse as I get older. I kind of feel like I'm loosing it. I'm not even able to study (towards my accounting degree) and even though I love music and art I don't even attempt it because I don't think I'll be good enough. I'm usually defeated before I try. I don't know, does this sound like avoidant personality disorder?
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post #14 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-06-2012, 05:45 PM
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I can relate, BPD is one of the diagnosis they threw around for me when i was in therapy. Lately, due to my life this year, i've been doing some more research on it an effort to try and understand myself a little better while i decide whether or not to go back to therapy.
Yeah I've gotten reports that I have BPD, but sometimes I do wonder whether I have it or not. It just seems hard to tell. Just because I cut myself, have done a lot of self-damaging things, have problems relating to people, feel empty and bored in life, have had problems with anger and paranoia, etc, does it mean I have BPD? I've done a lot of research on it, but sometimes it seems other people have more serious problems than I do.

It doesn't help how google has results like: Is borderline personality disorder real? For all the research I've done on it, it's still confusing to me. Sometimes I think it's just a reaction to trauma in early life, but since, at that stage, your personality/perception of yourself and other people are still developing, it kind of Fs up your entire personality. And how the heck is a therapist supposed to change your personality? They can help you with some of the more damaging things, but your underlying personality isn't going to change much.
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post #15 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-06-2012, 06:12 PM
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It's always going to seem like there are people with more/less severe symptoms than ourselves, no matter what the condition is. The condition is the underlying root of whatever issues somebody is manifesting. It doesn't necessarily dictate exactly what every person with BPD is going to do.
It does seem that BPD is a hard one to both diagnose and define due it bringing on a myriad of other symptoms that can be at odds with each other. The more i research, it tends to be that BPD is the underlying condition in some people that then manifests as depression or bipolar or anxiety or anger issues or a variety of other things.
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post #16 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-06-2012, 06:25 PM
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Do you guys find you devaluate for no real reason? Do you split simply based on mood (eg: good mood you love everyone, bad mood you think everyone is stupid and useless)?

Or, are there things that trigger your splitting?
For me it can be based on mood, that has a lot to do with how much i can enjoy anything, including people.

But for me there are also certain things that someone might do that will 180degree my opinion of them. I couldn't even tell you exactly what they are, because it's not always the same. When someone does that "one thing" i can instantly go from thinking the world of them to despising them with a passion, or the reverse. They might do something that suddenly makes me want to idolise them even though 5 mins ago i wanted them not to exist.

I find the hardest part of splitting is trying to integrate my compartmentalised worlds. example:
- I do Trivia with the Trivia People
- I don't do anything outside work with work people.
Even the suggestion of one of my work colleagues maybe coming into my trivia group put my brain into a freakout spin of "how would i act, am i going to seem like the same person?", "what is one group going to think of me after they see me interact with a different group?"
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post #17 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 12:40 AM
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Yeah, that all makes perfect sense. It's pretty terrifying how fast our moods/perceptions/self-esteem cycle. It's like taking the insidious mood changes in bipolar, compressing them into an hour and multiplying their intensity by a million.

I can go from feeling distraught, empty, alone and sad to elated, happy and positive in a matter of minutes. It's a ****ing nightmare.

It's a tough disorder. Nearly impossible to find people to relate to.

Check out this youtube channel. The dude is a BPD sufferer who offers insightful advice. He's a crazy Dutch dude, but I find him endearing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqb50...2&feature=plcp

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Wants to be free, wants to see no more pain
We're guaranteed that the season will change
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post #18 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 01:09 AM
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I've beem told I have it.

The second time I was told this that night I saw a documentary on Aileen Wournoss ,the female serial killer, it said she had it, enuff said.
I believe that she was also suffering from some more serious problems, as well. In passing, I've seen a few videos of her trial. It was obvious that she was psychotic and that may have been a significant motivator behind the murders.
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post #19 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 01:27 AM
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Theodore Millon has written a lot about personality disorders. I've read one of his books called Personality Disorders in Modern Life, which is really in-depth and has case studies. In particular I think his sub-types are interesting.

There's also a pdf online of the book I Hate You, Don't Leave Me.
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post #20 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 11:05 AM
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I think I might have this, but then again, after 2 hours on Wikipedia I think I have everything. I could put a hundred different labels on myself if I really wanted to. If getting a diagnosis helps you to find a better life or understand yourself, do it. Otherwise it's just a way for pharmaceutical companies to get rich.
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