If nothing else, I can share with you my story:
Food has been a crutch for me since my adolescence. If I feel really awful (stressed, sad, angry) I tend to reach for sweets in particular. A couple of years ago, I wound up in a very stressful situation in my life. It triggered a pretty severe breakdown. As a result, I had
to indulge my sweet tooth, otherwise life was unbearable. Over several months, I developed compulsive eating habits. Combine that with a lack of motivation to exercise, and I gained a good 25lbs.
After 5 months, I extricated myself from that stressful situation, figuring everything would get back to normal. Sadly, it didn't. My environment was calm, but I was still in turmoil. The damage ran very deep. For a few months, I still couldn't control my eating. It was like I always needed something in my mouth, for security. If I stopped eating, then maybe I'd have to face my unbearable emotions; maybe I'd have to face my unbearable reality. I would eat and eat until I felt sick.
At the same time, I now hated my body. I had been fit and reasonably slim before the breakdown. Now I was significantly overweight, out of shape and, in my estimation, ugly. I couldn't forgive myself. I felt unbearable shame. My confidence had also taken a serious hit and didn't think I could
get fit again. So I didn't really try. I felt powerless. The shame and self-hate exacerbated my compulsive eating, and in a way I was probably "punishing" myself by not working out. In any case, my mind was still screwed up, and food was one of my few pleasures.
I still haven't gotten back to where I was before, neither psychologically nor physically. There's been some progress though. I don't binge anymore. I'm not that disciplined (and I still eat too many sweets), but in general my eating is moderate and controllable. I enjoy exercising again; I try to do it regularly. I still don't like how I look without a shirt, but I think I'm slowly getting to accept my body. Baby steps, I suppose.
I don't know your situation well enough to give you any good advice. It sounds quite severe, and I think you really need to find a professional who can help you out.
A few months ago I decided to change my stress outlet and I started running when i felt stressed.
I'm impressed. How did you turn it around like that?