Avoidant Personality Disorder - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-16-2021, 01:21 PM Thread Starter
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Avoidant Personality Disorder

Hey guys, was wondering if anyone here was maybe diagnosed with AvPD / suspecting they have it on their own? I've gotten the diagnosis and can definitely relate to a lot of the markers and behaviors that accompany it. Especially just being scared all the time with almost everyone and leading what feels like a totally secluded life and just feeling so vulnerable all the time. Maybe a bit vague, but I definitely notice these traits. Anyone else diagnosed / suspecting they have it? How do you feel you suffer / what does it mean for you to be avpd? Anything you found that helped you cope better or improve?
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-16-2021, 04:48 PM
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sort of suspect i am in the same ballpark. no diagnosis though. not tried to get one. i prefer to think i have more schizoid personality traits, but that may just be because schizoid is edgier lol. i mean who wants to see themselves as having AvPD, basically running away constantly, etc etc. i don't feel really vulnerable all the time, but i do feel completely separated from everyone, and my boundaries are constantly under attack. idk if i'm cut off from my feelings or if i cut them off by avoiding. and idk if i feel separate because i created my own "otherness" or if i was separate so i created my own "otherness". so... what i am saying is did i adapt to AvPD or was i SzPD? or even autistic spectrum, but i think i think that because other people think that, and that's just because they don't know AvPD or SzPD. my biggest problem atm is avolition. i just don't really feel like doing anything. but its also just a socially constructed problem since i don't really need to do anything? i'm close to being NEET again, but it feels pretty good tbh. i struggle with allowing myself to feel good when its not meant to be good as seen by "society" etc.

anywho, the things that have helped me are my values, philosophy, and tao te ching. and of course having a friend. when i don't have a friend things get pretty bleak.

I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples. ― Mother Teresa
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-16-2021, 06:17 PM
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I've never been diagnosed though I'm certain this is a central part of my psyche. I'm extremely avoidant and spend overwhelming amounts of time alone. I constantly try to wiggle myself out of any kind of social engagement I am faced with.

You live up in your head
Scared of every little noise
Someone's always breaking in accidentally
Using nothing but their voice
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-17-2021, 02:58 AM
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I've only been diagnosed with social phobia and selective mutism at different points in my life.

I have so many different traits from several disorders lol... narcissistic traits, psychopathic traits, schizoid traits, possibly AvPD but I think it leans more towards schizoid because I spend a lot of time comparing my emotional reactions to others and feeling broken for not having the same depth of emotion in regards to relationships (I also relate to older classifications of schizoid pre-dsm which are slightly different.) I wouldn't say I'm 100% schizoid though, but it depends where the line is drawn I guess and how much definitions are based on external observation. Also autistic and ADHD traits.

Undiagnosed autism has been suggested by a few people though and does seem likely based on everything I've seen (would also explain the gender dysphoria/atypical sexuality since that's common for autistic people as well.) Must be close to the threshold anyway. Something besides just basic social anxiety is definitely going on.

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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-17-2021, 03:31 AM
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I remember reading a lot about AvPD some years ago. I disliked the term SAD because it seemed to include too many "functional" people and wanted to find a term for something more long term and debilitating.

I think the impression I got that it wasn't really well defined or researched, so I stopped thinking about it much even though I probably have it since my anxiety is persistent (I think a lot of people on this forum also may have it).

I remember in one book or paper it was called "the neglected personality disorder", but can't find now which one. This paper does say it's neglected in research though:

Empirical evidence for cognitive-behavior and schema therapy is promising. Few other therapeutic approaches have been developed, but until now, these have only been investigated in case studies. We conclude that AVPD qualifies as a neglected disorder and that more research specifically on avoidant personality disorder symptoms and its treatment is needed.

I remember this idea used to offend me, and I was really invested in proving to myself that I had a "personality disorder" and not just a "mental health issue", since these two things are really quite different imo.

I don't care that much now though. I can say extreme SA or AvPD, doesn't really make much of a difference if the other person understands it makes me dysfunctional and is kind of a lifetime sentence.

the truth may vary
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-17-2021, 03:42 AM
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Pretty sure I have it to a degree at least, with the way I was raised growing up. Endless criticism and shaming even when often times when it's unwarranted. My brother I think also had it so a much lesser degree, which he was often coined as being lazy. My sister had no sign of it on the other hand. So to be fair in this case, I probably can't really blame anyone much for it but myself. As an adult, this has gotten better and worse, better again, worse again. Flip flop. I have to work hard to gradually come out of it, but it will take just a small nudge or trigger to set me all back again. If it weren't for that, I likely would've been much farther ahead in life.

What goes up, will inevitably come back down. Whoever you have to step on when you go up, you will be at their mercy when you go down.

The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-17-2021, 08:07 AM
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Never been to a psychiatrist, but I definitely relate to the traits of AvPd.

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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-18-2021, 03:13 AM
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Don't think I have a personality disorder, though I have symptoms from several of them.


Those affected display a pattern of severe social anxiety, social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation and rejection, and avoidance of social interaction despite a strong desire for intimacy.

People with AvPD often consider themselves to be socially inept or personally unappealing and avoid social interaction for fear of being ridiculed, humiliated, rejected, or disliked. They often avoid becoming involved with others unless they are certain they will be liked.
I can relate to "avoidance of social interaction despite a strong desire for intimacy" and "consider themselves ... personally unappealing." But I don't feel inadequate or inferior, I'm not extremely sensitive to negative evaluation or rejection, I'm not particularly socially inept, and I don't really care that much if people reject me or dislike me. What I'm afraid of is any kind of physical violence or any threat to my life or livelihood.

Beauty isn't everything. It's the only thing.
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